Letters Home

by Lady Stetson

Rated: T

Disclaimer: Tony's not mine, but should be. Everything else here is mine. I'm not making any money from this.

Author's Notes: This story has been proofread, but it has not been betaed as such because it's written as letters, and most people don't have their personal letters beta-read. So... it's supposed to look like this. Bad spelling and all. Thank you to Sue and Realitycek for the non-betaing beta reading, and the encouragement. Also... most of the dates in this story are picked at random, they are not reflective of anything but a general view of history. "The views expressed are those of the characters, not the author." Let's face it, war doesn't bring out "political correctness" in people.

Dedication: For Nick, who gave me Tony. Today is the 58th anniversary of D-Day (June 6, 1944) I'm posting this story in honour of all veterans of WW2. "You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake." ~Jeanette Rankin.

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June 27, 1944, NYC

Dear Sis,

Here I am in "the Big Apple." It's strange being in a real city again. But welcome, to us city boys anyway. You should see my buddy Bob Thompson (Tommy), though, he's from Nevada and before he joined the army had never been in a town bigger than 1 or 200 people. Walking around New York some times one of us has to reach over and close his mouth for him. Just like at home, a uniform is as good as a free ticket just about anywhere you want to go. (Don't worry Anna, your little brother is behaving. Tell Beth.) The best part of that is when the Indians were in town a few days ago. Mack and Tommy and I, with the "fourth corner" of our gang Mike Gillespie, got tickets. It was something going to Yankee Stadium. Even better when the Tribe won. Mike is a home town boy and Yanks fan, and Mack and I still haven't let him hear the end of it. I'm sure you can figure out that we're going to be shipping out to England soon. No one seems to know when, or where we'll go after that. Most guys are laying bets on if it will be Normandy or Italy. I don't much care one or the other, as long as I see some action before this war is over. It's half killing Mike being here, because he's married but has to live at the barracks with the rest of us instead of at home with his wife and little boy. He took us home with him after the game for a real home cooked Italian dinner. If that's the way they eat there I think I'd rather be going to Italy after all. His wife is a swell lady, she said she was going to adopt herself as my big sister but I told her the job was already taken. Mike's the "old man" of our group, at 22. Tommy is almost 19 and Mack only a few months behind him. But once I turn 18 I guess they can't call me "the baby" of the group anymore. There's talk after the big invasion earlier this month that the war could be over before Christmas, so may be I'll see you by then. All my love to everyone at home,

Tony.

PS, Mack sends his best.

PPS, Tommy says "Howdy." (He really does say howdy, just like a movie cowboy.)

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July 1, 1944

Dear Tony,

Happy birthday, baby brother! Although, can I still call you my "baby" brother now that you're eighteen? Since I'm writing this on your birthday, it's a little bit silly wishing you a happy birthday. I know that they try and get G.I.'s mail to them fast, but even the U.S. post office isn't THAT fast. I should say I hope you "had" a happy birthday. But I'm your big sister and today's your birthday, and I just don't care. Tommy and Dottie made me make a cake for tonight even though you're not here to blow out your candles. Everyone's thinking of you today and wishing you were here to celebrate with us. We're planning our regular neighborhood party for July 4, and I'm sure that you and Mack will be very much missed. Tell Mack that I'm thinking of him too, and that I'm counting on him to keep you out of trouble. The two of you look out for each other and keep yourselves safe. I'll keep this short, as you told me in your last letter that you'd be leaving for either New York or California any day, and I'll write you again when I know where to send the letter. Give my love to Mack, and of course to you, baby brother (yes, I've decided that you're still my baby brother.)

Love, Anna.

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Aug. 7, 1944, ETO

Dear Sis,

Well we're here. I'm not sure I can tell you where we are, but if you remember where I told you we might be going when we left NY, we're not in France. The letter you sent to me on my birthday finally caught up with me, it only took a month. Thank you. I was hoping for something from Beth, I've written to her every week since I left and have only seen one letter back. Do you know if she's alright, or is she getting my letters? I don't think I could describe what it's like here if I tried. The country is beautiful, but a person can tell that the fighting's been thick here. Even the bombed out parts of London don't look like this. Tommy, Mack, Mike, Jamie Ramirez, another fellow and I all got sent to the same infantry company as replacements and it wouldn't be a lie to say that the guys already here don't like us. The last member of our group is gone already. He was shot in the leg and we haven't even seen combat yet. Should any day though. I'm anxious to get it over, although from anticipation or nervousness I'm not sure. We're only a mile or so behind the "front" line, and even from here the artillery sounds fierce. Mack says to say hello. My love to all,

Tony.

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Aug 15, 1944, Italy Dear Sis,

Everything I said to you in any letter about wanting to see combat, I take it back. We got orders yesterday to the front, and last night went on our first patrol. We quickly ran into Germans doing the same and set to shooting at each other. I don't know how my handwriting will be as I don't think my hands have stopped shaking since. Can you believe your "baby brother" could kill some one? I wouldn't have, if some one had told me yesterday. But given a choice between only one of us making it, I didn't have a problem and don't feel bad. I got back to my foxhole without a scratch though, and Mack. He's here now. He says "Hi" and wishes he was home. So do I. I think of you all all the time. Especially Beth. Please tell her to write me. Please. I should keep this short. I need to get some sleep before tonight.

Tony.

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July 18, 1944

Dear Tony, I just received your letter of June 27. I'm sure that you've left New York by now, and hopefully this letter will find you wherever you've gone from there. I hope that you're keeping yourself safe and sound, and the same for your friends. Good news about the Indians beating the Yankees in the game you went to, but I hope you didn't tease your friend Mike too mercilessly. I always thought that the first time you went to Yankee Stadium would be as a player, but I'm sure you will one day. I had no idea that Beth hadn't written to you, and I will certainly tell her that you asked after her. Maybe, little brother, you should take her lack of correspondence as a warning. I hate to say that, as I know it will hurt you. But I'd rather suggest the idea to you quickly than have you wondering and worrying for months if she's okay. On to cheerier subjects, Frank was home on furlough last week. He says to keep yourself safe, and that he'll be training his aircrews extra carefully now that he knows they're providing air support for his favorite brother-in-law. I'm sure that your dog misses you, as we all do, but you'll be glad to know that Tommy is taking good care of her. With some help from yours truly, of course. I don't know what you were thinking of, putting a four year old in charge of the care of a dog that size. She sleeps with him, of course. Sometimes on his bed, when they think I'm not looking, so that, at least hasn't changed. (Yes, baby brother, I know that you let her sleep on your bed.) I've enclosed a picture of the four of us that was taken while Frank was home. Hopefully it will help to remind you that we're thinking of you, and make you feel closer to home. With any luck you will be home soon, we've been hearing the same reports about a possible victory by christmas so let's all keep our fingers crossed. Keep yourself safe, and tell Mack to do the same. We all think of him often, and miss him almost as much as we do you. With all my love, and the same from everyone here. Your sister,

Anna.

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July 20, 1944. Cleveland, Ohio.

Dearest Tony,

I talked to Anna yesterday (she made a special trip over here, just for that) and she said that you had been asking about me, and that I should write to tell you what I've been doing. I'm not sure just what to write, Tony, and I don't think there's an easy way to break it, so I suppose I'll come right out and say what I'm going to say. I don't think you should expect me to be waiting for you when you get home. After that I don't suppose there's anything else to say. I'm sure you hate me now, and I don't blame you if you do. I know I was supposed to play the part of the dutiful girlfriend waiting for her brave soldier to come "marching home" but it just was too hard. I'd hear news reports about fighting here, or there, and I'd start picturing you dead or wounded, and I'd get so scared and lonely that I couldn't bear it. I'll always remember our night together and how safe I felt being held by you. I hope one day you can forgive me and also remember that night, and me, fondly. Good bye, Tony, I hope you win the war and come home safely.

Love, (really) Beth.

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Aug 17, 1944. Italy

Dear Beth,

Please tell me that the last letter I got from you was my imagination. I keep reading the address on the outside, hoping that there was a mistake and it was supposed to go to another Tony from another Beth. Except I recognize your handwriting. I don't hate you Beth, I love you. I could never hate you don't you know that. Please Beth. Please please PLEASE change your mind. I wanted to marry you before I left, and I still want to marry you. We can pretend that the letter you sent was just a bad dream. I can't tell you how many times when I've been scared or alone (I feel that way too Beth) that thinking of you or looking at your picture has made me feel better. I think of "our night" all the time. You said how romantic it was, remember? Think how much more romantic it will be when I come home and we can be together every night. There's a reason they call it making love, Beth. I love you more after that than I did even before. Jesus, look what you've done. Making a grown man beg. Well, I don't care, I have no pride about it I only want you back. I hope you change your mind. Please write back to me and tell me.

All my love, yours forever,

Tony.

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Aug 18, 1944, Italy (still)

Dear Beth,

I've thought about what you wrote and my reply. I guess if you don't want to wait for me I can't make you. I still love you and I'm sure I always will but I won't expect you to hold to any promise you made to be there when I get back. If you ever change your mind let me know. Until then I guess this is goodbye.

Tony.

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Sept 15, 1944.

Dear Tony,

I hope you and Mack are well, safe and staying warm and dry. I have some good news. Unless you get home before March (and a sister can hope that you will) you'll have a new niece or nephew waiting here to meet you. Tommy started school last week and he loves it. Sadie Douglas went back to school as well, of course, so she's had to give up the job she had all summer babysitting the children during the day. She still stops by most days after school to see if there's any news of you and to tell me about the latest letters from Mack and all the high-school gossip. Your team didn't make the league playoffs this year; I guess one player can make all the difference. At least if the player is you, that's true. I still remember how proud I was of you last year when I watched you pitch the winning game in the championship. I'm still proud of you, Tony. I don't think I say that enough. Having a baby brother who's a baseball hero is wonderful enough, but what you're doing now makes you a real hero, Tony. By anybody's standards. I'd still rather have you home, but at least I know that you're doing something worthwhile. Look at me here, I'm crying all over the place. Blame that on the hysterics of a pregnant woman if you want to. On second thought, don't. They're real tears, there because I love my baby brother, and I miss you and worry about you constantly, and I really am very proud of you. I can see you rolling your eyes at me now. I know how impatient young men can get over anyone who makes a fuss over them (unless it's a pretty young girl, of course. And I don't think I qualify in this instance.) So I'll stop for now. Give my love to Mack, and if this letter gets to you in time wish him a happy birthday. I'm sending him a letter of his own for his birthday, but this will probably get there first. Both of you take care, and keep each other safe.

With love from your sister,

Anna.

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Oct 15, 1944

Dear Anna,

I got your letter from Sept 15. Sadie wrote to me as well, but I havent read it yet. Mack got your letter today too. We didnt celebrate his birthday we were in combat at the time. Please dont cry over me Sis. I dont think I can bear the idea. Im not a hero Sis, please dont say I am. I want to come home so badly that I dont even care any more if its in one piece. Even if that means I never play baseball again Ill never play again if I get killed any way. No I cant think like that. I have to believe that Ill make it home otherwise Ill just give up and go crazy. But I can sure understand why guys are so happy when theyre shot bad enough to go home. Now Ive made you worry more. Dont worry. I'm still here and determined to kill as many Germans as I can as fast as I can and then get my ass home in one piece. I want to see the new baby. Mike Gillespie just found out that his wife is due in February too. Always thinking of home,

Tony.

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Dear Tony,

Surprise! This is Sadie, Mack's sister, remember me? For our English class, we're supposed to write to someone in the service. But it has to be somebody we're not related to, so that leaves Mack out. Oh, I write to him all the time anyway, and you know it! Anyway, I picked you. I miss you and Mack so much you wouldn't believe it. I remember that I used to get so tired of the two of you ignoring me unless you were picking on me that I would have given almost anything to make you go away, but now I wish you were back here to tease me. I'm taking good care of the baseball you left with me. The one with the autographs of Bob Feller and Joe DiMagio on it. Sometimes I let my friends look at it, but they're never allowed to touch it. I don't know if you heard, but your old girlfriend Beth is getting married. I never did like her, Tony, and now I feel vindicated in saying so! Mack keeps writing and asking if I have a boyfriend yet. Tell him that I'm waiting for you! Just kidding (mostly.) I go to your house a lot, and visit with Anna. Tommy and Dottie are growing so fast! And now the other baby is going to be here in the spring. I can hardly wait! Babies are so adorable! Anna says that Tommy looked like you when he was a baby. I bet you were a precious baby. Please write back to me. We get extra credit if we get a letter back, and also I haven't heard from you in so long. Let me know what it's like over there, Mack never says anything about it and I'm curious. Anyway, you're probably tired of listening to a stupid 14 (15 in Feb!) year old girl, so I'll stop writing. Take care of yourself, and of my big brother as well. I hope you both come back safe SOON. Sincerly (that's what we're supposed to write, for class, but what I really mean is "with love"),

Sadie Douglas. Cleveland, Ohio. September 23, 1944

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Oct 15, 1944

Dear Sadie,

Of course I remember you. Silly. Thanks for writing to me even if it was a class project. It made me smile and thats a rare thing these days as theres not much to smile about here. Id tell you about what its like here but believe that you dont want to know. Macks right not to tell you. Dont wait for me Sadie as I might not be worth waiting for. Beth probably did the right thing. I hope shes happy. Somebody deserves to be happy in this world. I didnt know about her getting married though. Thankyou for taking good care of my ball. Id forgotten that I gave it to you. But so you know, its DiMaggio with 2 "g"s. Your teacher should mark you down for that. Just teasing. Do you have Mrs Evans for English class? I had her for 3 years. That seems like a long time ago. If you do shes probably pretty upset about the way I write now but its hard some times to remember the right grammer when your in a hole in the ground and people are dropping 88s on you. Tell her I said hello anyway. Take care of your self.

With love (Im not writing for a class so I can say that),

Your brothers best friend,

Tony.

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December 1944

Dear Sis,

Merry Christmas. Youd have a hard time knowing it was Christmas here exept for the snow and cold. Theres also not much merry about it. Im sorry Sis I try to be cheerful in my letters but some times I just cant. Im feeling awfully homesick tonight for some reason. It must be knowing that your going to be celebrating Christmas without me. Im not even sure what today is or if its exactly Christmas yet. I think its in a couple of days. Please think of me on Christmas morning and know that I was wishing I was home with all of you. I don't think Santas going to make it to Italy this year. Yes were still in italy I think weve been here forever. Remember in the summer when we were hoping to be home by now. Not this year may be next. This is a terrible confession Anna but some days I dont think were going to win at all. Theyr just going to leave us here until we freeze or get shot. Now thats not a very cheery letter for Christmas is it. I know that when I get down it makes you worry and I dont want to worry you because of the baby. The good news is that the weather in this mountains is keeping the krauts quiet. Their cold too. And your brother is still a better shot than the other guys. I dont have time to write two letters so please send along my Christmas wishes to Sadie. Shes been sending letters to me loyally though I know its not for class any more. Tell her to keep writing. Mack says merry Christmas. Hes still here and still okay too.

Wish I was home, love,

Tony.

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November 3, 1944

Dear Tony,

I've learned my lesson about the Army's mail service, and I'm sending your Christmas package extra early hoping that you get it in time. I'm sure it will hardly seem like Christmas without you home. Thanksgiving will probably be a sorry affair, with both you and Frank away. He is supposed to be getting leave for Christmas though, so at least I will have half the men in my family home. It seems strange to me to be calling my baby brother a man, but I have to keep reminding myself that's exactly what you are. You'd never believe it, but Beth stopped by the other day wondering how you were. She's married now - Sadie told me that she told you - and expecting a baby in the summer. I can't imagine how strange it must be for you to hear that, considering I know you wanted to marry her yourself. She seems happy, if that's any consolation. But I know that my "big sister" protective instinct hopes that she's not totally happy, and will always regret hurting you. So there. I hope that you and Mack are keeping yourselves safe and warm. Thinking that the two of you are together at Christmas makes it a little bit easier for me to accept that you're so far away from home. That doesn't mean that either of you is missed any less though. I was thinking the other day about the Christmas when the two of you were eight and both wanted real horses so that you could be cowboys. Do you remember that? I can't imagine what you would have done with horses in the city. Where were you planning on keeping them? Probably in League Park, if I know you.

The children are already getting excited for Christmas and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Tommy still loves school, he has the same kindergarten teacher you did. When he is home he's inseparable from your dog. I'm afraid that you'll have a battle on your hands to win back that animal's heart when you get home. I'm sure she remembers you though, and still waits by the door when you would be getting home from school or baseball practice if you were here. Dottie is growing bigger every day, and more curious about the coming baby. I don't think she believes the story about storks that she's been told, and she's not even four. I'm sending you a new picture of myself with the children. All three of my children, as you can see that the baby is making him or her self quite evident by now. Give my love to Mack, and all my love to you as well baby brother from everyone here. I hope you have the merriest Christmas possible.

Your sister, Anna.

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Dear Tony,

This is it, your Christmas letter from me! It's going to be a lonely Christmas around here without you and Mack, but on the other hand I'm getting spoiled by mom and dad as if I was an only child. So I suppose it's not all bad! I'd trade all that back for you and my big brother to be home though! Mom and Dad invited Anna and the kids over here for Thanksgiving, which was my idea, since I knew that she wouldn't have you or Frank to cook for. We had fun! I really like your sister, Tony. I've gotten to know her a lot better since you've been away, because I spend so much time with her, helping her around the house and taking care of the kids. She says you worry about her being alone in the house with the kids, and with the baby due in just a few months. Well let me tell you that she's doing fine. She worries about you though too, and so do I! Look after yourself, okay? Stay warm and try not to get shot. It's pretty cold here, is it there too? I hate the way snow always turns gray and slushy almost as soon as it gets on the ground. I studied up on Italy some, and saw that most of it is out of the city. Does the snow stay white there for a long time? I think that would be nice to see. Are you in the mountains? I've heard that there's a lot of fighting there, so I think that might be where you are. I'm sure that the mountains are pretty, I'd like to see them someday. Although after the war is over and won.

I have to keep this letter brief, because I'm supposed to be doing my algebra. I sure wish I had Mack here to help me with it, he's good at math but I'm not! I already wrote to him, and I'll send both letters out in the morning. I wish you were both home, and whenever I get a chance to make a wish it's always that you both come home very soon. Keep yourself safe, and Mack too.

With love, Sadie.

December 3, 1944. Cleveland, Ohio.

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January 8, 1945.

Dear Sis,

So much for your good planning. I finally got your Christmas letter today. I got one from Sadie too that she sent a month after yours. Its a miricle we ever get any mail. I hate to break it to you sis but I didnt believe the stork story when I was 4 either. I just remembered I must have been about that age when mom died. Because wasnt she having a baby when she got sick? Now Im going to worry about you even more Anna. Sadie says not to worry about you but I cant help it. Theres so much death here that the thought of anything happening to the people at home makes me half crazy. I hope you had a good Christmas. Ours wasnt bad considering. There was a cease fire with the germans for the day so at least we didnt have to worry much about getting killed. Our Christmas dinner was K rations. Be slow my heart. But some one scrounged some of the rum the brits get in there rations and we had a toast. To home and kicking Nazi ass. Its interesting to hear news of Beth. I hope shes happy. She never was happy at home so may be her own family will do the trick. I didnt remember wanting a horse for Christmas neither did Mack. Hes well as I am except for a touch of frostbite on the end of our fingers and toes and around the nose and ears sometimes. We both wish we were home.

Love, your brother,

Tony.

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January 8, 1945.

Dear Sadie,

Thanks for your letter. I hope you had a good Christmas and got lots from Santa. You asked if were in the mountains and yes we are. Its plenty cold and theres tons of snow. The snow stays white mostly where people havent been walking or shooting or bleeding. I guess its pretty but to tell the truth I dont notice much. Weve been seeing lots of fighting and theres not much pretty about that. Im glad to know that your helping Anna I do worry about her but now I can worry less. Dont worry about me I dont plan on getting killed I plan on coming back to Cleveland as soon as I can though. I was never much good at math either Im glad that I had Mack to help me. I think he likes that stuff. Take care of yourself and dont study to much,

Tony.

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Feb 12, 1945

Happy birthday Sadie!

I hope that you have a happy birthday. Are you having a party. Mack wants to know if there are boys there and whos ass we should kick when we get home. Are you really 15. Thats almost like being grown up for a girl especially. Its been fairly quiet here not as much fighting as before and less artillery. You couldnt believe how much I hate those big guns so Im greatful for the break. Some guys say that weve beat the germans back away from here but Ill believe it when I see it. There now that ive written that theyve started shelling us again. Well Im safe and snug in my foxhole tucked away here with your brother.We spend whole days in here sometimes and sometimes nights. We take shifts of day or night with other fellows in the company. There your always bugging me to tell you what we do and thats your birthday present from me. Mack says to tell you 15 isnt grown up at all but a little girl and stay away from boys.

With love,

Tony.

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Jan 20, 1945

Dear Tony,

I just read the letter you sent to me at Christmas. I know you hate it when I tell you that I'm crying over you, but I can't help myself sometimes. That letter just broke my heart right in two. I wish so much that I could have you back here at home so that I could worry about you doing normal dumb teenager stuff like staying out past curfew and drinking too much and going around with the wrong crowd. I wish that I could give you a hug, and tell you that it will be alright in the morning. The way I used to when you were little and had a bad dream, do you remember? I suppose there's nothing for me to do but try and cheer you up with this letter. Christmas was good, but quiet. It was nice having Frank home, if only for a few days. He hasn't seen me since early in September and says that I've gotten big as a house. I do love that husband of mine, but that didn't stop me from making him sleep on the couch for that. Here's a tip for you baby brother, when you get married and your wife is having a baby, never tell her she's fat. Even if you're joking.

Sadie came over on Christmas morning to help Tommy and Dottie open their presents from Santa. She says that she wrote you a letter for Christmas and sent it in early December, hopefully you got it in time for Christmas. Along with mine. I would think that I sent it in plenty of time, but you never know. Well I don't feel like being very cheerful right now. Sadie's here watching the children, supposedly so I can nap. So I think I'll go and do just that. Know that I'm sending you all my love, and my love to Mack as well, and that I pray that the two of you will be safe home very soon.

Love from your sister,

Anna.

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Feb 25, 1945. Italy

Dear Mr and Mrs Douglas and Sadie,

Id rather be doing just about anything else in the world right now but writing this letter. My buddy Tommy is helping me out with what to say. I guess youve heard by now that Mack was killed the armys usually pretty good about those telegrams. They should be theyve had enough practice. Im sure it must be hard for you to believe that hes really gone I know its hard for me and I was there and saw it. Believe that the bastards that did it are dead too I took care of that. I dont know what more to write this is a hard thing for me to talk about or even think about. I miss him every minute and some times think I would rather have lost one of my own arms or legs that would be easier to get along with out. Plus then I could come home. I want to come home more than ever now but it doesnt look like thats in the cards for a while. Mack was thinking of home the last and wishing he could be with you all. He was a soldier and a fighter and my best friend. I miss all of you and think of you all often especially your good food mom D. Sadie write me often Mack and I always shared our letters and its like getting twice as many now I wont have that.Im sorry,

Tony.

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Jan 26, 1945

Dear Tony,

I can't believe it took so long for my Christmas letter to get to you. And I thought I had outsmarted the mail service. Do you think that they look for my letters and hold them for as long as they can? Yet your letter only took three weeks to get back to me. I'm glad to hear that you and Mack are well and made the best of a Christmas too far from home. I didn't realize that the British gave their soldiers rum in their rations, I hope that you boys didn't drink too much. When you say that somebody "scrounged" the rum, does that mean steal? I hope you don't take part in too much of that, although I suppose compared to some other things you must do there stealing might not seem that bad. Just make sure that you and Mack stay out of trouble. You remembered correctly, you were four when Mom passed, and she was expecting to give us a younger brother or sister. But don't worry about me with this baby, Tony. It was something she already had, and carrying the baby made it worse. I remember with you she spent quite some time in the hospital. I've never had a lick of problem with any of my babies, and am as healthy as a horse with this one too.

Tommy's gone back to school, and he doesn't like it quite so much after Christmas break as he did before I'm afraid. He'd rather stay at home and play with his new toys. Your dog has become far more protective of me as the baby gets closer to coming, I think that she might be wishing for puppies of her own. Do dogs wish for things, do you suppose? She still misses you, I'm convinced, and watches for you when she thinks you should be getting home. I could say that's the devotion of a dumb animal that doesn't know any better, but I admit that sometimes I catch myself almost doing the same. Tell Mack that I enjoyed his letter for Christmas, and I wish he would write to me more often. I miss having him hanging around my kitchen almost as much as I do you. Take care of yourselves, and each other, and both come home safe to us soon.

Love, Anna.

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Feb 27, 1945

Did Macks folks tell you that he was shot up pretty bad and died. Dont think they know how bad he was before he was killed. Dont tell them because they shouldnt know that but it was pretty bad. Whats left of my squad is being moved out of here and some where else with an other group. There are only 4 guys left in my squad now there are should be 12. Tommy and me are the old man the others got here after us. Fightings been hard lately I dont know were the germans were before when they got quite for a time but they must have been sleeping. The letter you sent was before Mack went but got it after it felt bad reading you askd me to tell him things and I cant. miss him pretty bad sis cant wait to get out this hell even if to a place just as bad.

Want to come home Tony.

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Mar 3, 1945, France

Dear Sis,

You'll notice that I'm not in Italy any more. I'm here living the good life at a repo depot behind the lines. At least I should be living the good life, but wouldn't you know your brother had to go and catch the flu. I'm not very sick though, just enough to keep me confined. Not that I'm complaining, really. If I'm going to get sick at least I had the brains to do it when I could enjoy a real bed and real food. A real bed, Sis. You have no idea how wonderful that is. I even got to take a good shower, with warm water. You have to figure there's something wrong when the high point of my year is washing behind my ears! I'm not sure how long we'll be here, but not long I think. Rumors are that we're being sent to Germany. What do you think of that? It's about time. I want this war over as fast as we can, and I figure the best way to do that is take the fight to the Nazis. We met back up with Mike Gillespie here, do you remember me telling you about him? He was wounded some time back and we thought he would be sent home, but no such luck. He's waiting for word any day that his wife has popped. I mean that she's had her baby. I'm sure you love my grammar, don't you Sis? He and Tommy went to Paris on a two day pass, and came back totally hungover. They think they had fun, but don't remember much. It reminded me of when it was the four of us in London when we first got here. I can't believe that was less than a year ago, it seems like ancient history. I still can't get used to Mack being gone, Sis. It's like there's a part of me missing. I just reread what I wrote and I have to tell you, don't get the idea that Mack and I tore up London or anything. I'll deny any hell raising charges.

How are Mack's folks, do you know? I wish Sadie would write to me and let me know how things are going. She probably has and it's wandering around Europe looking for me. I'm realizing that this is probably the longest letter you've gotten from me since I left home. My hand is getting tired from writing, so I'm going to call it a night. Take care of your self Sis, and the kids.

With love,

Tony.

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Feb 24, 1945

Dear Tony,

Oh Tony, Sadie was just here and told me of the telegram they got about Mack. I suppose it's too much to hope that it was a mistake? It seems so hard to believe that he's truly gone. Do you want to hear an awful confession? After Sadie left I sat down and cried, but it wasn't just sadness for Mack's death. It was relief that it wasn't you. Isn't that terrible? But I know that the two of you are usually together and imagine that it would have been easy for the German's aim to be just a little to the right or the left to hit you. Thinking about how close I might have come to losing my baby brother gives me the shakes. I can't imagine how this must be for you, after all, what's Mutt without Jeff? Or was that the other way around?

If I wanted you home before, and I truly did, I want you home even more now. I'm going to go over to the Douglas house later, maybe tomorrow, to see how they are holding out and pay my respects. But with the baby due pretty much any day it's hard for me to get around like I wish I could. I've decided that if this child is a boy, then I'll name him Mack, do you think that his parents would like that? Of course I'll ask them first to make sure they don't mind. And I suppose I should ask Frank as well!

We're beginning to get tiny hints that spring might come this year. That, combined with the baby's coming, and news we're getting that the war is going the Allies way for a change and maybe for good, has been giving everyone here a feeling that things can only look up from here. It may be, that feeling made the news of Mack's death hit even harder. Although I can't imagine that news ever being easy to take. I have nightmares Tony that I get telegrams about you and Frank. Even though he's in the States, and not in combat, accidents still happen. Mostly I worry about you though. I'm praying that you stay safe, and come home to us soon.

I love you. Love from your sister,

Anna.

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Mar 9, 1945, Germany

Dear Sis,

The rumors were right for a change and here we are in Germany. Near as I can see, its not much different from Italy so far. Lots of mountains and lots of guns. The only difference being that most everyone here is german. Theres plenty of talk about if all germans are nazis or only the army, but I havent met any to be able to tell. Im still sick although I wasnt bad enough to keep me from shipping with the others. Most of us are sick. Lots of coughing and sneezing you just try and keep it quiet to keep the krauts from hearing. Theyre sick too though, you hear them weezing and snuffling and it makes it easy to sight in on them. Mikes wife had a boy, we heard just before we left france. Thats two boys for Mike now his oldest boy was just starting to walk when we left the states. He sure wishes he could go home to see him, but wife promised a picture soon. Have you had yours yet, Sis? I'm waiting for word. Some of the new guys we're with are fresh meat, direct from the states. I cant believe how young they seem, like kids. Surprised the hell out of me when I asked one how old he is. He's 19, older than me! Of course on our way out here we amused ourselves by telling them our worst combat stories and scaring the pants off them. Oh, dont look that way, Sis. Its the same as the old guys did to us when we were rookies. Strange its still automatic for me to say we, meaning me and Mack. I guess one of these days Ill get used to it being just me. You wrote in your letter that you were thinking that at least it wasnt me that got killed. Dont feel bad about that, Sis. Ive felt that way plenty of times, not just about Mack. He saved my life Sis, and was my best friend in the world, but if I had to chose between us Im glad Im still breathing. There, does that make me an awful person for thinking that way? It probably does. Has little baby Mack shown up yet? I think that was a swell idea you had, naming a boy after him. I bet his folks liked it. How are Macks folks? Okay I hope.

Take care of yourself and give my love to your little family.

Tony.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Dear Tony,

I don't seem to be able to stop crying! We got the telegram from the War Dept.the day before I got my birthday letters from you and Mack. Just writing his name now made me start crying again. He seems so alive in the letters, I could almost imagine I could hear him interrupting you while you were writing! You must be so sad to be over there all alone now. I wish I could give you a hug to make you feel better. Mostly what I want though is my brother back! I don't want you to feel bad because I always told you to keep my brother safe, I told him the same thing about you. I don't blame you for not being able to or anything, I'm sure you tried! I want to tell you something Tony, that I want you to know. I love you. I don't mean like a brother or anything either. This might be the wrong time to say it, but I wanted to make sure you know whatever happens or wherever you are that it's really true. Don't tell me not to either. You don't have to love me back or anything, but I'm not going to stop. I don't know what to say after that! I think I'm having hysterics, I'm crying and giggling at the same time. Any minute somebody will come in here and slap me! Mom had hysterics when we got that telegram. The doctor had to come and give her a drug to make her sleep, and she stayed in bed for 2 days after. She's up now though, she's spending lots of time with your sister. Anna is huge, but don't tell her I said that! Did Anna tell you that if she has a boy she's going to call him "Mack"? Mom cried when she heard that. Of course, everyone but her is sure that she's having a girl, but the thought is a good one and very sweet! People at school are all being so nice to me because of Mack. I want to scream at them to stop! It's not like they're being a normal nice, they're treating me like they think I might break. None of my friends know what to say. When Mary Davis' brother was killed in November she had a complete breakdown in front of almost the whole school. Maybe they think I'll do that! Not likely! Do you remember him? Pete? He was sent to the Pacific, and his ship was torpedoed. He was the same age you are but a year behind you in school. He skipped his senior year to join the Navy. It's terrible, Tony, I'm only 15, I'm not supposed to know people who are dead! Especially one of them's not supposed to be my brother! It makes a person think that you never know what's going to happen. You can't guarantee that everyone's going to wake up tomorrow. That's why I told you what I did Tony! About how I feel. Because I want to make sure you know just in case anything happens to either of us. I'm sending you a copy of my picture that they took at school. I know it's silly of me, but I like the idea of you carrying my picture with you. I don't expect that you will ever think of me as "your girl" or anything (though I can dream), but maybe you could at least keep it so you know that someone is thinking of you and caring about you staying safe. I mean except your sister and family, of course! They care about you, you know that! But maybe it can make you feel less lonely way over in Italy all alone. Stay safe, Tony, I don't think I could bear it if something happened to you too.

Love, Sadie.

March 1, 1945. Cleveland, Ohio.

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Mar 20, 1945. Germany

Dear Sadie,

Thanks for the picture Im looking at it right now. I keep it in my helmet next to my picture of Rita Hayworth. How do you like that. Some of the others might give me hell about having the picture of a kid but I just tell them well shes the kid sister of my best friend who was killed and theyll let me alone mostly. Im glad that you wrote me because I was wondering how you and your folks were holding out. I wont tell you not to feel that way about me Sadie because you wouldnt listen anyway. But I will say I dont think theres much about me worth loving these days. Im not the person you think I am who I was when I left home because of some of the things Ive done here. Can you believe that president Roosevelt died. Its probably old news to you but we just found out. I thought sure hed out live all of us. Its like what you said about never knowing whos going to be here in the next minute. Ive learned that lesson well and Ive learned to do what I have to to try and make it me whos still here. Ill come home Sadie but Im not going to say that Im coming home to you because you might not want that as much as you think you do. Mack used to say that you had a crush on me and I thought that with me being gone that it would go away but I guess not. I guess I said that I wasnt going to tell you not to Sadie but I am going to tell you. Dont let yourself think you love me because im not a very nice person. Do you know if Anna had that baby yet its killing me not to know I want to know. I played basketball with Pete davis in middle school I never was much good at basketball. I didnt know he quit school though or was in the navy. Thats too bad. Im still going to keep your picture because its nice knowing that folks care about me back home but please dont make me something Im not.

Your friend, Tony.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Dear Tony,

Thank you for your letter about Mack, it meant a great deal to his mother and I. You're right that it is hard to believe, but I can imagine that the immediacy of his death hits you much harder there than it does us at the moment.

I want to tell you that we've always thought of you as being virtually another son to us. I know that Sarah feels that way, and has especially since you lost your own mother. I know what battle is like, having seen it myself in the last war, and I know that it's easy to forget that there are people at home who are thinking of you and wishing you safe. Sarah wants me to tell you that when you came home you have to come over for supper right away and she'll prepare all your favorite foods. She wants me to mention especially pumpkin pie, even if it's not the right time of year, she says, because she knows how much you love it.

I have to say something else to you now, Tony, and I feel I can talk to you about it man to man. I was not aware that Sadie had been writing to you as often as she apparently has. She's still very young, as I'm sure you're aware, and has taken her brother's death very hard. She saves all your letters and talks about you constantly, and I'm afraid that she may be setting herself up for hurt. I know you would never hurt her intentionally, but I wanted to make you aware, and to remind you again that she's very young. Take care of yourself, son, and know that we're all praying for your safe return.

Sincerely,

Charles Douglas.

March 9, 1945

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Mar 13, 1945

Dear Uncle Tony,

Your new niece is finally here. It seemed that everyone but me knew I was having a girl. No little Mack this time, but we named her Susan Antonia. That's right, she gets her middle name from her Uncle Tony. Of course, she's already picked up a nickname and she's not even home yet. Everyone calls her "Sissy" so when you get home there will be two of us "Sisses" in the family. She and I will be in the hospital for the next few days of course, so the older children are staying with the Douglas's. I think that's good, I'm sure that Sarah Douglas is enjoying having children to fuss over as it gives her something to do. Sadie is very taken with little Sissy, and thinks she looks like you. She certainly does take after our side of the family more than Frank's. I finally had a baby who's not a towhead like their Daddy! She has very dark hair for a little baby, but her eyes are light and I think they might turn out to be green. Maybe Sadie's right after all and she does look like you. She has Frank's chin though. I'll send you a picture in the next few weeks. I just received your letter of Feb 27 and I have to say that it concerned me. I know that you're upset about Mack's death (You said that he was badly hurt before he died? How awful, and how awful for you to have to see that.) but the letter was barely legible. That's shocking about there being only four men left in your squad. Hopefully they will send you to a place where the fighting is not so fierce. You've been in the thick of it for months baby brother, surely you deserve a break. The best thing, of course, would be for the war to end and for them to just send you home. We're beginning to get news for the first time in months that truly makes me believe that this damned war might actually come to an end one day. That's right, Tony. Your big sister just swore. That's how sick I am of the war dragging on and on, and having to worry about you and miss Frank and watch people crying over far too many good young men. Oh now I'm crying. I know you hate it when I cry, but I seem to be nothing but tears these days. I promised myself that I'd be cheerful in this letter, so I'm going to end it before I start wallowing in misery. Here's hoping that this letter finds you safe, baby brother, and in a better frame of mind than you were before.

Love from your sister, Anna.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Dear Tony,

Well this is it, Anna finally decided to have her baby! She's in the hospital as I write this, and we're waiting for word on how things went. She's still certain that she's having a boy but everyone else who knows about babies is sure it's a girl. You'd think there would be a sure way to tell, but there isn't. It's so exciting! I was too young to pay much attention when Dottie was born, even though I was 11. I'm very curious about it now though. Mom says too curious. I know how kittens are born, I suppose that human babies are born the same way. But it has to be different in a hospital, with doctors and nurses, right? I'm thinking of how they say babies get made, Tony, with a husband and a wife, and I'm blushing. Is that really where babies start? I'm embarrassed asking you, especially after what I wrote in my last letter! But nobody else will tell me! Anna said to ask my mom, and mom said she'd tell me when I'm older. How much older? I'm 15, I think they forget that sometimes and think I'm still a kid. Beth was 16 when she got married and started her baby. Oh gosh, now I'm thinking of you and her, and what if you'd gotten married and. I am blushing so hard!

If I ever have the corage to send this, I will be amazed. We're looking after Dottie and Tommy (I wrote that because everyone always says "T and D" and I remember that I used to hate always coming second after Mack. I wouldn't mind now though. I miss him so much!) They're both sleeping in my bed, and I'm using Mack's old room. All his stuff is still there, and I get so sad when I go in there! I think some of the things in there are yours too. Sometimes I remember all the times you stayed at our house, and you slept in that room, maybe in the bed, and it makes me feel closer to you. (now I'm blushing again!) I've stopped crying at every little thing that makes me think of Mack though. Which is everything! Mom hasn't though, she cries all the time still. Dottie is really sweet to her! Patting her hand and saying "don't be sad" but I don't think she understands. Tommy loves to play "soldier" all the time, he's always shooting at things with his little toy gun. When you ask him what he's doing he says "helping Uncle Tony save Uncle Mack" He might be too young to understand what "dead" really means too. That's what Dad says. We got your letter, thank you. I know that mom and dad liked getting it. Even if it did make mom cry again and dad look all mad. Don't worry, Tony! He wasn't mad at you! He just looks like that when he gets sad.

I should go and help mom with the kids now, and see if there's any more news on Anna. Then I'll mail this letter before I lose my nerve! I couldn't believe it when I mailed you the last one! After, I tried to get it back out of the mailbox, but I couldn't. I don't take back what I said though! I meant it! Look after yourself, and come home (to me? I wish!) soon.

Love, Sadie.

March 10, 1945. Cleveland, Ohio.

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April 2, 1945. Germany.

Dear Sis,

Its about time you had that little kid. I would have liked a baby Mack but that would been a funny name for a girl so Sissy is a good one. I think the mail is getting faster what do you think. Were fighting our way through germany in our own blitzgreeg very fast. The combat is still fierce but we move pretty fast instead of staying in the same place heading towards berlin. You hear stories about things nazis do and some of them are too awful to be true you just cant believe them. But the nazis are pretty nasty guys so who knows whats real. The germans all love us except the soldiers. Especially the girls. The fraulins. I never took german in school but I think thats how you spell it. Were not supposed to fraternise with them but plenty of fellows do plenty of fraternising. The german civilians dont think much of the nazi army because theyve had it hard too. It looks like spring is coming here finally and maybe the end of the war too. The krauts are fighting extra hard maybe knowing that theyre going to lose if they dont. I could almost feel for them theyre just guys like us you know. But then I think of Mack and all my buddys who they killed and I get mad all over and dont feel sorry any more. I got 3 letters today from you and Sadie and also from Macks dad. That was nice. I dont remember what I wrote you in the letter you got I shouldnt have sent it probably. I didnt mean to worry you but I was pretty bad for a while there and almost broke up. Im doing better now though so dont worry okay Sis. I want to write back to Sadie while I have time too so im going to go. Can you believe that her dad wrote me saying dont hurt Sadie. Shes a kid who has a dumb crush and thats all I told her already.

Love to all of you especially my new niece,

Tony.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

April 2, 1945 Germany

Dear Sadie, Dont touch my stuff brat. I had to say that because you said your staying in Macks room and thats what he would say. I guess you didnt listen in my last letter when I said dont think of me that way well I didnt think you would but you should. Even your dad noticed Sadie and told me that youre a kid. As if I didnt know that. Thanks though for writing about Anna I like getting your letters Sadie about home I just dont want to hurt you. Anna wrote me and said she had a girl and that your taken with her. I guess its true that girls like babies but they are pretty cute. You have the right idea about where babies come from. Is your mom still feeding you the line about the stork thats not true you know. I have a pretty good idea about how babies come because I saw a lady having one when I was in Italy before the doc chased us away from where she was but I sure hope its different in a hospital she was pretty bad off but had no doctor only GI medics. But the baby and the mom both were okay in the end. Beth knew before she was 15 because of her older sister getting married. She had to get married because she was having a baby already but dont tell anyone I told you that. You should see when we go into a german village or town Sadie. The germans except the army think that GIs are just the best. They call us Yankees. Can you imagine me being happy about being called a Yankee. Did spring training start already I miss baseball. I dont have much time to play over here believe that. Tell your mom and dad thanks for the letter and tell your mom Im dreaming about her pumpkin pie.

With love from your friend,

Tony.

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March 22, 1945. Cleveland, Ohio.

Dear Tony,

I bet I'm the last person you expected to hear from, aren't I? But I went to visit Anna, and see that precious little niece of yours, and she told me about Mack. I can't believe that I hadn't heard! I know I've been wrapped up in my own little life, but it made me feel so selfish. So I decided that I had to write to you and tell you how very sorry I am. I always liked Mack, even if I was jealous sometimes because it felt like you'd rather spend time with him than me.

Anyway, I went to see little Sissy, she's precious. She has your nose, Tony, did you know that? I suppose she gets it from Anna, but it reminds me of yours. I almost can't believe that I'm going to have my own baby before very much longer. I feel strange writing that to you, because we both know how easily it could have been your baby I had. It's not though, I'm sure of that. I would have told you if it was. I hope you believe that. I don't think you know my husband, he was my supervisor when I was working at the shipyards over the summer, and he was such a comfort to me when I was feeling alone. That's all the news I have to write. But I wanted to write to you and tell you how sorry I was to hear about Mack. I hope that you are well.

love, Beth.

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March 25, 1945

Dear Tony,

I hope that you're feeling better and are over the 'flu. How strange to think that you're in Germany, although no stranger than in Italy, I suppose. I seem to have no free time since the baby arrived, so it's very rare that I can sit down to write you a long letter like you're used to. I was relieved to see in your last two letters that you seem to be in a better state of mind. I was really scared for you Tony, and I don't mind saying so. A change of scenery, and a short break from the front, seemed to make quite a difference. It sounds like you've grown up a lot since you left, baby brother, thinking that a nineteen year old looked young. Nineteen seems young to an old lady of twenty-five. But then, I was married at nineteen wasn't I? I wish I could see you, to see how you've changed over the past months. Of course, I'd like to see you just to have you here safe at home. I'm sending you a picture of the children, not one of me this time. But that's the new baby. Her eyes aren't turning green, as I had thought they might, but seem to be staying a grayish blue. You might be able to tell that we had a hard time keeping Tommy still for this picture. He's all boy, and apart from his blond hair reminds me a lot of you at that age. He keeps asking me when you're coming home. I wish I knew what to tell him. Dottie is fascinated with Sissy, and I often catch her in the nursery when she's supposed to be napping herself. Tell your friend Mike congratulations on the birth of his son. Frank finally managed to get a pass long enough to make it all the way home to see Sissy. He spent two days traveling here, the afternoon with me and the children, and two days traveling back. You'd think, with the war going so well, that they'd be able to give their instructors a few days off to see a new baby. But that's the Army, I suppose.

Well, I hear the baby starting to fuss, and I suspect that Dottie is poking her or causing some mischief, as she usually sleeps through the afternoon quite well. Take care of yourself, baby brother, stay safe, and come home to us soon.

Your loving sister, Anna.

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Dear Tony,

Happy April Fools Day! You probably think it's right getting a letter sent by me today, don't you? My picture is next to Rita Heyworth's? See, no matter what you say, that tells me the truth! At least I like to think so! I can imagine that I'm next to Rita in your heart as well. I know, Tony, that you'd give up all the rest of us for her! I don't care what you say, Tony, I certainly do think you're worth loving! Not just because of how I remember you before you left. But also because of the letters you've sent to me. You might not be exactly the same boy you were when you and Mack went to the Army, but I think the boy you are now is just as nice. I've changed too, we all have. But I guess that we'll just have to get to know each other again when you come home. You're right about President Roosevelt's death being a shock. Even more than Mack's in some ways, although they happened so close together that they seem linked in my mind. Did you know that he'd been President for my whole life?!

(FDR, not Mack!)

I noticed in your last letter that you're in Germany now, not Italy. When did that happen? We'd heard that the G.I.'s were in Germany, but I didn't know you were one of them! It's strange to think that when I see news reels at the theater, or hear things on the radio, that the news is about you. You'd think I would have realized before now that it was, but I didn't. Is everyone in Germany a Nazi?

I've been spending so much time at your house that Anna is probably getting tired of me! But that baby is just too precious to leave alone! Beth was there one day when I was there. She's having a baby, as you might know, and is fat! Anna says she's not, it's just the baby, but I like to think it's fat. I'm sorry Tony, but I don't like her. I met her husband too, he's boring and nowhere near as handsome as you are. I don't know what she was thinking marrying him instead of you! But I guess I'm glad she did, because that gives me a shot! I know, you're going to tell me that any chance I have at you is all in my head, and to give up my silly girl dreams. But since I know you're going to say it, you can go ahead and save the ink and paper by not saying it. I know the truth, that you have my picture in your helmet. That's where G.I.'s carry their pictures of their wives and girlfriends, I know that. I'm sorry, Tony. But let me have my little flight of fantasy at least for now! I'm just so thrilled by that news, it makes me feel all tingly inside! Like I have butterflies in my tummy. I carry your picture in my school folder, and if anybody doesn't know who you are and asks, I lead them to believe that you're my guy. Do you know the picture I mean? The one taken by the Army when you first enlisted. You look so handsome in your uniform! I'm sure you must have girls tell you that all the time! Only, I don't like the idea of girls talking to you like that. It makes me jealous! Take care of yourself, and come home safely. I'm always thinking of you.

Love, Sadie

April 1, 1945. Cleveland, Ohio.

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April 19, 1945. Germany.

Dear Sadie,

Knock it off. I like getting letters from you Sadie because youre a good friend and a swell kid and make me think of home but I dont want to read about you fawn all over me. If your going to write me letters tell me news about home and things Im interested hearing but if you just write me mush then Ill stop answering your letters and I hate that because letters are sure nice when a guy is homesick. I cant tell you not to keep your crush on me Sadie but I think its a bad idea. Do you think you could care about some one who doesnt care about anything but getting home and not care if they just shot some one dead because thats who I am. Youre a good person Sadie and deserve better than me. So stop thinking about me go and find a boy friend who will be nice that would make me happy knowing that Macks little sister is happy. Beth wrote me saying that she hadnt heard about Mack and how she was sorry so I knew she saw Anna. I have a hard time thinking of her fat with a baby because she always was so cute looking. I dont know what to think of you saying her husband is not much and boring I think that maybe I should be jealous that she picked him and not me but really dont care any more. She told me that she worked with him I guess she was carrying on with him before she wrote to tell me. I think that wasnt right of her but its her life anyway. Not all the germans are nazi only the army. The civilians tell us that they love the USA and hate all the nazis but then they probaly tell the nazis the other way around. They sure are good to us though the woman in germany would make you very jelous Sadie. I dont know how handsome I am in my combat gear and always dirty so it wont even come clean unless you boil it but they act like it. Then they act like my buddy Tommy is a looker to and hes skinny and red haired and his ears stick out Id say he has freckles to but so do I so I cant count that against him. They would have thought something of Mack girls always did but he was to shy to do anything about it. I should go now Sadie this is a long letter and write to Anna who I got a letter from to. Write to me again and dont be to mad about me getting mad I think youre a nice kid really and like to hear from you.

Your friend,

Tony.

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April 20, 1945

Dear Sis,

I wanted to write to you yesterday when I got your last letter but didnt get a chance to do it. Did you hear the news Sis their saying that Hitler is dead can you believe it. Then other stories say hes not and the nazis are still fighting pretty hard believe that. I have some news thats not as bad as it sounds like but may be you should sit down before you read it. I was shot but its not that bad. The bullet didnt even stick but just cut through my leg by the edge a couple of stitches and I was good as new. I didnt even get taken out of the combat area unfortunatly but spent the night in the medic area and was back with my buddys by morning. It hurt like any thing for a while but I dont even notice it now except when I bump my leg against some thing. Id like to tell Mike what you said about his baby but I cant because he was with a couple of other guys when there jeep flipped over on them the good thing at least it was fast. That is always a hard thing when a fellow gets killed and you know that he has kids at home.

I dont mind if your letters arent long but keep sending them. Its nice to get mail but when you dont you wonder why and start missing home something fierce. I like to hear news of the kids especially the baby. Thankyou for the picture the kids sure have grown tons Id like to see a picture of you to though sis. If you saw a picture of me here you probally wouldnt know who I was even. Dont worry much if Tommy is like me maybe hell grow up better. You say that Dottie likes to bug the baby but isnt that what big sisters are for. Im just teasing you Sis youre the best big sister some one could have. I would like to come home and see all of you so much I miss you. Maybe we can come home soon and I can play baseball this year Id really like that. It seems like forever since Ive had a chance to play and I miss it as much as anything in the states especially now that spring is here and the weather is good for it. Tell Frank when you see him that I ran into an air corp gunner that went through his classes he was in a POW camp that we helped chase the krauts off. Well I should go take care of yourself and your kids.

Love from,

Tony.

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April 24, 1945. Germany.

Dear Anna,

I cant even write to you the things Ive seen yesterday the thought of it makes me sick. Youve heard probably stories about things nazis have done in germany to fellow germans well the truth is as bad as the stories you here. We got sent to one of those camps to libarate it and I thought Id seen everything and nothing could be worse than Ive already seen but I think I was wrong. The people there were half starving and lots of them were dead already more people than I think Ive seen in the whole war kids and women too. Lots of guys were sick and these are combat soldiers who have seen everything and killed plenty of people themself. Seeing things like that makes me think that this war was maybe a good thing even as awful as fighting is and all my buddies Ive lost. If Hitler wasnt dead Id kill him again. But he is and thats a good thing and people keep saying maybe well come home soon I hope so. Other rumors are that were being sent to the Pacific when we leave here to fight the Japs. I dont want to I want to go home but Ill help those guys in the Pacific Im sure they want to go home to.

You wouldnt believe but I think all the fight has gone out of the krauts. They dont fight anymore but when they see you put up their hands and say dont shoot yankee dont shoot. I dont mind I dont want to shoot people anymore Sis except yesterday I felt like it. Today I managed to get sent away from that camp on a patrol everything is so quiet now after how it has been its really nice. Patrolling is not much more than going around in the country looking at the scenery and rounding up stray krauts. So don't worry about me Sis. I know probaly after I wrote you I was shot youve been fretting non stop. Well now you can stop Im really fine and dont even have stitches any more but where they were itches some.Love from your brother, wishing he was home,

Tony.

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May 1, 1945. Germany.

Dear Sis,

It looks like this war is all over but the shouting, as they say. It's the bottom of the ninth and the home team knows they've lost. The soldiers are surrendering all over the place. Litterally coming out of the ditches to give them selves up. A couple of days ago when Chris Johansen and I were on patrol (yep, just the two of us, that's how quiet it is) a whole huge group of Germans surrendered to us. More than 30 of them all together. We marched them back to HQ, and gave them food and smokes which they didn't have, and appreciated for sure. Now all the other fellows are joshing us and saying we're heros and will probably get medals. I did get my purple heart medal that they give you for being wounded in combat. I felt pretty silly taking it, as I was barely scratched. I'm going to have a couple of little scars, where the bullet went in and where it came out, but compared to most guys I got off so easy I feel like I cheated.

Some of us got together and put together a couple of ball teams, and so I've been playing again. It's so wonderful, it's like the first whole breath you can take after you get the wind knocked out of you. The best feeling in the world, practically. I can't even explain it in words, but you know how much I love to play ball Sis, more than anything, so you can imagine how I feel. I can't imagine that in the bad days of this winter, when the fighting was so hard, that I would have been willing to give up baseball just to come home. My wish is that Mack could have made it through, and be here with me now. I still miss him Sis, but the bad thing is that I don't look for him any more. Well, I don't know if that's really a bad thing, because it would hurt bad when I remembered he was gone, but the bad thing is that I'm used to him being gone. I keep thinking of home, and wondering what it will be like now. So many things have changed, Mack won't be there, or Beth. It sounds like Sadie is all grown up, and believe that she's much bolder about saying what she thinks than Mack ever was! The kids have grown, I'm sure, and will they be the little babies I remember them? You have the new baby too. How is she doing, by the way? I've noticed that you haven't mentioned my dog in your last few letters. I hope she's okay. If some thing bad happened to my Sally-gal, tell me now, because I don't think I could bear to find out when I get there. The thing is that, as bad as it's been over here some times, I'm used to it. Listen to me, a person could get the idea that I don't want to come home. Nothing could be further from the truth, sis, believe that! This is another one of those long letters that makes my hand hurt, so I'm going to call it good. Write to me soon, and send my love to your self and your family.

Love,

Tony.

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May 9, 1945

Dear Sis!

Can you believe it! The Nazis gave up, and the war here is really over! Hopefully we'll be coming home soon! I feel like I'm imitating Sadie with all these exclaimation marks, but this news sure earns them! !!!!!!!!! We had some kind of a party here last night, and most of the guys were pretty sick this morning because every one drank too much. Not me, of course. (I'm wondering if you really believe that, Sis. Your brother is an angel, didn't you know?) We still don't know when we'll be sent home, or even if we're going to be sent to the Pacific, the news changes from minute to minute. Hopefully they don't keep us here for too long! Although, I forget, this is the Army, and why would they do anything to make their GI's that just won the war for them happy? I can't help thinking about all the good guys that I've known that didn't live to hear this news, including Mack. But right now I want to celebrate. I'm sure those fellows would be partying just as hard as we are though if they knew, so I don't feel bad about that.

We're supposed to be playing a ball game this afternoon, that was set before we got the news, and hopefully we can find enough guys who can stand upright for nine whole innings! Don't think bad of us for cutting lose like we did, Sis,but we deserve to blow off steam don't you think? I can hear more yelling outside now (did I tell you that we've been living in real houses here?) and I want to go out and see what sorts of things are happening now. Or tell them to keep it down for the sake of my head! (Gave myself away there, didn't I? Maybe I'm not the angel I'd like you to think!)

Love from your very, very, very happy "baby" brother,

Tony.

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Dear Tony,

I about had a heart attack when you called me a brat in your last letter, but you're right, that's exactly what Mack would say. I miss him so much, but now sometimes remembering him makes me smile even when I'm sad. What you wrote did that Tony, it made me smile to remember my big brother. Of course, letters from you always make me smile! Even when you're mean to me! I'm just teasing Tony! I don't think you're mean at all, but you don't understand who I am or how I feel about you. Do you still keep my picture with you? My friends all thought that was the most when I told them! I didn't tell them I have to share you with Rita though! She's married anyway Tony, and has a baby so I don't need to worry about her stealing you from me. Only those German girls! They call you a Yankee? You should tell them that no you're not, you're an Indian! Of course the Yankees do usually win the world Series, except last year, so maybe G.I.'s are more like the Yankees! Spring training did start. You should be with them, Tony! I still have your picture, of course. I put it next to my bed and the last thing I see before I turn off my light is you smiling at me. Then I wish SO hard that you were back home safe. Sometimes I fall asleep holding your picture and I dream that you are home. I admit, Tony, that when I remember some of those dreams in the morning it makes me blush! (I'm blushing just writing that! But while I'm already embaressed I'm going to say that I wonder what it would feel like to kiss you. And I think about that even when I'm awake!) Do you think that you'll come home soon? We hear all kinds of stories that makes us think that the war will be over before you know it. In Europe, anyway, I hope they don't send you to Japan to fight. Of course, I've made everyone at school practically think I'm your girl, so if you come home and say I never was I'll feel pretty silly! But it would be worth it just to see you again! I didn't know that about Beth's sister having to get married! I can see why they wouldn't want anybody to know! But I never thought before about that people might do "that" when they're not married already or at least planning to! Now I'm blushing again, that seems to be all I do lately. I'm blushing even more, because I'm wondering about you and Beth. No, Tony! If you did, don't tell me! I'm too jealous! My mom's teaching me to cook. I want her to teach me her pumpkin pie recipe that you love although it's hard to do with rations because you don't have everything you need, and nothing to waste by messing it up. But anyway, maybe when you come home I can cook for you! Don't look so scared, I'm not that bad! I have to go now, I hear my dad calling me downstairs for something. I can't believe he wrote to you about me! How embarasing (I don't know how to spell that word!). Take care of yourself, and come home safely soon.

Love, Sadie.

April 21, 1945. Cleveland, Ohio.

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April 20, 1945

Dear Tony,

I'm going to have to make this a short letter, but I know you like to get letters and thought you would appreciate even a short one. You do sound a lot better now that you're in Germany. You say the fighting is "fierce" but it doesn't seem to be affecting you as badly as it was earlier in the year. Maybe it was the shock of Mack's death that affected you so badly, I can certainly understand that.

We're hearing all sorts of conflicting reports coming out of Europe, and Germany, and I don't know what to believe most days. Is Hitler really dead? I've heard that, but there also have been seemingly reliable reports that he escaped and is in hiding. Whichever it is, hopefully the war will end quickly and I can have my baby brother home soon. Sadie hopes so too. I don't know what you've been writing to her, baby brother, as your tone in the letter to me made it clear that you don't return her affections, but whenever she gets a letter from you she lights up like you wouldn't believe. I'm not surprised that her dad noticed, and I'm also not surprised that he wrote to you. He's trying to protect his baby girl, don't take it personally he'd probably do the same with any young man she seemed interested in. Sissy is doing well, and growing faster than even I can believe. I've finally convinced Dottie to stay away from her when she's sleeping, and most days she remembers. Well, Dottie is still small enough that I can easily swat her on her bottom, and it's a good thing too, as "wait until your father gets home" lacks a certain something when Frank's been living in Texas for the past two years, and who knows when he'll be here next. I've had to take a belt to Tommy's behind a time or two, and I don't know who it's harder on, him or me. There, the baby's waking up, as I expected her to. I told you that this would be a quick letter but she gave me more time than I had feared. I'll write to you again at the next opportunity (I'm alternating, when I have a free moment I write to you and the next time I write to Frank.)

Take care of yourself, Tony.

Love, Anna.

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May 12, 1945.

Dear Sadie,

Hey kid! I hope you're not mad at me after my last letter. I'm just a regular guy, and not as good as most, and the way you were fussing over me was silly. We should be coming home soon, I hope. At least that's the way it sounds. Believe that if you'd been here when I heard about the Nazis surrendering you could stop wondering what it's like to kiss me. Because I would have laid one on you for sure! Did I make you blush, Sadie? I was trying to. Don't take too much heart in that though, I was so happy I damn near kissed my buddy that I was standing next to. And I don't think he would have taken it as well as you would.

I'm glad that thinking of Mack can make you smile some times, I still can't. But then, I'm only just now used to not having him around all the time. I feel like he was as much a brother to me as he was to you, and I'll always miss him. I guess that even if I'm not the guy you think I am, or want me to be, Sadie, we'll always have a brother in common. Do you ever feel bad when you find yourself laughing or enjoying yourself, because he can't? I do some times. How's school? You should be just about done for the year, shouldn't you? I remember that I graduated last year around the 15th of May. Can you believe that I've been in the Army for a year? Some times it seems like five minutes, and other times it seems like for ever. Some of the others and I have made up a few ball teams, so I'm playing, even if it's not for the Indians yet. It's true that the Yankees usually win the series, but that doesn't change the fact that they're the Yankees. If you're playing for them, then you can't have the joy of beating them.

I have to go now. We're still patrolling or pulling guard duty regularly, although it's mostly to keep rowdy GIs from causing too much trouble these days. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Take care of yourself.

Love, your friend,

Tony.

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May 8, 1945

Dear Tony,

I don't really have time to write a letter, but I just had to drop you a note of celebration! Any word on when you'll be home? The streets are really hopping here, and I imagine that you boys over there are celebrating just as much - if not more - as the rest of us. When I said this was just going to be a quick note, I wasn't joking. I'll have to cut it short now. I'll write a proper letter in a day or two. Here's hoping you're home before we know it. (could I hope that you're home before this letter gets to you?)

Love, Anna.

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April 3

Darling Tony,

I know that I should have written this letter to you before now, please don't think you haven't been in my mind. I think it's taken me this long to finally realize that my baby boy is gone. Tony, it's a comfort to me to know that you were with him at the end, as I know the two of you were inseparable in life. I would like to thank you for being such a true friend to Mack, and a blessing to our whole family. I know that your life hasn't always been the easiest, but I hope we've given as much to you as you have to us. I want to make sure you know that when you come home you will be as welcome in our house as ever you were.

Your letters to Sadie have been welcomed. She thinks a great deal of you, as you undoubtedly are aware. She sometimes lets me read your letters, although there are a few she wishes to keep to herself. You probably think of her as a child, but Sadie has grown up a great deal in the past year and is becoming a young woman. She seems convinced that the two of you are destined" for one another. Tony, don't worry if you don't feel the same way. I remember when I was sixteen, I was certain that I was "destined" for the captain of the 'varsity football team. Now I can barely remember his name. Your little niece has been a blessing to our two families. Reminding us that in the middle of war and death, life continues. Sadie and I spend a good deal of time with Anna and her children, so even though we miss having you and Mack trooping in and out of both houses we still see a great deal of each other. I pray that you remain safe, and bring yourself safely home to us.

With all my love,

"Mom"

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May 11, 1945

Dear Tony,

Shot!? Oh good heavens. I felt faint when I read that. I've gone through the entire war without hearing that news, and I could happily have gone through my entire life. I suppose that we should be thankful you weren't seriously hurt. I can't get past the idea that you were shot, though. My poor little baby brother. I'm sure you were much braver when it happened than I was on getting the news.

My heart goes out to the poor wife of your friend Mike. To go through almost the entire war with her husband safe and to lose him in a senseless accident so close to the end. Then to be left with two tiny children. That poor woman. Any news yet on when you will be sent home? I hope they don't send you to the Pacific, as you suggested they might. I've gotten used to the idea that you're safe, and I don't want to have to accustom myself to having you in dangers way yet again.

You said that you didn't mind short letters, and I certainly hope that's true because the last two I've sent have certainly been that. But I just don't have the time to spare writing anything longer. You have no idea how much time raising three children on your own really takes. Hoping to see you any day,

Anna.

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June 2, 1945. England.

Dear Anna,

Yes, you read that right, I'm in England. Preparing to ship back to the States. There's an air here of almost being at home. Or of being almost home! The Brits treat us like we were their own returning sons, although I'm sure they must be getting tired of us by now and as ready as we are to get us all loaded on the ships home. I keep repeating that word. Home. Home. Home. It sounds good! I'm not sure when I can come all the way back home to Cleveland, because the Army still hasn't decided what to do with us, whether to send us over to finish off the Japs, or just turn us loose. But for now, it's enough to know that I'll be seeing the Statue of Liberty again in just a few weeks. Some how, I think the sight will mean more this time that when we left. I just wish that Mack was with me to see her. There were 4 of us together when we left NY, and returning it will be just me. Mack and Mike are both dead, and Tommy was sent home wounded. I may visit Mike's wife, or I guess I should say widow, when I'm in NY, if I have time.

I'll let you know, when I find out, where I'm going from here. I can't wait to see that little Sissy, Sis. All the rest of you too, of course! Tell Mom D that I can almost taste her pumpkin pie already. See you soon.

With love,

Tony.

END

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