The Light Don't Sleep, by Dr. Ruthless

The Light Don't Sleep

by Dr. Ruthless

Disclaimer: Nobody pays me. I merely play with them for fun.

Rated: T

Author's Notes: This one is Anson Greene, and the song is one by David Grey.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Its dark in here. Its been dark for years, and the shouts in the night disturb me, make me remember.

The pills that they give me stop me from feeling; theyve separated me from my soul, and I cant remember who I am only who I used to be, as if that was such a great thing.

I was a man once. I know I was. I remember being free, with the wind against my face, and the warmth of the sun on my skin as my daughters warm arms encircled my neck, and she slept against my shoulder, with absolute trust that her daddy would never let her down.

And here I am, alone and aching. Any pain Ive ever felt is gone; rage and hatred have been subsumed by despair, and all that remains now is numbness, dark and seductive. Daily, I fear that it will suck me down into the red depths and I will never fight free again.

There must come a day. There will be light for me again, I need to believe that. I will be able to see, to feel the light once more and be a man. There will come a time when I can feel again instead of merely remembering how it felt to do so.

It was my fault; I know that I did wrong, but does that give them the right to take away my soul? I never believed in souls until mine was lost, and I with it. They tell me I can have it back when I leave here. They tell me I can once again be a man and have her proud of me. They tell me that the light doesnt sleep. They tell me that I am getting better.

I remember the red haze of rage and the feel of splitting flesh against my knuckles as she cowered. Dont you think you can cheat on me, bitch. They all cheated on me. You were supposed to be mine forever, but she does shes like the rest of them. Only Annabel wont cheat.

So, shes the light that shines in my head when everything goes dark and the screams in the night remind me that Ive lost my soul. Some day my light will shine again for real, and she will know that I kept her alive in my heart.

Theres a cry in the night, the sound of running feet and a scream. The sound of flesh hitting flesh with a thump makes my teeth ache as I listen. I know what theyll do, because Ive been there myself. I nod to myself as I hear them start the taps to run the bath, and the struggle as the jovial voices take him away to immerse him. Alone in the space within my head, I concentrate on my silver lining.

Annabel.

My daughter is innocence and magic the one thing in my life I ever managed to get right.

I know that shes still mine, no matter who else leaves me. I know that shell be pure and perfect, and when Im free again she will be there, waiting for me to come home to her.

Some day shell put her arms around my neck again, and Ill feel the warmth of her sweet breath against my neck; some day shell sleep on my shoulder, and Ill protect her, because in my whole dark world there is nothing else that I want.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Silver Lining, by David Grey

Take this silver lining
Keep it in your own sweet head
And shine it when the night is
Burning red
Shine it in the twilight
Shine it on the cold, cold ground
Shine it till these walls
Come tumbling down

We were born with our eyes wide open
So alive with wild hope now
Can you tell me why
Time after time they drag you down
Down in the darkest deep
Fools and their madness all around
Know that the light don't sleep

Step into the silence
Take it in your own Two hands
And sprinkle it like diamonds
All across these lands
Blaze it in the morning
Wear it like an iron skin
Only things worth living for are
Innocence and magic, amen

We were born with our eyes wide open
So alive with wild hope now
Can you tell me why
Time after time they drag you down
Down in the talk so cheap
Fools and their madness all around
Know that the light don't sleep
Know that the light don't sleep

Time after time
They drag you down
Down in the darkness deep
Fools in their madness all around
Know that the light don't sleep
Know that the light don't sleep

End

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Feedback to Dr. Ruthless