I Got A Brand New Pair Of Handcuffs by Ursula

I Got A Brand New Pair Of Handcuffs

by Ursula

Disclaimer: Brand New Key Original lyrics by Melanie

Author's Notes: Filk, As sung by Mulder to Alex

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When we first met I ditched you,
even though you had the only clue
You brought me my coffee
You brought me my tea.
But what really made me pleased
Was the way your ass squeezed
So tightly around my cock,
Sexual release on the bureau time clock
Oh! I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key

I rode my Bu-car past your window last night.
I teleported to your door at daylight.
It almost seems like you're avoiding me.
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need.
Well, I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key.
I think that we should get together and try them out, you see.
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me.
Oh! I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key

I get abducted, I ride my bu-car,
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
I been all around the world
My expense report is a joy
some people say, I done all right for a boy.
Well, I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see

You used to bring me presents all the time.
Tunguska rocks and the corpse from your latest crime.
Now you won't let me touch you,
I'm feeling quite blue.
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key

I asked your partner if you were at home
She said, yes ... but you weren't alone
I've put a hit on Marita, hope you don't mind
I don't like the way she looks at your behind
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
I was okay alone, beating off on the couch
Then you came at me and I said ouch,
I didn't really mind once you kissed my cheek,
Oh, I watched you leave with your ass so sleek.
Well, I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key
Just hold out your hand dear and try them out to see
La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
Oh! I got a brand new pair of handcuffs
I've thrown away the key

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