Outcome

by Panzareta

Pairing: M/K

Rated: A-slash

Author's Notes: Thank You To Ursula for her wonderful stories, which gave me the idea for this snippet. It was originally written as a present for her as it is quite clearly based on her story "Factory Fresh". It is posted here with her knowledge and encouragement.

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Alex was feeling uneasy. Mulder had been brooding and acting very mysterious lately, all signs of incipient trouble. Alex just didn't know what form of trouble Mulder might be thinking of. Mulder's problem was that he was *smart* instead of normal, and that meant he could torment himself in thousands of different ways that would cause Alex days of "therapy", meaning that they would fuck like bunnies in order for Mulder to resume a half-way normal existence...

"What's wrong, Mulder?"

Mulder stared sadly at the Mac27. He was fond of the droid; in fact, he almost thought he loved it at times. It acted very human, so human at times that it worried him. In fact, he even questioned Scully about it, but Scully had reassured him that they were specially designed to be as human as possible. So Mulder had learned to live with his Alex, gradually adjusting to the presence of another being in his apartment. In fact, he often found himself treating it as if it really were Alex. But then he always remembered that it was just a droid, and not his Alex at all.

"It's ok, Alex. Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong."

Alex bit his lower lip, chewing it slightly. He really hated when Mulder talked down to him like this, but he still had no wish to blow his cover. Quietly he sat down on the couch next to Mulder, rubbing the older man's back.

"Do you want me, Mulder? I could..." Mulder stiffened slightly, and Alex dropped his hand. Something bad was wrong, he just knew it.

"Maybe later, Alex."

Alex stood up, needing to get away. "I'll fix supper, then, ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

Mulder remained seated on the couch, staring distantly into space. Alex fixed a light supper, knowing from experience that a heavy meal would only cause Mulder to stay awake instead of resting. Mulder picked at the food, as Alex had known he would, before excusing himself. Alex carefully scraped the remains into the garbage disposal and put the dishes into the dishwasher. Steeling himself, he went in search of his lover.

"Mulder, please. Tell me what's wrong." Alex pulled out all the stops, looking up at Mulder through veiled lashes, a hint of tears in his eyes and a faint tremor in his voice. Naturally, it worked as Alex had known it would. Mulder captured his lips in a gentle kiss and Alex moaned slightly, allowing Mulder his dominance.

"Let's take this to the bedroom." Mulder pulled Alex gently by the hand and soon they were busily making love. At least, Alex thought they were. He was never quite sure what Mulder thought or felt anymore. Sated at last, they fell into a deep sleep. A deep sleep that was broken by a restless Mulder. Alex turned on a light, seeing the tears streaming down Mulder's face. Sensing the light, Mulder opened his eyes to watch Alex.

"Mulder, please. You have to tell me what's wrong."

"It's Alex."

"Me? What...?"

Not you. Your progenitor, Alex Krycek."

"Oh." Alex was dumbfounded by the statement. He hadn't realized that faking his death would have so many far-reaching consequences. "What about him?"

Mulder looked down, nervously smoothing the rumpled quilt, his voice lowered to a faint whisper. "He haunts me. Every night, I dream that he's beside me, watching over me."

There was a long silence while Alex wondered how he would ever explain this farce to Mulder. He was startled as Mulder began speaking again. "He can't rest, you see. There's too much unfinished business between us. Now, it's too late and his ghost haunts me."

"Mulder..." Alex was at a rare loss for words.

"It's ok, Alex, really it is. You're only a droid; you can't be expected to fully understand this. But I want you to know that I do love you. Not like I would have Alex, but almost. You deserve better, a lot better. I know that. But for now... is it good enough for you, love?" There was a pause, and then "I won't make any promises, but maybe someday..."

"Mulder..." Alex's voice was choked with tears. "It's more than I ever expected." Alex's voice was a roughened whisper. "Mulder... listen... I have to tell you..."

Mulder placed a soft finger against Alex's lips. "Hush, now, my Alex. Let's try to go to sleep." Mulder pulled Alex close to him, cuddling him tightly, tucking the dark head against his shoulder. Hazel eyes slowly closed, and silence filled the room. Green eyes remained open, though, staring worriedly into the darkness.

Two Weeks Later

Alex was following Mulder down the street. Mulder was investigating rumors of a real psychic at the annual fair, and he insisted that Alex accompany him. Alex had no idea of why his presence was needed but knowing Mulder's gift for trouble, he assumed that guard duty was the least of his worries.

Finally, Mulder stopped at a small, rather plain booth. Alex studied it with a sharp knowing glance but found nothing out of place. It seemed safe enough, but he kept his guard up. The alleged psychic, a tall woman who appeared to be in her forties, was dressed in the traditional outfit of Levis and t-shirt. She wore a minimum of makeup, with only a bracelet of silver and turquoise for decoration. In fact, she looked more like a housewife than a psychic.

"Ms. ... Lyonesse?" Mulder shook hands and looked at her curiously, wondering if he was in the right place.

"Hello, Mr. ... Fox?" The woman looked at Mulder, whose stared at her in a mixture of amazement and irritation.

"Excuse me, but have we met before?"

"No, I remember all my clients. You're new. How can I help you?"

Alex studied her closely, but if she was faking it she deserved an Oscar. Besides, his special scam artist radar was silent so he decided to withhold judgment.

"I was wondering if you have a licence..."

"... for my work? Yes, I do. Would you like to see?" She produced a slim file that she handed to Mulder. "I realize that there are many dishonest people in this line, but I'm not one of them."

Mulder took his time studying the file, and Alex peered over his shoulder. If the paperwork was legit (and Alex was sure it was) then this woman was *unusual* to say the least. Alex studied her a bit more closely. Finally, Mulder handed her file back and studied her with an oddly distant look.

"Now, how may I help you, Mr...?"

"Special Agent Mulder, FBI."

"Very well, Agent. You may call me Lyonesse." She tilted her head slightly, studying the two men.

Mulder turned to Alex, eyes slightly downcast. "Would you excuse us, please, Alex?"

"Sure." Alex moved across the hall, careful to keep them in sight. Mulder was talking quite earnestly, and the woman nodded her head in agreement. Of course, Alex knew from experience once that marvelous Muldermouth started talking, anything could happen--and usually did. Alex was privately thankful that Mulder had no interest in politics. Mulder could make the weirdest, most impossible scenarios appear sane and reasonable and a sudden vision of a President Fox Mulder made Alex tremble in fear. Mulder in the Oval Office... Alex's train of thought was derailed, noticing a slight pause as something was given due consideration, then the discussion slowed to a halt. Mulder turned and motioned for Alex to return. The woman smiled briefly at him, and then turned her attention back to Mulder.

"Here's my card. Call anytime."

"I will."

Another brief round of handshakes and the two men left the booth. Mulder was strangely silent and resisted all of Alex's attempts to draw him out. Finally, Alex gave up and walked beside his lover, trying to enjoy the day. Alex wondered if Mulder looking for anything in particular or if he was simply wasting time. They were in the craft section by now and Alex looked at the various artistic endeavors. Most showed only average skill but some indicated real talent. Mulder stopped at one booth which displayed a variety of pottery and hand blown glass. Mulder studied several small glass jars before deciding on one with a swirled green pattern. Alex watched as Mulder held it briefly before setting it down.

"That the one you want?" The clerk came over, and Mulder promptly paid with cash.

"Hold on while I get your change, mister."

"Keep it, I'm late for a meeting."

Alex saw the clerks wide-eyed look of astonishment and wondered how large the bill had been. "Mulder, just what did you give her? A fifty?"

Mulder shrugged slightly and remained quiet. Alex stifled a sigh. A droid wasn't supposed to have feelings, but Mac-27's were different. Mulder-in-a-mood would try the patience of all the saints in heaven; and a Mac-27 was only human after all.

Late that night, Alex tried to sleep with little success. Mulder had continued his vow of silence all the way home, through the evening meal and even during a passionate bout of sexual gymnastics. Alex felt exhausted, wondering if Mulder had talked Scully into secretly writing a presciption for Viagra. Mulder, though, was sleeping peacefully. Alex shifted slightly and Mulder promptly snuggled closer, blanketing Alex with his body.

One Month Later

It was a bright Saturday morning. Alex wondered what sort of plans Mulder had made this time. The last two weeks Mulder had been even more secretive than usual, going through storage boxes and generally turning the place upside down. Alex had patiently trailed along, cleaning up and wondering what exactly he had done in a past life to condemn him to a life as Fox Mulder's maid.

"Come on, Alex. We're going for a drive." Mulder was dressed in a suit and tie, which promptly raised Alex's worry factor.

"Where are we going, Mulder?"

Mulder shrugged slightly. "You can borrow one of my suits, Alex. The fit should be close enough."

Alex carefully kept his face impassive as he moved past Mulder toward the bedroom. This was not good. He did not like this, not one little bit. He hurriedly dressed in one of the suits, found an acceptable tie and was back in the living room in time to see Mulder place something inside a small box.

"Are we going to a party, Mulder?"

Mulder looked soberly at Alex. "No, it's not a party. You'll see."

Alex hated surprises and he hated not knowing things, especially if it was in connection with Mulder.

Two hours later, they had left the city traffic behind. Mulder drove in silence, which only exacerbated Alex's nervousness. Any attempts at conversation were rejected and the only radio stations featured static. Alex snapped off the radio and stared out the window, dozing slightly. They left the freeway, turned onto a smaller highway and drove for another hour.

"Mulder can we stop? I'm getting hungry."

Alex looked pleadingly at Mulder but there was no response. Alex promptly resolved to destroy all of Mulder's sunglasses, because the man was even more infuriating when he decided to imitate a stone wall. Mulder stopped at the nearest fast-food he could find. Minutes later, they were back on the road.

Finally, Mulder pulled up at a small quiet cemetery. Alex was puzzled by this. He knew that Mulder's parents weren't buried here. Neither was Samantha, for that matter. Alex glanced at the older man in concern. Something was definitely up. A small blue Plymouth made its way toward them and Alex watched in surprise as the psychic from the meeting last month climbed out of the car.

"Hello, Mulder."

"Lyonesse." Mulder shook hands with her briefly, and turned to introduce them. "This is my friend, Alex... MacDonald."

The woman turned and smiled at Alex. "Hello, Mr...."

"Just call me Alex."

"Very well, Alex." She turned back to Mulder. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I guess I am." Mulder's voice was strained.

Together they walked a short distance, and stopped near an older monument. Alex looked around, puzzled before noticing the bronze marker on the ground. Alex felt a sudden chill as he read the inscription Alex Krycek. 1963-2001. There was an additional line. Alex's Greek was rusty, but he was fairly certain that it read "defender of mankind." Mulder had removed the dark glasses, and Alex could see the bleak weariness of his expression.

"Is anyone else coming?" Taking the men's silence for agreement, she opened a small book, pausing to wait a few moments more. "Shall we begin, gentlemen?"

Alex stood frozen, not daring to believe that he was attending his own funeral service. He simply couldn't believe that Mulder had arranged all this and not said a word. True, he had perpetuated the story of his death and it was assumed that he was merely a droid, but for Mulder to have organized this ceremony...

There ceremony was an odd conglomerate of various religions, yet there was. A brief prayer was followed by a popular song. There was a brief, respectful silence before she spoke.

"If the Spirit leads any of thee to speak, will thee speak now?"

Alex was surprised at the odd Quaker phrasing but remained silent. He sneaked a quick glance at Mulder, who held the small box. Roughly clearing his throat Mulder began to speak.

"I met Alex at work. I didn't care for him at first. But I gradually grew to like him, and later on, I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me too but... he didn't. Things got bad and... we... broke up. And then everything got crazy. He lost his job, but he still helped me. Each time I'd see him, we'd fight. I usually hit him and he let me. He never fought back. Then he went overseas. I found him by accident, and he was coming back with me but we were separated. He was gone for a long time. I wondered if he was dead. But then, he helped me on an... undercover ... assignment. It helped me get back some of the respect I'd lost in my job. Alex risked so much to help me. But there was still more to do. We went... undercover... together. A lead took us to a national forest. We had to go in... then later we got separated... Alex lost his arm in a bear attack, he was all alone without anyone to help him. I don't know how he lived through that, he might have died. He dropped out of sight for a long time, and then one night he came to my apartment. He... It was that night I realized the truth--that he loved me and I loved him. But he was gone before I knew what I had to say. And since then, well there never seemed like there was a good time to talk things out. There were so many other things at stake, so many lives that depended on..."

Alex hadn't been too surprised at the highly edited version of events; after all, Mulder could hardly tell the woman-Lyonesse-the truth. Yet Mulder had, in his own way, been as honest as could be expected. Mulder paused and was silent for so long that Alex thought he had finished speaking. But then Mulder unexpectedly spoke again.

"I finally got word of his death. I checked and double-checked because I was sure it was a lie, that he was still alive. But... I was wrong. There was so much I wanted to tell him. I wanted to let him know that I understood that he had made the wrong decisions in the beginning and if I had paid attention to what was really going on, I would have maybe been able to help him turn things around, if that was what he wanted. Or if he didn't or maybe he couldn't... I could have at least listened to why and tried to understand... He might have had a sister like me or a brother... I never bothered to know about him, to ask him why... what drove him to his choices..."

The tears that had been threatening finally broke, silent tears that tore at Alex's heart. The woman patted Mulder's shoulder and he gradually grew more composed.

"I don't know when or where Alex died. This jar has all the things that I could find of his. The photo is from when we were working together, an office party someone --Pendrell, I think-- was taking pictures. I hate having my picture taken so I bought the negative from him. I made this copy... Alex looks really nice--he'd been in the pool and just got out of the shower, his hair was nice for a change... Alex had this really awful haircut, kept his hair slick with gel so it wouldn't curl, and when he left the gym I found this comb... I don't know why I saved it... and there was this little gold earring on the floor of the shower..."

Mulder fell silent again and spoke no more. The woman looked expectantly at Alex, but he had nothing to say. He couldn't think of anything that he could possibly do or say that would defuse the situation; if anything, it would only make the situation even worse.

The woman handed a large trowel to Mulder, and he knelt in front of the marker, being careful to hollow out a proper space for the box. He held it in his hands for a long time, turning it over and over in his hands before tucking it in the gap, making sure the sod was properly packed down. Alex slowly bent down beside Mulder, gripping his shoulder tightly. Mulder gripped Alex's hand and struggled to stand. Alex watched his reaction with a definite sense of uneasiness.

"Mulder? Are you ok?" Alex's voice was soft with anxiety.

"Yeah, sure, Alex. I'm fine." Mulder responded slowly, as if from a distance.

Lyonesse watched quietly as the two men comforted each other. She had instinctively known the two men were a couple, but there was a strangeness in their relationship that she could not understand. Mulder seemed to treat Alex as a toy, as if he wasn't real. It was quite clear to her that both men were real, though she had instantly noticed Alex's prosthesis. There was a very faint difference in his aura, one that was very nearly invisible. It couldn't be the reason that Mulder treated Alex so oddly. She tired to stifle a sigh. It really was none of her business, except that Mulder had asked her about couples counseling. She had no objection, but she really wasn't qualified. Especially since Mulder was an expert in the field. He hadn't mentioned anything about Alex, but she knew the younger man would be calling he soon. Rather than bringing closure to the two men, the healing ceremony she had crafted seemed to have had the opposite effect.

The next move belonged to Alex.

End

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