Extremis, by Emily and Dr. Ruthless

Extremis

by Emily and Dr. Ruthless

Disclaimer: Not ours. We tried to make them ours but they got away.

Series: 1. For Services Rendered, 2. Future Perfect , 3. What You Get For Loving Me , 4. Out of the Frying Pan, 5. Into the Fire, 6. Present Tense, 7. Extremis

Pairing: Alex, Dustin

Beta: by Sebastian, who has endless patience.

Rated: A slash

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The Smoker was furious.

He'd miscalculated, and he'd paid the price. For just one day, he'd been beguiled into forgetting that Dustin Yarma and Alex Krycek were different beings, and he had been truly punished for his lapse.

Dustin's blow to his throat his lucky blow, Spender told himself had fractured his hyoid bone, and the party the night before had come to an end as he choked and bled while everyone raced about trying to find medical assistance. By the time it had come, he had been in a bad way; the emergency tracheotomy that had been performed had only just been in time to permit his continued existence.

Today, he was weak enough not to mind sitting in a wheelchair while Greta pushed him along.

There had been no sign of Dustin. The thrice-cursed boy had run, taking with him his sweet ass and vile temper. The one consolation Spender had was knowing that now he wouldn't see Alex, because Alex had made it back into DC just 24 hours too late. The thought made Spender smile savagely to himself.

Krycek had returned like the famous bad penny, and was now in the Watergate Hotel with Covarrubias. She'd done well retrieving Krycek from the Middle East. He was wondering how to reward her as he was wheeled into the suite that was rented specially for Consortium members in DC.

By the time the two wandering agents were shown in to see him, he was virtually purring with delight.

Alex and Marita stood outside the doorway of suite 2645, looking at each other. Figuring it was now or never, Krycek cut his eyes to the door. He couldn't wait to see Dustin again, and every second brought him closer to that.

Marita knocked once, sharply, looking at Alex out of the corner of her eye. The entire way home he'd been talking of Dustin, and how he wanted to wrap himself around him as soon as he could. She swallowed, thinking that, if she knew Spender, it wouldn't be that easy...

Greta answered the door. Alex stared at her for a moment, hate in his eyes. She stepped back to allow them into the room. "Hi. He's anxious to see you."

I'll bet he is, Alex thought.

That was before he got his first real look at the man. His face was bloated, his skin papery. He sat in a wheelchair, looking up them with heavy lizard eyes. Alex half expected a forked tongue to flick in and out of his mouth.

He gasped. This was the man who had ruled him all of his life, reduced to this.

Beside him, Marita also regarded Smoker. To her, he looked like Yoda from the Star Wars movies, or a Muppet. Certainly not the powerful man he was - is, she reminded herself.

Alex thought of Dustin. Where was he right now? In the house? In the dungeon, hurting? Every day Alex had imagined his lover, being tormented as he had been.

It's over, lover, he thought. I'm here.

"I was worried about you, Alex," said the old man, oozing sincerity from every pore. Covertly, he studied Krycek, looking for signs that he might be breaking down. So far, there were none - but patience, he told himself. It's early days yet.

Krycek stared down at Spender. "Cut the crap, old man," he said, trying to keep his voice even.

Here he was. His tormentor and his Daddy, a part of his mind began hissing at him... but he didn't want to hear it. He had stayed tough. Sascha had kept him alive, and would continue to. He wouldn't let the old man know how close he was... he wouldn't think about Günter.

Dustin... are you close? he wondered. Are you here?

A slow smile crept over Spender's withered features. "I heard about your incarceration," he said, mockingly. Alex's eyes were the key to his emotional state. He watched now as they flickered, unable to keep from searching the room.

Krycek swallowed. Heard about it?

His eyes narrowed. Silently he pleaded, Hold me, Sascha, but he couldn't stop his voice cracking as he said to Spender, "You had me thrown in that hellhole."

The old man actually had the audacity to look concerned.

Dustin... Alex wished, oh, God... if only you were here...

"For trying to sell something that was mine, was it not?" Spender's lip was still curling. Yes. He could see the signs now, the strain that was betrayed by his protégé's preternatural stillness, and by the way he searched surreptitiously for the pet that he would not find. Yes, my boy, you will be good for your daddy, won't you? "I hope we can all move forward... Put the past behind us. We have a... singular opportunity now."

Put it behind us? Where's Dustin? His absence and Spender's silence were disturbing.

"A singular opportunity?" Krycek repeated.

Spender's tone... the man sounded pleased. He wondered when he would show him Dustin. He would, wouldn't he? He had to.

Maybe Dustin was part of this.

"There's been a crash in Oregon." Spender leaned forward, his face eager. "An alien ship has collided with a military aircraft. Recovery is all-important. It's Roswell and Corona all over again-- 50 years later. It's our chance to rebuild the project."

He saw Alex's face flicker, and knew that his response hadn't been what the man was after. He thinks I have his inamorata. Dear me! He doesn't know that the little rat escaped me.

He took the cigarette that Greta had lit for him and held it to the tracheotomy stoma, inhaling the fragrant smoke with evident pleasure as he watched both Krycek and Covarrubias recoil. Ah, yes, they were both still squeamish. He would enjoy this smoke even more now because of it.

Krycek watched as the Smoker took the cigarette, placing it into his trache. Even like this, the bastard still smokes... Marita couldn't believe iy, either.

"How do you know someone hasn't already recovered it?" she asked him, noticing Alex's horror.

"It's never quite that easy," smiled the old man as he feasted on the distaste that he could sense from his erstwhile protégé.

Krycek stared at Spender. He couldn't hold back his question any longer. "Where is he? Where's Dustin?" His voice wavered, though he tried to keep it even. He was hoping desperately that his lover was close by. Ah, there it was at last. This was the opening for which he had waited. "You're asking me about that pet of yours? The one that you left with me as a surety for your good behavior? But Alex, don't you see? When you disobeyed me, I killed him. I had to. I couldn't have you thinking that I would break my word, could I?"

"No... you wouldn't!" Alex's eyes flashed. "I didn't disobey you... I didn't! I sent you the discs..." He stared into Spender's eyes. Calm as ever. "I didn't... you wouldn't... he was too valuable to you. You wouldn't kill him..."

Alex's eyes showed his fervent hope that this was true.

Marita stared at Spender, her eyes hard

"Remember your old friend, Dr. Hatcher?" Spender was enjoying this now. At Alex's nod, he continued. "Dustin had a most interesting meeting with him. He disobeyed, and I had to have Julian compel him for me. Sadly, your poor little cub it was little cub, wasn't it? didn't survive the encounter. Dr. Hatcher was so looking forward to making his acquaintance, too."

Alex's eyes betrayed his fervent hope that this was true.

Marita stared at Spender, her eyes hard as flint. If you killed him, she was thinking, so help me...

"Remember your old friend, Dr. Hatcher?" Spender was enjoying this now. At Alex's nod, he continued. "Dustin had a most interesting meeting with him. He disobeyed, and I had to have Julian compel him for me. Sadly, your poor little cub - it was little cub, wasn't it? - didn't survive the encounter. Dr. Hatcher was so looking forward to making his acquaintance, too."

"No," Alex said. "You're lying to me! You are!" His fist clenched, and he turned to begin pacing, but then whirled and came back. "You were going to let Hatcher have him? No, Dustin was too good for that. You didn't make him..." Krycek's voice hitched, and threatened to break. "He was really special," Alex said. "Really special. You didn't kill him. I know it."

Marita continued to glare at Spender. "He killed Hatcher, didn't he?" she suggested. "You tried to make him sleep with him, and he wouldn't do it." She couldn't say as she blamed him. She hadn't liked sleeping with him, either.

"Alex, my boy, you will be good for your Daddy, now, won't you? We've had far too many tantrums lately. Come now, I need you to go to Oregon for me." Spender crushed the cigarette out in the ashtray that Greta had proffered. "Dustin Yarma is gone. Forget him. You'll never even know where he lies buried."

"No..."

Alex reached into his jacket, looking for his knife. Suddenly a shooting pain knifed through his head, and he stumbled, falling to his knees.

I can't hurt the bastard, he realized. Why not?

Alex raised his eyes to Spender... his Daddy.

"No, Daddy," he said in Alexei's voice. "He was my friend... my sweet friend. Why'd you kill him?"

Marita looked at Krycek sadly. She hated to see him like this.

"Release him," she said to Spender, coldly.

Spender made no answer, save for a small, hard smile. As he turned his wheelchair and moved away, Greta handed Krycek a plane ticket.

"Your flight leaves in four hours." She turned to Marita. "He wants to talk to you."

The audience was at an end.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Alex stood beside Marita, who held his hand lightly. They were outside the airport, standing in a drizzle. Alex's flight left in a half hour.

"I can't believe he killed him," Alex said for what seemed like the fifty-seventh time that hour. "Dadd - Spender wouldn't do that, would he?" He looked at Marita, eyes dark and misty in pain.

"He's lying. Please, tell me he wouldn't kill Dustin..."

There didn't seem to be anything she could say. Marita knew all too well that Spender would do anything he set his mind on. She patted his hand gently, and wondered privately how long it would be before Alex Krycek would be completely devoured by the little boy she could see shivering just beneath the surface of his emotions. If the Smoker had intended to break Alex, he had almost finished his work. She wondered if there was anything she could do to save him. It was all far too convoluted and terrible for her to bend her mind around.

"Alex, please hang in there, love. Don't let him beat you." She stroked his fingers, trying to think of something else she could say.

Alex put his arm around Marita, holding her close. "Maybe it doesn't matter anymore," he said softly. "Dustin..." His voice cracked. "Dustin was everything, Dustin was my last chance..."

He kissed her shoulder. "Why does he hate me so? I've tried to be good, really good... pretty." Hearing his own words, he stepped back in horror.

He usually wasn't aware of his regression, not consciously, and now... now, increasingly, he was.

He stared at Marita. "What the hell is happening to me?" he asked her, his face blanching. "It was never like this... not before..."

Her eyes had widened in horror and pity, and now she hugged him, avoiding his accusing eyes.

"Go to Oregon, and hurry back. We need to do something to help you, Alex. You're sick." She took a step backwards, away from him. "You have to go. You'll miss your flight."

Alex stared at her for a moment.

*Mama. Don't go...*

Who had said that?

He blinked rapidly a few time, shaking his head to clear it. "All right. All right. I just... yeah, I better go. I... take care."

With that, he shouldered his knapsack and headed into the terminal.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

He'd slept in the car, and awoke with the dawn, feeling stiff and sore. He'd escaped, and that was frightening enough, but he'd injured the Smoker, and that was terrifying. He wondered if the old man was dead, but came to the conclusion that the Devil could not be defeated so simply. Checking his watch, he saw that the time was almost 8am. Starting up the car, he pulled into a MacDonald's and bought himself breakfast at the drive-through.

He wondered how long it would be before the car he was driving would be wanted by the police. He checked the notes that he had made. He'd decided to go to see Dr. Werber. The man had been touted by both Spender and Skinner as an expert hypnotherapist, and Dustin was pinning his hopes on getting help from him for Alex.

Arriving at the Doctor's address, he rang the bell, his heart in his mouth. It was Sunday morning, Heitz Werber thought sourly. Who the hell rings your doorbell at this hour on a Sunday morning? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

Setting down his coffee mug and the latest issue of JAMA, he stood up stiffly, walking towards the door.

Opening it, but keeping the security chain across the door, Werber peered though the narrow opening.

"Yes?"

The man on his doorstep looked familiar... so familiar. But his memory came up empty.

"May I help you?"

"Please, I hope so." Dustin shifted nervously from foot to foot as he stood on the doorstep. "I have a problem. A terrible problem. I'm hoping that you can help me, but if you can't, I hope you can send me to someone who can. May I come in?"

Sighing, Werber looked the young man over. He did look distraught. However... something in the back of his mind warned him against this man, said he was dangerous. He didn't remember the man, but he knew enough to listen to his instincts.

"How did you know - where did you get my name and address?" he asked warily.

"I read it on a project that involved Fox Mulder. You helped Mulder, and you're the only one I know who has the level of expertise to help my Alex." Dustin shivered in the cold, damp wind that was blowing in off the Potomac. "They've brainwashed him. He's got to have help." He thought frantically, trying to come up with something that might sway Werber. "Assistant Director Skinner of the FBI was the one who said you were good at what you do."

Werber smiled, and shut the door to remove the chain. "Come in, come in," he said, stepping back to allow Alex entrance. "Please excuse my getup... I wasn't expecting visitors."

The doctor, clad in plaid pajamas and wearing slippers, walked back towards the breakfast nook. "Would you like some coffee? I have several varieties..." He opened a cabinet, revealing a selection of Gevalia Kaffe.

"Oh, would I?" exclaimed Dustin, following the doctor back into the house with great relief. "I just drank a cup of something that would make great paint stripper. I'd love some real stuff." He sat down where Dr. Werber indicated, and drew the hold-all he was carrying onto his knee. "I brought all the information I could to show you, but there's more. I have a lot of it memorized. Perhaps I should start by introducing myself. My name is Dustin Yarma, and the story I have is probably going to sound utterly impossible."

Werber smiled. "Well, as a psychiatrist, I've heard many things." He gazed at the large and bulging hold-all the young man was carrying.

"Hello, Dustin Yarma," Werber said. "Heitz Werber." He extended his right hand.

He turned around to brew a fresh pot of coffee. "Why don't you begin at the beginning, while I fix us up, here?"

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The office was quiet at the end of what had been a very long day. Mackey was writing memos regarding the new musical he was attempting to set up. Everyone else had gone home, and he was deliberating whether or not to call it a night when the phone rang.

"Mackey," he said. He wasn't expecting any calls at this time of night, and he really didn't want to get into any complex business discussions. It was far too late, and he was tired.

Alex had reached Portland Airport, and on deplaning had found a phone as soon as he could. He had had several disturbing flashbacks on the flight, and was very relieved to be back on terra firma. Now, he needed a friend... someone he could trust. Who would he choose but Mackey, his oldest true friend?

He'd been unable to eat on the flight, but now he was ravenous. He held his US Airways "happy meal" in one hand, tearing the sandwich wrap off the ham and turkey sandwich with his teeth.

When Mackey answered the phone he took the bag out of his mouth, shaking.

"He... he killed him, Karl..." His voice started to really waver at the end, and his knees knocked. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Maybe he should go to his hotel, call from there if he still felt he had to.

Get it together, Alex, he thought.

"Alex? Is that you, Alex? What do you mean, he killed him? Who killed who?" Mackey sounded completely astonished. "Where are you? Are you still in Tunisia?"

"Dustin. He killed Dustin." His voice was high, and he had started to cry; he felt a tear course down his cheek. "Killed him, Karl... gone." He rubbed the tear away. "All gone," he said, in a child's voice.

Alex! What the hell are you doing? he asked himself.

He stood there, just breathing, trying to figure out what to say next. Tunisia? What was Tunisia? The room was swimming... "What's the point," he said under his breath. "What's the fucking point?"

Behind him, the PA system announced the last call for the redeye from Portland to Boston.

"Woah, Alex, hold it. I was talking to Dustin just a half hour ago. When did he kill him? You mean Spender, don't you?" Mackey was confused. "I don't see how he could have killed him. Dustin isn't with Spender. He got away yesterday." It suddenly dawned on Mackey what had happened. "He lied to you, my love. He lied to you out of sheer cruelty. He wanted to keep you apart. He's succeeded, hasn't he?"

Alex was numb. He couldn't think... didn't want to. "He's gone... Daddy took him away. Far... away..." Alex squeezed his eyes shut. "Don't try to make me feel better with lies. Don't you know lies always hurt more?" He hung up, and stood shaking. It was a while before he could get himself together enough to head for a table to eat his sandwich, then go in search of a cab.

Karl twitched a little. He wasn't sure what the story was here, but he was going to find out. Swiftly he checked for the number that Dustin had given him in DC. He was going to make sure of his facts before he made any statements to Alex that could possibly harm him. Well aware that 10pm in Los Angeles was 1am in Washington DC, Mackey felt a little twinge of conscience as he dialed, but as the phone began to ring, he felt the cold trickle of fear down his spine.

When Dustin answered sleepily, Mackey felt a flood of relief so intense that he almost fell. "Dustin, is that you?"

"Who else would it be? Is that you, Karl? What's the matter?" the smoky voice was slowly sounding more alert, but Dustin was still evidently a little foggy.

"I wanted to make sure that you're still alive, Dustin. Alex thinks that you're dead. The Smoking Man told him that he'd killed you."

"Where is he, Karl?" Dustin was sounding alert again as the words penetrated the drowsy aftermath of sleep. "Jesus! What has that bastard done to him? I'll kill him for sure." Mackey could hear the yawn that filled the pause between Dustin's words. "When did he come home?"

"He's not... exactly home," Karl said. "He's in Oregon... I'm going to call his cell number, try to get on the first plane up there... get him back to sanity. But I had to make sure you were really alive before I told him... he's right on the edge." Mackey sucked in a breath. "The old man's playing with him, Dustin, fucking with his mind and he's... I have to go to him. He... I... I'll bring him back to you. Okay?" Mackey paused. "Where are you now? If you have your cell you must have gotten out. What's going on?"

"I got out all right. I stabbed an old guy and kicked old Spender in the throat. Then I ran. He wanted to whore me out. I couldn't do it, Karl. The old bastard was one of those that abused Alex so I don't feel even slightly sorry. I just wish it was all over and I had him back. I'm at the house of a hypnotherapist, trying to get some help for him." Dustin paused, not sure if to say where he was would permit the Smoker to trace him. "Karl, what can I do? I'm so fucking far away."

Karl let out a breath. "They hurt him so badly... for what, Dustin? I agree that that piece of scum deserved to die. I could tell you things... I don't know what you can do. Stay with the... did you say hypnotherapist?" There was an edge in Mackey's voice. "Can you trust him? How did you find out about him, and what did you tell him?" Meanwhile, Mackey was online, seeing about airline tickets...

"He's one that's retained by the FBI. If I can't trust him, I can't trust anyone. He's reading over the papers that I've taken from the Smoker. I took all kinds of stuff. He might be able to do something to help him." Dustin ceased to speak, and there was a short pause, then he said, "Can you get to him? Will you be in time?"

While Dustin spoke, Karl finished emailing a friend at Miramar AFB to see about getting... alternative transport to Oregon. He had an old friend, of sorts, who was now a CO, and he owed him a favor or two. For good measure, he paged the man as well.

"I'm trying to get to him. I emailed Dillain down at Miramar... and I think he'll come through."

He looked at the papers on his desk for a moment. "He won't like another doctor. Especially if he's a therapist. He's scared to death of them. Not that I blame him... do you know what they did to him? He was only a boy..."

Karl couldn't help choking a little a he remembered the things he and Alex had gone through on their return from Tunguska, and by then they were both 17, 18... Before that...

"I'll get there as soon as I can."

Just then his beeper went off... it was Dillain.

"That's him now," Mackey said to Dustin. "Hang on..."

Fuming impotently at the dead air, Dustin waited for Mackey to come back. At the click that heralded his return he demanded to know what was happening. "Karl? When will you get there? Is it going to be okay?

"Dillain's gonna take me by jet, in about a half hour. I have to go, Dustin. I'll call you as soon as I know anything; promise."

"Oh, please get there in time." Dustin sounded desperate. "Don't leave me waiting to find out. Call me as soon as you find him."

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It was 5am by the time Karl Mackey stumbled into a hotel bedroom. He'd made it to Portland with his old friend's assistance, and had then checked into the hotel at the terminal. Picking up the phone, he dialed Alex's cell again, hoping to get hold of him, but knowing that he would be sleeping by that time. He'd been right. Fearfully, he'd left a message giving his hotel's address and his room number, then, throwing his clothes onto a chair, he fell exhausted into bed.

Alex Krycek was lying in bed awake, shivering. He held his knees to his chest, having jerked awake suddenly... it was his fault, all his fault Dustin was dead. He shouldn't have run... shouldn't have run. Now he was trapped again.

He grabbed the sweat-soaked sheet that was twisted around his body, clinging to it for warmth though he had kicked off the blankets for being too hot... he was freezing now. He heard his cell go off but didn't answer it. He closed his eyes, and there was Sergei again, Daddy Sergei... yelling at him, telling him not to run... but how could he not run?

He couldn't stay.

He tossed the sheet off and tried sitting up, but he felt dizzy and immediately had to lie down again.

Still, his contact would be waiting at seven... get up or sleep? He might as well get up... if he could.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It was close to midday when Karl finally emerged from his room to searchfor Alex. He'd called his cell several times and had no reply. Now he had to try another way. Alex was obviously not going to respond to his calls now, and he needed to trace him. He spent the afternoon checking on car rental companies, and struck lucky on his fourth call. Alex had rented a vehicle, and it had been delivered to his hotel. Grimly, Karl headed off to the place, intending to await Alex's arrival.

Krycek climbed the stairs in the old, seedy hotel and walked down the hall to his room, keys in hand. Sascha was still in control, still shielding the man and boys who were on the verge of collapse. I have you safe now, he reassured them. Don't be afraid.

He put the key in the lock, and was surprised to find it unlocked. Well, of course it was...

Stepping inside, he saw the man, and his cock was instantly hard. He growled. "Take off your pants and get against the wall, Karl"

Mackey had been waiting for Alex's return. He had been filled with fear when he'd spoken to Alex on the phone. He was regressing farther and faster each time he received a shock. Now, as he turned to see Alex enter the room, confident and cool, his heart rose. It was only when Alex spoke that he realized that something was still terribly wrong.

"Alex? I was worried about you."

"Shut up, Karl." Sascha's eyes were hard and almost black. "You don't listen very well, do you?" He was across the room in two strides, shoving Mackey against the wall, reaching around for Karl's fly, unbuttoning it and shoving Karl's pants down while he pressed him to the wall with his prosthetic hand.

Breathing heavily, he undid his own pants, taking out his cock and bending his knees to position himself just at Karl's anus. Seizing the man's earlobe in his teeth, he shoved inside of Karl roughly, and began fucking him fiercely.

"You always were a wimp, Karl. You and Alexei both."

He used his hand to hold Karl against the wall as he fucked him deeper and harder on each stroke. He moved his mouth down to bite at Karl's neck. Karl's hands splayed out against the wall of the room, forgotten as they scrabbled for purchase on the smooth surface, his head turned sideways as Sascha it had to be Alex's most vicious persona had his way. His ass, unprepared, burned as Alex shoved into him, brutally, and he cried out in pain as the penetration caused him to rise onto his tiptoes.

"Alex, lover. Don't… Ah, God, that hurts."

"In case you haven't noticed, *lover*, Alex isn't home right now." Sascha's voice was smoky as he pushed himself deeper into Karl. "Spread your legs, boy. You always were such a slut for pain. Take it, Karl. Take it."

Dropping his hand to grip and pinch savagely at the tip of Karl's cock as he felt his balls begin to tighten, Sascha bit into Karl's shoulder. "You know you're a pain slut." he sneered, pulling Karl closer to him with his arm as he pinched him, shoving him against the wall and thrusting into him as hard as he could. "I can give you that..."

Hurt, and hurt… Pinches and bites and scratches that tore his skin, drew his blood and made him keen in a strange, high pitched voice. Karl shook, but beneath the pain, beneath the fear, this was Alex, loving him, fucking him and showing him no mercy. He felt as though his heart would burst for joy. "Give it to me, Alex. Give me everything. I love you."

"Take it, then," Sascha growled as he exploded in orgasm, emptying himself deep inside Karl. "You want it? Take it."

He held himself against Karl, biting and pressing him against the wall, until his orgasm subsided.

As it did, so did Sascha's fight, and spirit...

*I love you, Alex*

Those were words spoken to Alexei, so long ago...

Looking down as he pulled out of Karl, not quite aware of where he was, Alexei saw the blood on his cock and Karl's ass. "Wha -"

Then he saw blood from bites on Karl's neck. "Oh God..."

Heart pounding, he began to back away, an arm held up as if to fend off any blows. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

He retreated to the far corner of the room, sinking down onto the floor.He'd marked Karl, and now his Daddy would hurt him again... and Karl would hurt him because of it.

"I'm sorry Karl... I'm sorry... I'll be good..."

He looked at Karl, eyes wide in fear and confusion.

Karl could do nothing for a moment. He was in pain, his body felt excoriated, his gut lanced as if by knives.

"Oh, Alex, my love. I do love you." Karl sank to his knees.

He reached out, wanting, needing Alex to hold him.

Alexei cowered in the corner. "Karl... what happened? I didn't mean to hurt you..." He shivered. "I'm sorry... so sorry." He looked down at the floor. "We're in trouble now, aren't we?"

He waited for Karl to strike him.

Crawling forward, Karl reached for Alex, and when his hands touched him, he pulled him in and held him close.

"Baby, you have to understand that I love you. I won't ever hurt you. Dustin… Dustin asked me to come."

Alexei's lower lip trembled as he looked into Karl's eyes. "Moi Karl... Daddy killed Dustin. He's dead... dead. My Little Cub is dead... oh god, why did I run again, Karl? Why did I make Daddy mad? Dustin's dead..."

He looked at Karl. "Daddy Sergei will be here soon." His eyes grew wider. "We should hide." Not that hiding ever did any good, with Daddy Sergei, not for long, but it would make him feel a little better... for a few moments.

Karl didn't know how to answer him. He held Alex tight, his own hurts forgotten in the need to make Alex well.

"He's not dead, love. He's not. He sent me to look after you. Sergei can't touch you. You belong to me now."

If Alex had been in his right mind, he would have had a smile at Karl's saying he, Alex, belonged to Karl. Maybe more than a smile.

As he was, Alexei looked at him doubtfully. "Sergei can always touch me. You know that. He's my Daddy. And Dustin... Little Cub is dead. Daddy -Daddy told me that. He wouldn't lie. He said that, too."

He looked at Karl warily. "You did hurt me," he stated. "You got on top of me when I was tied down. You... you fucked me."

He started scooting away.

Karl wasn't sure what he could do. He scrabbled in his pockets, searching out his cell phone, and dialed Dustin's number.

"Come on, Dustin, pick up." He put the phone to his ear. It rang three times before he heard the husky voice answer.

"Hello? Yarma." Dustin might be able to convince Alex where Karl could not.

"Dustin, Hold on." He held out the phone to Alex. "Take it. Talk to him."

Warily, Alexei took the phone. "Hello," he said, expressionlessly.

"Alex?" The voice was the same as his own. "Alex? Is that you?" Dustin suddenly realized who it was that he was to talk to. "Oh, thank God you're safe. When are you coming home?"

Alexei's lip quivered again. "Dust - Dustin? You - you're alive?" He couldn't believe it, but unless this was a *very* special kind of phone, he was alive.

"Daddy said you were dead," he said. Oh, God, Daddy said he killed you..."

Alexei remembered that Daddy had said he would not take him to Dustin's grave.

"Maybe because he couldn't," Alex said aloud. "But... Daddy doesn't lie..."

He looked at Karl, confusion in his eyes.

"Dustin? Little Cub? Are you really alive?"

"Well, baby, if I'm not, I'm a very healthy walking corpse. Oh, Alex, I'm so happy to hear your voice. When are you coming back to me?" Dustin sounded eager, and his enthusiasm was palpable over the phone. "I had to leave the old bastard. He was going to hurt me, but I've got so many things that will help you. I have to tell you so much."

Alex couldn't think. "Dustin, oh, Dustin. I love you, Dustin. He... did he hurt you? Did he touch you? But you're okay now? Where are you?" He looked at Mackey. "When... when can we go to Dustin?" he asked, breathlessly. Then he put the phone back to his ear. "Are you safe Dustin? You have to be safe."

"Safe? Yeah, I'm safe for now. I'm with a Dr. Werber. He's helping me go through some of the stuff I stole from Spender. Wh... when are you coming back to DC?" Dustin was tripping over words in his eagerness.

"Werber?" Alex bit at his lip. The name was so familiar... but he was a doctor... "Doctor? I don't trust doctors. I... is he hurting you?" What did you steal from Spender?" He was confused again. "I have to go see Daddy tomorrow. Have to go home. He'll be so disappointed. I'm afraid. He'll hurt me. But I have to go. I failed in my job."

"Alex, you have to come home to me. I'll make sure that Daddy doesn't ever hurt you again." Dustin had seen Alex like this before, and Dr. Werber had told him how to handle it. His next words were chosen carefully. "Dr. Werber won't hurt you. He's my friend and I won't let him hurt you. I'm… I'm going to protect you."

"I... I want to see you, Dustin. But I have to go to Daddy. I... I can't explain it. But I need to go see Daddy tomorrow. Are you still in D.C.? Maybe I can see you then... I love you so much, Dustin. I'm sorry I got you mixed up with Daddy. I need to see him though... if not he'll kill you for real, I know he will." Alex drew in a breath and looked at Mackey. "Can you... you'll help me, moi Karl?"

Karl shook himself. His senses were still overloaded. His anus was bleeding and he felt dizzy.

"I'll help you, love. You know I will. What do you need me to do?" He stood on shaky legs, and stumbled to where Alex was sitting, holding out his hand to pull him up.

Alex looked at Karl as if really seeing him for the first time. His pants were down, his shirt rumpled. There was blood on his thigh. "My God Karl..."

He took his hand, standing up slowly. "Are you okay?"

He took Karl around the waist and led him to the bed. "Lie down, Karl. I'll help you. I just need... oh, God. I can't..."

Alex turned back to the phone. "Talk to Karl, okay? I hurt him, I think...Dustin, why do I hurt him so?"

He dropped the phone into Karl's hand and went to the hotel mini-bar for some ice.

*Lick it, boy.*

Alex shivered.

Sergei stood above him. *Give me a rimjob, pretty boy.*

Alex shook his head to clear the memory, and continued toward the ice.

"We'll be on the first flight in the morning, Dustin. I'll call you as soon as we've got a flight." He winced as he laid himself back on the bed. "Talk to you later." Folding his cell phone up once again, he waited for Alex to fetch the ice.

Alex took several ice cubes from the small freezer, filled a plastic cup and collected some paper towels.

Rejoining Karl at the bed, he lay down beside him. "Moi Karl... I'm sorry." He took one of the ice cubes, and lightly trailed it up Karl's thigh, to his anus. He held it there a moment. "Tell me where, and how much," he whispered, kissing Karl's neck softly.

After a moment, he said, "Do you remember lying by the river like this in Siberia, holding each other? You were all I had, Karl. Why do I treat you so badly? I don't get it."

Mackey yelped as the cold of the ice invaded his senses, and then slowly relaxed as Alex began to stroke his abused tissues.

"I remember, Alex. I would never forget anything that you and I did together. Come hold me again. We can go back to Dustin tomorrow." Karl opened his arms to Alex, and waited, longing on his face. "You know that you can always count on me to be here for you."

Alex moved closer to Karl, wrapping an arm around him. "Why do you put up with me, Karl? You know you need someone who'll treat you right... you know you deserve so much better." He quickly slipped a piece of ice into Karl's anus, then another. He then fell on Karl, kissing him and licking the wounds where he'd bitten the man. "I love you..."

"Alex, I know you do." Mackey put his arms around Alex once more. "Don't worry. You're safe now. I won't let anything bad happen to you, and tomorrow, you'll be home with Dustin again." Karl stroked Alex's hair, trying hard to offer him comfort.

Alex snuggled closer to Karl, smiling. "I'm so lucky to have you. You don't even know how often you've saved my life, do you?" Alex kissed his mouth, running a hand around to cradle his head. "Moi Karl..." He yawned.

"Moi Karl? Why do I hurt you, Karl? I love you. Why do I treat you so bad?"

"Hush now, baby. You need to sleep. We'll be catching a plane early tomorrow. You know that I don't mind when you hurt me, just so long as you don't forget me." Karl spoke softly, wishing that he could help Alex somehow, knowing that he couldn't.

Alex rubbed Karl's neck. "You won't forget me, either... will you?" He licked at Mackey's chin, and snuggled in again. "You feel so good, so safe. I finally feel safe... will you hold me while I sleep, Karl? Please?" He buried his nose in Karl's neck, breathing in the musky scent that had always meant comfort, and occasionally, safety.

"It's all I ever wanted," said Karl, snuggling Alex in against him. "I won't let you go."

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The following morning was wet and cold. Karl had woken Alex at four, and by six am they were at the airport, checked in and ready to board the first plane to DC. Karl felt jumpy. There were so many things that he was afraid of, but one thing he knew, he had to get Alex back to DC, and to Dustin, before the man became incapable of functioning.

As their flight was called, he found himself prompting Alex, and felt fear as they walked to the business class compartment.

Alex walked in a daze. Daddy... Dustin... Karl. He had to see Daddy, but he needed to make sure Dustin was all right first. "Karl..." He dropped into his seat, a window-seat, near the front of the cabin, and looked out onto the tarmac absently. "It's a long way down, isn't it, Karl?" he asked.

"It's not far, Alex, love, and we'll soon be home. You will be able to see Dustin again. He's longing to see you." Mackey racked his brains in an attempt to think of something that would hold Alex during the flight. "Hang in, Alex. Stay with me."

Alex continued to stare out the window. "Long ago, far away... there was a good boy, a pretty boy. His daddy told him to be good so he'd love him always. Then he sent his good boy away... like this. He never came back the same again... had a friend with him when he came back, though. Karl. But Sergei... he never would have let me go."

"Sergei hurt you, baby. He hurt us both. We didn't love Sergei." Karl put out a hand to stroke Alex's hair. "Come on, baby, you know that Dustin is waiting. He loves you. You don't need to remember Sergei."

As the plane began its takeoff roll, Alex turned to look at Karl. "I gotta get home... I gotta see Daddy. Daddy wants me... maybe he'll tell me I'm a good boy and love me this time. If I'm extra good, and pretty, do you think he would? I just want him to love me... all I've ever wanted." He watched the receding ground slip away beneath them, and waved. "Bye bye... we're up now."

"Oh, baby, of course he's going to love you. How could he not?" Mackey stroked him gently. "Come now, love, see if you can sleep for a while. I'll wake you up when they bring your breakfast."

Alex snuggled in against Karl, happy and safe at last, but he was still anxious... he nuzzled in, bringing his hand to his face, not sucking his thumb, but it was there... he sucked and nibbled at Karl's sweater, instead, as he drifted off to troubled dreams...

Dreams of the gulag, of Sergei... of pain and loneliness and dread. The overarching feeling of failure.

The learned helplessness of a lifelong victim.

*Do what we tell you, it'll go easier on you then.*

Except it hadn't... hadn't mattered. Even when he was good, they still hurt him... holding him down, or when he was bad, sometimes...

As Alexei slept, he whimpered softly, jerking a little as if to scoot away...

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The sprawl of Washington DC lay beneath them. Alex had slept fitfully for much of the way, and Karl shook him gently now, invading yet another, obviously bad dream to rouse him so that he could prepare for landing. "Hey, Alex. Come on now, love. It's time we were thinking about landing. "We're here."

"No... no..." Alex tossed. "Sergei, please, no..."

He jerked, and opened one eye, dazed. "Karl?" he asked softly. "Where's Daddy?"

"He sent Dustin to meet you, love. He knows how much you want to see him." Karl busied himself tidying Alex and dusting down his fine serge jacket prior to fastening his seat belt. "Here we go," he said, smiling, as he felt the plane beginning to descend.

Alex looked at Karl warily. "Dustin? My Little Cub? Daddy's letting me see him? His words were hopeful, earnest. The child once again...

His face drooped. "But Daddy said I could only play with Karl. Didn't want me to have other friends."

Karl sighed. "Daddy doesn't mind if you play with Dustin, love. He knows what Dustin means to you. He sent Dustin to meet you. When the plane lands, you'll see." Gritting his teeth, he prepared himself for the landing, hoping against hope that Alex could hold on to his sanity.

Alex held Karl's hand tightly. "I'm afraid, Karl... I have to see Daddy. Go straight to Daddy. Dustin'll take me to him, won't he?" Alex's eyes were wide. "After I do a job, I have to report to Daddy. It's that way every time, you know that."

"Daddy is away at the moment, baby. He's in Tunisia." The lie caught in Karl's throat. "He says that you did well and you can play with Dustin for a couple of days before he comes home." Turning to the window, Karl pointed out the airport. "See, baby, that's where we're going. That's where Dustin's waiting to see you."

"Dustin..." Alex smiled. "I had fun with Dustin. We held each other tight and I felt loved, like papa when he... before papa left and things went bad. Before they... hurt me..." Alex bit his lip.

"I wish Papa had never left me!" he wailed. "Now I'll never be loved again. Never ever ever."

"Alex Krycek, do you think that I don't love you? Do you think that Dustin doesn't love you? You hurt my feelings."

The plane was down on the runway now, and Karl was trying to divert Alex as he told him about the fun they would have with each other.

"No... no, I'm a bad boy. I don't deserve any love or fun. I didn't find the ship, and I hurt my friend, and... and if you loved me you'd take me to my Daddy!" Alex looked out the window. "You... you won't let me. I have to go... go back... find it. Or Daddy won't love me, he'll hurt me..."

"Daddy said that it was all right not to find it, because you didn't let Fox Mulder find it either. He told me to tell you that you are a good boy, Alyosha. He knows that you tried your hardest." God, it hurt to deceive. Alex's face was querulous, lower lip trembling, but here and now was not the place for comfort. "Come, Alyosha. Pick up your bag. We have to go and meet Dustin now."

Alex nodded, picking up his bag expressionlessly. He was with one of Daddy's men... it was out of his hands, now. All he could do was follow, and take what came.

He looked at Karl for direction.

Leaving the plane was done in a trice. Mackey stayed close to Alex, who walked listlessly. He talked of whatever came into his head in his attempt to cheer Alex, to bring him back to himself. It seemed as though nothing would work. Finally, he saw Dustin in the distance, waiting, dressed casually and twirling a keychain between his fingers, and pointed to him.

"Look, Alex. There he is. He's not dead after all."

Alex stopped, looking at his double. He bit his lip, and tried to remember his name. "Dust... little cub," he said. "He's not so little... does he want me?" Alex looked at Dustin, uncertain. He offered a smile, but took Mackey's hand and stayed close.

"Oh, Alex," said Dustin, and in those syllables was a world of love. "Come on, we have to go somewhere where I can hold you tight, and kiss you until I believe that I have you back." He stood looking at Alex, his heart shining from his eyes as he danced from toe to toe in his excitement. "Come on. The car is waiting for you." He turned to lead the way, and then, as an afterthought, turned back. "Hi, Karl," he said.

Alex looked at Dustin. "I'll go with you... I'll be good. Where are you taking me?" He ran to catch up to this man... this Dustin. They had been friends once... lovers. He'd never felt safer than in his arms. He just couldn't remember *when*...

"I'm taking you to my friend's house, baby. That's where I've been staying for the last few days." Dustin caught Karl's eye as they walked to the car. He had seen at a glance what was happening with Alex, and he didn't need Karl to tell him to be careful what he said. "I've been staying with him, and told him all about you. He wants to meet you."

Alex smiled. "I can be good for you. I can be really good." He looked at Karl, then Dustin. "What do you need me to do?"

Karl's gasp was audible, even above the noise in the airport concourse. Dustin stopped and swung round to glare at him. "You know what, Alex? I need you to be my lover again. That's what I need. Can you think of anything else I might need? Just tell me, or better yet, surprise me." Dustin spoke with a smile, but behind the smile was pain, bright as new pennies in the tear filled eyes.

Grinning impishly and fluttering his lashes seductively, Alex took Dustin's hand and pulled him into a men's room near a bar they were passing. He knew what he could do to be good. What they always wanted...

He had to prove his worth.

He pushed Dustin against the wall of the room, dropping to his knees and unzipping his fly. "I'll be your good boy, your pretty boy. You'll see. You'll be glad my Daddy sent me to you."

Dustin froze. How could this be happening? How could he have regressed so low, so fast? Gently, he stroked Alex's face, turning it up to look at him.

"You're right, love. I want you, but not here. Not like this. I want you in my bed, in my arms, to sleep with you, and wake up tomorrow knowing that you're there with me. I want to kiss you, and for you to kiss me back." He pulled up his zipper and then held out a hand to help Alex to his feet. "Come and kiss me, love, and then lets go somewhere quiet."

Alex stared up at Dustin. This wasn't right... this wasn't.... how it was supposed to go.

But Dustin seemed to want...

He stood up slowly, kissing him long and deep. "Dustin... oh, Dustin."

Dustin? Dustin...? The spice scent and taste... the warmth and feel... this was a friend.

Alex shook himself. He stood, blinking. "Dustin," he whispered. "What's happened? He said you were dead; then you weren't. And I... sometimes I can't remember things, and I... what's wrong with me? I mean... you're him, right? You're Dustin Yarma... little cub."

Dustin hugged him close, pressing his face tight against the wool of Alex's long coat as he fought the tears again. It was a minute before he could raise his head and gaze into Alex's eyes, and when he did so, it was hard to smile.

"Nothing's wrong, love. We're going to make everything all right for you. Nobody is ever going to hurt you again, I give you my word." He glanced over his shoulder to where Karl was leaning against the door, waiting. Kissing Alex quickly, he took his hand. "Come on. I want to get you home."

Alex nodded, looking at Karl quickly before wrapping his arm around Dustin, walking quickly with him, not caring who saw them. It was Dustin... but for how long? How long until his Daddy took him, sent him away again?

"I'd love to go home with you, Dustin," he said. "But I have to go see Daddy first. Then, if he says it's all right, I'll go with you. Okay?"

At that, Karl jumped in so quickly that Dustin faltered and almost stopped walking.

"I told you, your Daddy is in Tunisia. He told Dustin to take care of you.He'll phone you later, I don't doubt. He said that Dustin was your reward for being good."

"No, that's not true," Alex said firmly. "Why are you lying to me? My Daddy... he never rewards me that way. Never ever. I have to go to see him. He'll be mad if I don't, and he'll hurt me. Lock me up, and... make me see a doctor. I don't want to see another doctor. They hurt you too." He turned away from Karl, holding more tightly to Dustin.

"Alex!" Dustin spoke sharply. "Do you believe that Karl is your friend?"

Alex stopped, biting his lip. His friend had yelled at him... he was unsure.

"Do you... should I..." He was afraid, afraid to say the wrong thing. He searched Dustin's eyes, trying to divine what it was he wanted to hear.

"You need to tell me if you think that Karl is your friend or not." Dustin spoke more gently now, but he was insistent. "I don't want you to guess what I think. I want you to tell me what you think."

Alex took a step back. "Don't... don't hurt me? Promise? Karl's my friend... my best friend. Someday if you want... I'll tell you about him. But Karl... he ... he wants me not to hurt. He's trying to make me feel better. But I know I gotta get home."

"If Karl is your friend, why do you think he would lie to you, baby?" Dustin persisted. "You're coming with me. When the Smoker phones you, you'll feel better, okay? You know that we won't hurt you."

Alex bit his lip, thinking about this. "Sometimes you lie, to make someone feel better? Like when Daddy tells me to suck someone or sleep with them, I hardly ever want to do it, but I smile and act like I do, so they won't tell my Daddy I was bad." He looked at Dustin. "Karl just doesn't want me to feel bad. But, it's okay, Karl. If I'm good, Daddy won't hurt me. He'll just... you know. But he won't hurt me."

Karl sighed, took out his phone and dialed the number of the house in Falls Church, knowing that Spender was staying in the hotel in DC. When the person at the other end picked up, he asked to speak to Mr. Spender, beckoning Alex close to listen.

"Mr. Spender is away on business," said the bored voice at the other end of the line. "He'll be returning Thursday." Triumphantly, Karl thanked the man and then closed the phone. "Now do you believe me?"

Alex nodded, swallowing. "Okay. Okay." He stood there, holding Dustin's hand. "I'll go with you."

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

As the car pulled up to Dr. Werber's house, Dustin was already trying to work out how to disguise his profession from Alex. He'd heard the boy Alyosha protesting against seeing a doctor out at the airport, and had realized what a fine line he had to tread. He turned to Alex, and smiled brightly.

"This is where Heitz lives. He's a friend of mine. He's looking forward to meeting you, love." He gave Mackey a speaking look. "Karl, are you gonna come in?" Mackey shook his head at that. The fewer people were involved at this point, the better.

"I'm gonna check into a hotel. I'll call you once I get settled." They climbed out of the car and watched Karl pull away before turning to the door.

"Alex, my love. I'm so happy to see you." Dustin longed to touch him. It was hard just to stand looking at him. "Come on."

Alex nodded. "I'm glad to see you, too." During the ride, he had come back to himself, with no small amount of effort. Fragments of personalities kept vying for control, and he didn't even ... he couldn't always stop it. He was out of control. Not a state Alex Krycek enjoyed finding himself in.

He looked up at the big house. "Heitz?" he said as they started towards it. "Why does he want to meet me?"

"Because I love you, you great fool. Why else?" Dustin laughed, and risked putting out his hand to touch Alex's face very swiftly. Then, they turned together to ascend the steps to the front door. As Dustin rang the bell, he found himself praying that the doctor would understand and help his love.

Alex smiled. "Just 'cause you love me? Why should that make a difference?" Alex leaned his head on his lover's shoulder. "Wouldn't you rather go to a hotel... and just hold each other? We *have* been separated awhile, you know."

"Alex," Dustin's voice was quiet, begging to share secrets. "I don't want him to find me. If he does, he'll rape me again. Please help me. I don't want him to rape me." He cowered, as if panic stricken by the thought. "We can hold each other now, here. I told you that Heitz is my friend."

Alex wrapped an arm around him. "Daddy should never touch you. You're mine, not his. Daddy can't have you... I'll make sure. I'll go to him, and then he won't ever find you."

The door opened, and Dr. Werber stood on the threshold, dressed in shirt sleeves, and carrying a pile of books.

"Dustin," he said. "This must be your Alex. Hello, my name is Heitz." He looked around him, and then turned back to where the two men stood. "Come on in. Forgive if I don't shake hands right at the moment." He looked helplessly at the books.

Alex nodded wordlessly, and slipped inside, sleek and graceful. He stepped to one side and turned to allow Dustin to enter. He looked at Heitz, distrustfully, and when he spoke, his voice was guarded. "Hello. I'm Alex."

Dustin followed him in, and closed the door, thankfully. As Dr. Werber carried his books through into a room off the hallway, Dustin called out to him.

"I'm going to take Alex up to our room first and get him settled in. He's had a long flight and he's probably tired."

Dr Werber poked his head back around the door. "Make yourself at home, Alex. I have to go out, but I'll be back in time for dinner. See you then."

Alex nodded. "Thank you." He looked at Dustin. "I am tired. How did you know?" He smiled. "Lead the way, Little Cub."

Preceding Dustin up the wide staircase, Dustin felt his excitement growing. He had got Alex this far. Maybe some day it would be all right again. They at least stood a chance now. He wouldn't waste it, that was for sure.

"Hey, it's a 5 hour flight. I'd be tired. I extrapolated." He threw open the door to their room and gestured Alex inside. "Bathroom on the right, bed on the left, and I'm Dustin. I'll be your host this afternoon." He grinned, and watched Alex enter, then he closed the door and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, waiting.

Alex chuckled. "Dustin, Dustin, Dustin. Do you know how much I've missed you?" He walked over to him, cupping his face in the palm of his hand. "It really *is* you, isn't it?"

Alex sat beside him on the bed. "So. What have you been doing while I've been gone?"

"Oh, I've been learning new things on a daily basis," Dustin said. "First of all, I learned to kill. Then I honed that skill. I'm pretty good at it now."

Alex cuddled up to Dustin. He looked at him, with wide eyes. "He made you kill? Wha -- what did he do to you? Did he hurt you? Are you all right?" He looked at the wall, as a feeling of guilt washed over him. If Dustin had suffered because of him, because he knew him...

*It's your fault, boy. You ran, but they'll take the punishment. And I'll tell them it was you. I'll break Ivan's legs and tell him it was because of what you did. It's your fault, Alexei.*

His breath quickened a bit.

"He sent Pyotor to me that first night that you were gone. I killed him, love. I owe it all to you. You gave me my knife and I used it on him." Dustin turned his face, and lowered his lashes, thinking, that if Alex didn't kiss him soon, he would die.

Alex looked up at Dustin, opening his lips, angling for a kiss. Threading his hand through Dustin's hair, he pulled him down for a kiss... gentle at first, then harder and more insistent. "God, you taste so good... so good."

*Daddy's tasted him, too. What you have Daddy always gets.*

Alex wrapped his arm around Dustin's shoulders. "No," he said. "No. Daddy can't have you... he can't!"

"It was nothing, love. He doesn't get me. I belong to you, only you." Dustin clung tight to Alex, and laid his head against Alex's shoulder, breathing in his smell. "I killed people who'd hurt you, love. They won't do it again."

Alex let his head fall back onto the pillow. "I hate him, Dustin. I hate him and he's my Daddy... that sounds terrible. But I do. He's ruled me all my life, and I don't think I'll ever be free... I tried... ran to California." He snorted. "You see how well that worked."

"Why haven't you killed him, Alex?" Dustin asked the question, drinking in his lover's presence, and hugging it to him as he sat, as wide eyed and innocent as a hawk. "If ever there was anyone who deserved to die…"

"I... I've thought about it. How... how it would be, how it would feel. But... I can't do it, Dustin. I... every time I... you won't understand this, but if I try to plan to kill him, or when I go to strike him, I get a really sick feeling in my gut and my head. It's incapacitating. I don't know what it is, but... he's seen it. He laughs."

"That means nothing to me. Let me kill him for you." Dustin stretched out a hand to touch Alex, still afraid that he might vanish and leave him alone again. "I could rid you of him and not even care."

Alex looked at Dustin. "You couldn't kill him," he said softly. "Not him. He'll get you every time. He's everywhere. You think you're finally free, and then you turn around and realize you're deeper in it than ever before, that the bastard planned it, and was laughing at you the whole time. He'll kill you for real, Dustin. He was so mad at you. He said..." Alex swallowed. "He said you were supposed to be ... with... Hatcher." Alex closed his eyes. Somehow talking about being an intelligence whore in front of his love was worse than living it.

After all, he'd done it all his life. It was his station in life; the role he was cast in.

"Alex, what would you say if I told you that Hatcher is dead?" Dustin ducked his head, smiling. He could remember the clean bite of his knife ending Hatcher's life, and he thrilled to think how happy Alex would be at the news.

"Hatcher... he's dead?" Alex looked at Dustin. Hatcher, the man who'd tortured him, used him for years, promised to take him away from Spender but never did -- he was dead? "How... why... whe... how..."

"It's why I can't let the Smoker find me, love. I killed him. He wanted to use me the way he's used you so often and I… I saw red. I stabbed him with my lucky knife." He felt in his pocket, and brought out the knife that Alex had given him. "You helped me be strong, love."

"Did I?" Alex looked at the knife, softly running a finger over the tip. "I remember this knife. I remember who gave it to me. He was a doctor." Alex drew in a breath as the memory came back. He tried to relax and verbalize his feelings... maybe that would help. "His name was Dr. Wertzgaard, Wilheim Wertzgaard. He was the one who... when I was growing up and I... wanted love, he tried to..." Alex bit his lip, making it bleed, as time unraveled for him and for a moment...

He was there, on the bed, being held down, legs forced open and... it felt like they were going to tear him apart, split him in half. He screamed and cried, but they only held him tighter, slapping him, telling him this was love, the love he said he craved, the love he needed, the only love he'd ever know, and this was the way to get it...

"I was eight, I think, the first time? Maybe seven," Alex said in a small, uncertain voice, looking at Dustin with eyes wide.

Dustin felt tears coming to his eyes. "You know something? I killed him too, love." He moved until he was lying alongside Alex and took him in his arms, burrowing in against his shoulder as he spoke. "He thought I was you. You should have seen his face, my love. It was wonderful." He raised his eyes to Alex. "Let me kill Spender for you, Alex. I could do it, and you would be free."

Alex looked stunned. "Wertzgaard... dead...?" He smiled. "I hated that man. I always hated him." He laughed. "But me, free? Where've you been the past month or so? You must realize... I've finally realized... that I'll never be free. Never. Even if you could kill... him, there would always be another... and another after that. You know it's not just him, and he's not even the man in charge of... you know there are others?"

He stroked Dustin's cheek softly. "He took you to some meetings and stuff, didn't he, love? My God, what did he do to you, to my precious Little Cub, my love..."

"You're mine, Alex. Nobody else will ever have you. Not now, love. I can't bear to think of what you've been through. I'd kill them all for you. Just tell me who and I'll do it. Want me to bring that old bastard's cock back to you? I could cut it off for you and bring it back as a trophy. Would you like me to?" Dustin pushed himself up on one elbow, and cradled Alex's face in his hands.

Alex laughed, and punched Dustin's shoulder playfully. "Bring me Spender's cock. All right. Go on with you." He shook his head, bemused.

"You know, Dustin... you can be pretty funny when you try."

"You can think that I'm joking if you like, but I was never more serious. I hate him for the things that he did to you. He only took me downstairs once, and that was the day I left him. Next time I see him, he'll be a dead man." Dustin paused, hovering over Alex, willing him to hold him close and make love to him, not daring to make the first move.

"Then I will make sure you never see him again. Because he will kill you for sure if he sees you... I couldn't bear that." Alex ran a hand under Dustin's shirt, casually peeling it off, and over his head.

He scooted down, so he could lick at his lover's chest.

He froze, noticing burns on Dustin's nipples. "Love... he's hurt you." Alex growled. "For that, I'll k -" Suddenly he felt blinding pain in his head, and fell back, gasping. "What did he do to you..."

"It's nothing, love. Nothing at all. I told you. He did it once, and I left him. I wasn't going to permit him to treat me like a slave. I would be no use to you if he broke me." Dustin ran his fingers through the soft hair. "But he's so old. I could sever that old cock of his and bring it home to you. " He chuckled. "I could pretend, and he'd think I was you. Wouldn't that be a surprise? Let me be a surprise for him. Let me be the greatest and last surprise of his life. Let me bring you his cock, please, Alex?"

Alex twisted, arching up to meet Dustin's body. He ran his hand over Dustin's chest, reaching to lick at the burns on his nipples. "Love..." he said between licks. "If I did let you do this, you know that I'd have to be there. Near you. So he couldn't hurt you."

He took one of Dustin's nipples into his mouth, sucking at it, biting at it gently.

"Dustin... love. I worry about you... and I... I don't deserve someone like you. I deserve what I get... I must have done something, sometime, that I have to pay for..."

"Hush, Alex. Don't talk that way." He raised his face, desperately wanting to kiss, begging Alex's permission with his eyes. "You are the most precious thing in my life. You killed to set me free, and I will do the same for you."

"But... don't you see... you're going to die trying. Minnow... let's just say he wasn't much of a challenge." Alex smirked, then grew serious again.

"Minnow wasn't like Spender. Spender's smarter..." He paused to gather his thoughts. "Hey... does he know... does he know you're still alive, or does he think you're dead?"

"Oh, I'm sure that he knows I'm alive. You want to hear the story?" Dustin lay back down again. It was obviously not time yet for kisses. He felt curiously bereft, as if he was alone again.

"Yeah... tell me. Tell me the whole thing, baby," Alex said, alert now. He had to keep Dustin safe, and he was going to meet with Skinner and Mulder in two days... he needed to be sensible, in control. He bit his lip.

"I need to know what happened."

"He got mad with me because I didn't come for him. We'd been talking about you and I said that I loved you. He had me down in his cellar and burned me… beat me a little, and then he seemed to change his mind. He told me that he wanted me to help him and he took me with him to see a man called Skinner. He made me pretend to be you. He found out about some palm pilot thing that you have. I wasn't too sure about it, except that Spender was annoyed. Then he took me and showed me your room. Oh, Alex…" Dustin buried his face in Alex's neck. "I felt so bad for you." Dustin paused, his voice not quite steady.

"In the evening there was a party, and Spender told me I was to whore myself to this old man, in exchange for a fetus. Can you believe that? I didn't do it. I killed the old man instead and then ran. That's how I came to be here. I brought some of your things for you though."

"Oh, Dustin..." Alex looked away for a moment. Control, damnit, he had to keep control. Where was Sascha when you needed him?

"What was said at Skinner's, Dustin? That's important. Do you remember? And... who is Heitz, anyway? You never did tell me who he was."

"They wanted to know what Mulder is working on. That's all. It was the Oregon thing. The alien spacecraft… but you know all of that." Dustin sighed. "You know it already."

"Yeah, but the Palm Pilot... nanotechnology. He say anything about that?" Alex stroked Dustin's face.

Turning his face into Alex's hand, Dustin willed Alex to love him at last. "Not much," he admitted. "Only that you had it, and that you had used it to control Skinner. Skinner thought that I was you, and he hated me. I could see that in his eyes."

Alex chuckled at that. "Oh, boy, does he ever. Thing is what I'm doing, it's for his own good. He just doesn't know it yet." He bit his lip for a moment, then turned to Dustin, running a hand over his own shirt lazily. He'd lost weight while in the Middle East.

"Are you... are you still my slut?" he whispered, with a saucy grin.

He was back in control as Krycek now, and it felt great.

"Only yours, Alex." The response was whispered, Dustin's voice was too full of emotion to speak louder. "Yours for whatever you want of me."

Alex looked at Dustin from beneath his lashes. "Will you undress me, love? Slowly, so I can be happy to feel each soft touch of your skin... it's s good to be in your arms again."

Laughing, Dustin sat up, turning to run his hands over Alex's fine body, fingers straying to the buttons of his shirt and popping them open deftly as they traveled. Sliding his palms inside the shirt, he ran his hands up to push the shirt off his shoulders. "I love you, Alex." He dropped a kiss on Alex's shoulder and then transferred his attention to the pants, unbuckling the belt and opening the fly.

Alex moaned, and sighed. "God, Dustin... feels so good to know it's you there." As his fly was unzipped, he bucked forward, pressing his cock into Dustin's hand.

Dustin stroked it gently, and then turned his attention to the soft fabric of Alex's pants, easing them down over his hips and leaning forward to place a kiss on the rosy red penis head. He removed pants, underwear and socks, folding them neatly and laying them aside. When Alex lay wearing only his open shirt, he paused, drinking in the sight of his lover's arousal and shivering with the strength of his desire.

Alex looked up at Dustin, eyes dark with lust. "Do you know how beautiful you are?" He reached up to touch Dustin; bring him down for another kiss. He rolled, so he and Dustin were on their sides, lying together. Alex pressed his erection into Dustin's thigh, moaning. "Do you know how long I've waited for this? Every night... I wanted this." He kissed Dustin's lips. "And this." He gripped Dustin's cock in his hand.

"This." Alex passed the hand between Dustin's legs, and circled his asshole.

"And just this." He brought his hand up and wrapped it around Dustin's shoulders, squeezing tightly. "I love you..."

Dustin raised his face to offer his mouth to Alex, arching into his touch with something like desperation. He spread his legs wide and squirmed against Alex, willing him to touch him, tease him, take him.

"I've missed you so much, love. So damned much." He lay, eyes shining and lips parted, willing Alex to kiss him, and when Alex claimed his mouth, he moaned, and pushed his tongue against Alex's, tasting again the sweet mouth of his lover.

Alex felt as though he might cry from the joy of being in Dustin's arms again. "This feels... this feels so right, baby. So right." Alex ran his hand down again to grip Dustin's cock, stroking it firmly, slowly, teasingly. His own cock was hard, bursting. It jutted painfully against Dustin's hip. Alex trailed a finger back to Dustin's asshole, lightly, asking permission.

He pressed his finger into that tightness, feeling it close around him, snug.

"Baby," he said huskily. "Got any lube?"

Dustin didn't process the words for a moment, lost as he was in the joy of having Alex hold him again. Alex was home, safe, and loving him, and he was content to be in the warmth of his embrace, to feel the slippery passion of his kiss. Alex had to ask him again before he noticed, and then pulled away to reach for the small bottle that Alex had requested. Alex was going to make love to him, and he almost sobbed with joy.

He took the almost empty bottle and, not wanting to break contact, Alex fumbled it open while kissing Dustin passionately, tongue mapping every tooth as he applied the last of the lube to his cock, then to Dustin's ass. He stroked a finger, then another, into Dustin, scissoring them to loosen him. "Love, my love..."

Alex rolled so Dustin was below him on the bed, looking up. He gazed at him lustily, growling softly at the heart-stopping sight. He gripped his cock, and grinned.

"Spread 'em," he growled.

Deliberately, Dustin spread his knees wide and brought them up to wrap around Alex's body.

"Consider them spread," he murmured deep in his throat as he nibbled along Alex's jawline. Alex was going to erase the old man from his body. He was going to claim him again as his own, and Dustin found himself holding his breath as he waited for it to happen.

Alex ran his hand over Dustin's legs, over his knees and up to his thighs. He could hardly believe he was with his love again, but... here he was. He could feel the blood pulsing in his cock as he positioned himself just at Dustin's anus. Looking deeply into Dustin's eyes, he thrust in hard and fast, slipping in all the way to the root. He fell forward, nipping Dustin's neck and shoulders, and began to fuck him, slow and deep.

"So good, Dustin... you know how good you feel?"

Shaking with the need for his love, Dustin gazed up at him with eyes that shone with adoration. Raising his arms to pull Alex down he breathed into Alex's mouth.

"I know how good YOU feel. Do you have any idea how much I prayed for you to be here with me like this again?" He fixed his mouth to Alex's, moaning.

"I... if it's anything like the way I felt... God, Dustin. It's almost profane, now, but whenever I had to... you know... I used to imagine it was you. At night, I'd hug my pillow... and you know, one night I had this dream, it was so real..." He nipped Dustin's throat again. "But most of all I was afraid. Afraid you'd learn all my deep, dark secrets, and then you wouldn't want me anymore. I'm so thankful that's not true..."

He sped up his thrusts.

"God! Dustin! Fuck, yeah!"

"I dreamed of you too. At night, I took your knife to bed with me, because it made me feel closer to you, I was glad of that when Pyotor came. Every time that old bastard fucked me, I could only think of you, and how you'd suffered it. It kept me going." Dustin closed his eyes as his breath began to shorten. "Oh, God, do that, yes."

Alex ground his hips into Dustin, growling. "You're mine now, though. Never have to fuck him again. I'll make sure he doesn't touch you. You're too good for him." He thrust in harder, deeper, faster. "Too good for me, really, but if you're offering it to me, who am I to turn it down?" He bit at Dustin's neck, breath quickening as his balls drew up tight. He gripped Dustin's cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts.

The orgasm, when it hit, did so with an intensity that was all pervasive. Dustin's body locked up and all he could do was pant and scream Alex's name as the fire swept through him, igniting each nerve, boiling from his balls to force the flood of sperm from his body. Pleasure so intense that it stopped his breath spiraled up from the base of his spine along his cock and out to tingle everywhere in his body.

As the feelings finally began to fade, he raised his eyes to Alex, and held his gaze.

"God, I love you."

Alex flexed a final time before he shut his eyes... it was a sunburst, supernova, white-hot and blinding. The rush of pleasure temporarily took him away, away from his body, he felt light, floating, above all and only Dustin could reach him...

"Dustin... oh, Dustin," he called, over and over.

As he came down from the high, he brushed a kiss onto Dustin's sweaty forehead. "Love... my sweet love. I never want to leave you again."

Alex slipped out of Dustin, and they rolled a little so that they were face to face. "Leave me? Like I'll ever let that happen now. No, my lover, you are gonna stay here with me if I have to nail your foot to the floor." Dustin spoke with a grin, but there was no doubt in his mind that he meant it, for all of that.

Alex grinned back, and stroked his hand lightly over Dustin's flank. "You know what though? You were right about one thing. I am tired." He yawned, but tried to stifle it. "D'we have time for a nap?"

He looked at Dustin. "But first, tell me about our host. How long have you known him?" His tone was casual, and sleepy. He closed his eyes.

"It feels like forever," whispered Dustin, huskily. "He's been really useful for research into stuff for one of my daytime soaps. He gives me technical information that we are using in a whole bunch of the scenes. I don't suppose that soaps are your thing though." He grinned at Alex once more and stroked his face. "I couldn't sleep last night either. Too excited. A nap would be a wonderful idea."

Alex yawned again. "Can't say I watch soaps. Actually, I can't believe you'd produce one! Why do you? Money?" Alex sighed, and curled up against Dustin. Feeling sane and whole for the first time he could remember in a long time, Krycek began to drift towards sleep.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The dusk had cast shadows in the room when Dustin arose. Pulling on his clothes he dropped a kiss on Alex's brow and turned to descend for dinner, leaving Alex still sleeping deeply. Walking into the kitchen, he found that Karl had already arrived, and was sharing a glass of wine with Heitz. Taking the proffered goblet, he hooked a chair with his foot and parked himself at the table.

"He's sleeping now, but I'm so worried about him," he said.

Karl took a sip of his wine. "I'm worried about him, too," he said. "Last night he was so... he's not doing well. I don't know what they've done to him, but one minute he's in control, then he's Alexei, then Alyosha... Sascha even paid me a visit last night."

"Sascha? Who is Sascha?" Dr. Werber frowned and shook his head. "This is so complex." He beckoned to the two men to follow him into the dining room.

"He's the killer," said Dustin, succinctly. "He's the one that does what's needed when Alex can't cope."

Karl followed the men, swallowing. He didn't know how Dustin would take what he had to say next, but it had to be said.

Sitting down in a chair, Karl said, "When I got to Oregon I traced Alex's whereabouts through his car rental - I know several of his aliases, and he'd used one he used while a teenager. I don't know if that's significant or not. Anyway. I went to his hotel room to wait for him.

"When he came in that evening, he was Sascha. He came in, and, I'm sorry, there's really no other way to put this - Sascha raped me, against the wall, brutally. No preamble. He said... he said, 'You were always such a wimp. You and Alexei.' Then, after he came, he - went to Alexei. When he saw what he had done, he was fearful, ashamed. He scooted away as if I might hurt him, and said we had to hide from Sergei."

He looked at Dustin. "At which point I called you."

Werber placed covered dishes on the table and invited the two men to help themselves. He'd pursed his lips in thought as he watched them ladle rice and stir fry onto their plates.

"How often do these personalities manifest themselves? What do you think causes the transition between them?" He accepted the serving spoon from Dustin as he spoke.

"He was the little boy when I met him at the airport. He seemed edgy because he wasn't going to be taken straight back to Spender. It took forever to talk him out of it. He was trying to suck me off in the airport and didn't seem to know who I was. If Karl hadn't been there, I don't know what I'd have done." Dustin made a quick grimace as he described the scene. "I had to mislead him tonight. He thinks that you are an advisor for a soap, Heitz."

Karl looked at Dustin. "Do you think that's wise? When he realizes that you've deceived him --" He swallowed, remembering his own lies. "His programming is so deep. He really believes he has to get back to Spender. And if he doesn't, or if he has violent thoughts toward Spender, he becomes physically ill."

He met Heitz's eyes. "He thinks he's bad, and he thinks... I don't know. He thinks he's worthless."

He looked at Dustin. "How is he now?"

"He's sleeping. He was very tired after… after I took him up to the room. We both fell asleep together, and he was flat out when I left. Karl, let Heitz advise you about something on "Doctor, Doctor." That way we're not lying. He's so adamant that he doesn't want any doctors that might hurt him, I don't know how to stop him from getting upset when he finds out what we have planned." Dustin sat, fork in hand, not eating as he pondered what the solution might be.

Karl nodded. "Okay." He looked at Heitz. "Bet you never thought you'd sink so low as to be a consult on daytime TV," he cracked.

Then, to Dustin, "Upstairs... he was in control? Not Alyosha, or Alexei?"

"He was himself. He kinda came to himself as we got to the front door this afternoon, and by the time Heitz opened the door, he was in charge of his emotions again. We had another little skirmish later, when he started to talk about going to that old bastard again, but I somehow managed to sidetrack that." Dustin blushed. "Making love seemed to bring him to himself properly."

Karl felt a lump in his throat at the mention of Alex and Dustin making love, but he swallowed it. "He's probably worn out now. But I guarantee you, in the morning he'll want to go to see Spender."

He looked at Dustin. "What if you went in his place? Marita and I talked a bit last night. He has to meet with Skinner and Mulder tomorrow, and then see Spender again. What do you think? Can you do it?"

"We can arrange for Alex to be unable to go to his appointment simply enough, Dustin. I can provide you with suitable medication without problem. It would be best for him were he not to get into Mr. Spender's clutches." Dr. Werber spoke unexpectedly, startling Dustin, who had been pondering the question of whether he would be convincing impersonating Alex.

"They had no problems believing that I was Alex before. I fooled Skinner at the FBI. It's worth a try. I'll do it for Alex. I need a gun though. I won't go anywhere near him without a gun."

Karl nodded. "Marita will give you one. You'll be working with her - she'll be there, so at no time will you be alone with Spender. Or the others, for that matter. We discussed it quite a bit, actually. Marita understands the situation with Alex, and wanted me to convey to you that if she can be of any assistance, all we have to do is call."

"Marita?" Dustin shivered a little. He hadn't forgotten her attempts to teach him self defense. "She's going to get a kick out of this, isn't she? Wait ‘til I tell her what her lessons did for me." He took a tentative forkful of chicken and vegetables. "She taught me to kill in 10 easy lessons. I guess it's only right that I show her what I've learned."

Karl nodded. "Yeah, her prize pupil and all that. She's been worried about you two. Said John's been complaining cause she talks about you a lot." He laughed.

"Seriously, though. You feel you can do this? Sometimes, under drugs, Alex has bad dreams, or a 'bad trip'. While Dustin's gone, Heitz, how will you handle that?"

"Karl, I hope that I can convince you to be here with us while Dustin is out on his errand. It will be an opportunity to learn a little of Alex's condition." Dr. Werber took another mouthful of chicken, and paused to chew thoughtfully. "If he reacts to the situation, then it will be an opportunity for me to experience in person the type of psychotic break that occurs."

Nodding again, Karl considered. "I'll stay here, then, when Dustin's gone. For Alex." He met Dustin's gaze, holding it, wondering if Dustin knew how lucky he was to have Alex's heart. The familiar lump came up again, and he took a mouthful of rice.

After a few moments, he said, "I'll be here for Alex, for whatever he needs. You know that," he added softly, looking at Dustin.

"I know that it isn't for me. I know that it's Alex that you love. I don't know what to say to you, Karl. Thank you." Dustin laid down his fork and sat, head hung low.

Karl felt bad. He reached over and laid his hand over Dustin's wrist. "If Alex loves you, then... then I love you, too. Or at least I can't hate you. It's just..." Karl couldn't finish. He withdrew his hand, and looked down at his plate, suddenly having lost his appetite.

"So we agree?" Dr. Werber was busy collecting plates and dishes, and Dustin rose to help him carry them into the kitchen. "I'll add a little something to his coffee at breakfast tomorrow. Karl can assist me while you go and see the cause of all this commotion." He bent down to the oven and brought out a pie. "Would either of you like dessert?"

"Sure," Karl said. "Please. It smells delicious." He paused. "Alex will not appreciate you doping his coffee. What will you give him?"

"It would be best if we could give him Demerol. That works very quickly, but it needs to be administered intravenously. Perhaps," he swung round to face Dustin. "You would consider giving him such a shot?"

"I I could…" Dustin looked afraid. "I'll try."

"You'll have to be sneaky about it," Karl cautioned. "Maybe even give it to him in his sleep. I'm talking spy stuff here. But, you wanted to be a spy with him, didn't you, Dustin?" Karl said, just this side of nastily. "Now's your chance to prove how stealthy you can be. Prove you're good enough to be his partner."

There was a pause as Dustin raised his chin in the defiant gesture that had become second nature to him, and which made him look so much like Alex.

"If he believes that I'm good enough, Karl," he said, harshly, "that is good enough for me. I haven't noticed him asking for you lately."

"Yeah?" Karl said. "I bet he wouldn't push me away. Sascha took me last night." Karl wasn't sure what that proved, but he felt he had to say something. Dustin had stung him with his words.

"My bad. I thought that we were talking of Alex." Dustin was angry now... and it showed.

"Gentlemen, we are not going to assist Alex if we squabble, are we?" Dr. Werber spoke sharply, and Dustin had the grace to look a little shame-faced.

"I'm sorry, Karl. Guess I'm just afraid for him." Dustin stood up and began to clear away dishes, trying to distract himself from the worries he was facing.

"Yeah, me too. Sorry, Dustin," Karl mumbled. "I'm worried, too. I guess we're all under stress. But you're right, Heitz. We won't do Alex any good if we're at each other's throats." He began helping Dustin with the dishes.

Dr. Werber smiled and shook his head. Leaving the kitchen to the industrious pair he disappeared into his office, returning a few moments later with a syringe filled with liquid. He held it out to Dustin with a caution about ensuring that there was no air in the needle before injecting it. Dustin took it in its case, and slipped it into his pocket.

Karl watched Dustin take the needle, biting his lip. He hated to see Alex drugged, even though it was for the best. At least he'd be there during the day tomorrow.

He looked at Dustin as they put the last few dishes into the dishwasher. "I have to be getting back. I'm meeting with Marita tonight. Anything I should tell her? Is there a certain gun you like?"

"Yeah, a nice big one, with plenty of bullets," he said, only half joking. He went to Karl and hugged him briefly. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Karl hugged Dustin back, kissing his cheek. "Sure thing, Dustin. Say hi to Alex for me." He turned to leave.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Waking in the morning next to Alex was precious to Dustin. His first urge was to look his fill on his love, whose face had lost all stresses and anxieties in sleep, and was pure in repose. His next thought was for the needle that he had to use, and he quickly rolled to find the case he'd concealed between the mattress and the frame. Taking it into his hand, he prepared it quickly as he'd been shown, watching a little of the liquid ooze from the end, and then he took a deep breath, turned, and inserted it into the curve of Alex's buttock, depressing the plunger rapidly.

As fast as he could, he removed it and slipped it back under the mattress.

Alex moaned, and turned to face Dustin. "Ah. Musta hit something... how are you, pretty boy?" he smiled, reaching over to give Dustin a kiss.

Waking next to his love was the best feeling in the world, and he wanted to savor it. Even if he would have to leave later...

He ran a hand over Dustin's face, mapping it into his memory.

Closing his eyes, Dustin snuggled against Alex, slipping his arms around the man's warm body and burrowing against him.

"Feel really good. Think I'll just stay here with you all day and hold you like this," he murmured.

Alex snuggled in. "That'd be great. But I gotta go see my Daddy later. You know that." His head was beginning to feel swimmy, and his throat dry.

Quickly putting two and two together, he looked at Dustin as the drug began to take effect.

"You - you drugged me," he said simply.

"I love you," replied Dustin, holding Alex still as he attempted to push him away. "I can't bear to let you go near that man."

Alex moaned. "You drugged me. Don't you know *he* used to do that? What are you going to do to me while I'm under?" he spat, trying to get out of Dustin's embrace.

Releasing him, Dustin sat back, his face a mask of worry. "Don't you know me better than that, love? I won't do anything to you except love you. This is to save you, not to hurt you."

"Dustin... I love you. Please, don't hurt me..." Alex's voice trailed away. "Don't hurt me like he used to... that's all I ask." He couldn't think straight. His brain was fuzzy and he couldn't even see. He closed his eyes, but all he saw, all he smelled was the Pit... He sucked in a breath. "Don't... don't..."

"You're safe, Alex. Nobody will hurt you ever again." Dustin slipped out of the bed and began to dress, choosing his clothes with care, and topping them with Alex's fine woolen coat. Bending, he kissed Alex and then turned to leave the room.

"Love you..." Alex was fighting a losing battle to stay awake, because the Demerol was affecting him, putting him back into the Pit, back into hell, because he was being a bad boy, wasn't where he was supposed to be, no way...

**SLAM!* The key was turned in the lock behind him, and he heard Sergei's laughter. Whirling, he faced the man. There was Sergei, naked and huge, holding a knotted whip in one hand, a cattle prod in the other. There was nowhere to run...*

A small scream escaped him... little more than a gasp.

His eyes flew open. "Dustin, don't leave me here. Don't leave me to him. Please... please."

"Alex, Alex, don't let yourself slip. Hold on." Dustin stumbled back to the bed and sank to his knees, fumbling for his phone while he did so. His thumb hit the speed dial even while he was reaching for Alex, and by the time Karl had answered, he was holding Alex to him again.

"Karl? Are you on your way? I don't want to leave him alone. Please hurry."

Karl was instantly on his feet, though he'd been dozing when he answered the phone. Hoping to take a shower at Werber's later, he slipped into his clothes as he spoke. "Yeah, yeah. I can leave right now. What's up? How is he?" Dustin had sounded anxious and he heard Alex whimper in the background.

"He's had the Demerol, and he keeps begging me not to leave him with... someone. I can't tell who he means. I don't know what to do, but I'm scared to leave him alone. I need to have someone with him, someone who loves him." Dustin's voice faltered as he felt his throat close with the tears he was trying to hold back. "Just come, please."

Mackey finished shrugging into his jacket. "Leaving just now. Want me to stay on the line?" He left his room, and hurried out to the car.

Alex moaned softly. "Please.. I'll be a good boy... anything you want... anything... just don't hurt me..."

*Sergei sneered. "So, he'll be good now, eh? Now that there's real pain involved..." He reached for his groin with the cattle prod.*

On the bed, Krycek's body jerked, spasming from the electric shock that was so real in his mind. "Sergei... please, don't... I'll be good. I'll be *so* good. I'll suck off Vlad if you want me to, too. I'll do anything..."

*"Not a chance, boy."*

"Alex, Alex," Dustin called him, held his face and kissed him. "Alex, please come back to me. Alex, it's Dustin."

He left Alex's side reluctantly to go in search of Dr. Werber.

Alex moaned on the bed, curling into a ball, as, in his mind's eye, Sergei advanced on him with the whip...

*"No..." He tried to make himself as small as possible, knees to chest, arms around, head tucked in. Sergei sneered, and kicked his kidney, hard.*

*"Lie flat, boy, or kneel. You know how you're supposed to position yourself."*

Alex whimpered. "No more, please, no more..."

Dustin had found Dr. Werber, and now he ran back into the room with the doctor following close behind. Throwing himself to his knees again, he shook Alex's shoulder.

"Alex? Alex, it's Dustin."

Alex stretched out, obeying Sergei. He rolled, exposing his stomach. "Whatever you give me... I deserve it," he murmured.

He winced at imaginary blows.

Dr. Werber stood watching the two men for a minute, and then sat down beside Alex, saying in a firm voice, "Come Alexei, listen to your Daddy. This is no way to behave. You are frightening Dustin. Nobody will hurt you. Be good for your Daddy."

Alex's breath became tight, and he lay still. Then he began rolling his head around, till he found Werber's thigh. Reaching for his zipper, Alex murmured, "I'll be good. Just don' hurt me. I'll be *so* good, Daddy... I promise."

Dr. Werber's voice was sharp as he said, "Alexei? Do you hear me? Alexei? Listen to me. Your Daddy tells you that you must listen to my voice. You will sleep now, and when you awaken, you will be Alex, and the little boy within you will be content to be loved by Dustin. Do you understand me?"

Alexei swallowed. "I understand. Do you want me to suck you off first?" Sucking was a reflex, and it calmed him and soothed him to suck, as he'd learned from experience that was the way to get love, affection, and he was never hurt when he did that. When he was good. "Please... let me be good for you, Daddy."

"Alexei? You are a good boy today, and you need not work. Today is your day to play. Karl is coming to see you. You will like that, won't you?"

Alexei nodded. "Karl is fun. He's my best friend. Can I hold him? Will you let us lay in the sun, by the river?"

"If the weather is good, you may go with Karl to the river. If it is raining, you may stay and watch the TV. This is your day, Alexei. Now you need to sleep for a little while and when you wake up, Karl will be here to see you. Can you do that for me, Alexei?" As he finished speaking, Dr. Werber studied Dustin's strained face dispassionately. The man was close to breaking point, it appeared. This was a terrible thing that had been done to his lover.

Alexei nodded. "Sleep. Okay, Daddy. Thank you." A small smile touched his lips as Alex blissfully faded into safe, deep sleep... warm and cozy.

Dustin scrubbed at his eyes as he thanked the doctor, tiredness and tears both making them sting. Stooping to kiss Alex on the lips, he straightened and walked out of the bedroom, marching downstairs to keep Alex's appointments.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Marita was at the E Street Bar and Grille, as they'd arranged when Dustin called her cell earlier. She idly stirred her coffee as she waited for his arrival. When he came through the door, she started in spite of herself. He looked so much like Alex... even carried himself the same way, with that laconic smirk and arrogant gaze.

"Al - Dustin." She blushed.

"Hello, Marita." Dustin put out a hand to grip hers. "How was the Middle East? I hope you came back in better shape than Alex." He ordered a cappuccino and sat down beside her, looking around him as he did so.

Marita nodded. "I know I did. God, what they've done to him... What struck me most was the boy, Gunter, he tried to save. He... he tried..." Marita looked at him. "For all he's been through, he's such a good person. His heart is warm..." She looked away.

"Did you bring me a gun? I'm going to need one before the day is done."

"I brought you a Sig Sauer P228. I think you'll like it." She bent down and placed a mundane paper bag by his feet of the kind that millions of mothers use to pack their children's school lunches every day.

Over the table, she passed him a file folder. "This is what Krycek found in Oregon. He sent it to me. I need you to read and memorize this, because you'll have to talk to Mulder with some authority."

He took the gun and put it in his pocket, still in its paper bag, then opened the file. Slowly the pages turned as Dustin began to read. After a few minutes, he raised his head again. "Marita, what is Mulder to Alex? Were they lovers? Why does Mulder hate him?"

Marita sighed. "They were lovers. Alex... really loved him. Mulder was arrogant, taking what he could from Alex, blowing hot and cold on him, generally jerking him around. God. Sometimes when I talked to him... there was such pain. By all rights, Alex should hate Mulder, but against all reason, he still seems to love him. To hold out hope... Alex was assigned to Mulder, as a partner, in 1994, as an attempt to sabotage the X-Files. Instead, he found love, a haven, a way out... or so he thought. Poor Alex. He couldn't see how single-minded Mulder was. He was like a puppy. Spender punished him for that... for failing his mission. But Spender wasn't exactly playing fair. He never told Alex anything." Marita looked away. "I know you'll treat Alex better than Mulder. He doesn't need to be hurt again."

Dustin read over the notes once more, saying nothing as he committed the information to memory. He'd got a score to settle with Mulder then, had he? Well, he would see. He turned to Marita once more.

"Do you actually believe all of this stuff? Aliens? Abductions? Isn't it all a bad sci-fi night?"

Marita frowned. "Dustin. You have to understand. This is very real. Not sci-fi at all." She sighed. "You've been in Hollywood too long, you know that?"

"The aliens *are* real, and I promise you, they *are* taking people. I've seen it. I know how it sounds, but I can't deny what I've seen. And had in me. I had the Oil in me, Dustin. That's proof for me. I've also seen them gestate inside of people, at Consortium facilities. That's also proof. And I've seen the results when one gestates in an uncontrolled environment. I'd show you, but right now I really don't have time. Later, if you really want to know."

Pale faced and tight lipped, Dustin handed her back the file in silence. Sliding from his chair and almost consciously affecting Alex's sensual mode of movement, Dustin stood waiting for Marita.

"Okay. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Shall we go and do it?" He projected a confidence that he was far from feeling as he assisted her to rise and then took her elbow to lead her out of the café.

"We shall. Thank you, kind Sir." She smiled. "You're doing great," she said. "Hey. Even I thought you were Alex at first. And Skinner thought you were Alex." They crossed the street, and walked towards the Hoover building.

Alex might have known the Hoover Building, but Dustin had only been there once before. He took the badge that Marita passed to him and affixed it to his coat, then followed her down into the parking lot beneath the FBI building. As she used her pass to operate the elevator, he felt the strange fluttering of nerves inside his belly. This was really happening.

Marita smiled at Dustin, playfully, to put him at ease. "Relax. The first thing they teach you in spy school is that if you walk with purpose, and as if you have every right to be where you are, then you can pretty much go where you please."

"Yeah?" Dustin paused for a minute, his hand pressed to his forehead, and then he straightened up, and strode forward once more, assuming Alex's strut to the degree that Marita stopped and stared, causing him to turn and look back at her. "What?" he asked, a grin on his face.

"You do that so well. I feel I'm with my partner again." She smiled. "We worked really well together. I know you're going to take him to safety... but damn, I'm gonna miss him. He's a good agent, as well as a friend." She led him to the elevator, and pressed the button for the floor where Skinner's office was. "We'll go to the basement with Skinner after this."

She smiled. "I'm sorry. I just can't get over how much like Alex you are. How much you've picked up."

Dustin paused for a moment, a desolate look on his face. "He was so sad today. I may save him, but he won't ever want me again, I betrayed him and he was right out there with all the pain and agony he's ever experienced." He raised pained eyes to her. "I had to, don't you see that? I couldn't let him go back to Spender."

Marita nodded. "He used to have the most frightful nightmares. Tossing, turning, crying out. All I could do was reassure him as best I could, and I felt so damned helpless. He never… He never had a chance to..."

She bit her lip. What was this? She was usually the Ice Queen. She raised her eyes to Dustin's; unable to mask her emotions so she didn't even try.

And, at this point, she hoped she and Dustin were beyond that.

"I know you wouldn't ever do anything to hurt Alex. I... I once betrayed him to keep him from Spender, too. The Englishman took him... my father. He almost seemed to have gotten through to him. He wanted to kill Spender. My father told him not to. I didn't know why until later, when he sacrificed himself to Mulder's crusade, giving his life for Scully's." She sighed. "We've all lost people in this game, Dustin. Why do we do it? I guess I got into it... I was ambitious and idealistic. Straight out of college... I was a fool."

There was a moment of silence that neither of them seemed to want to break, and then by mutual consent, they resumed their path. "What do you think that Spender wants this damned UFO for, Marita?" Dustin seemed nervous, babbling without thought as if he needed to hear his own voice in order to prove he still existed. They stepped into the elevator and Marita selected the third floor.

Marita narrowed her eyes. "I think he means to save his own sorry skin and sell out humanity for his own gain. All he wants is power. You know, it would almost be worth it, poetic justice, for him alone to be spared, so he alone would be human, as he watched the aliens enslave and then take over the rest of humankind. He's such a fucking greedy bastard," she said in a voice full of pain. "He uses you, and he uses you, until there's nothing left, and then he uses you some more. Then, when you're lying there, wishing to die, he suddenly makes you well again, so he can do it all over."

She looked at Dustin. "You wanna know what the Consortium is, Dustin? It's hell. I mean it. Agony for all eternity." She looked at him.

"You know we're going to kill him, right?"

His face as he met her eyes was as cold and remote as ever she'd seen Alex's. It was an expression she'd never seen before on Dustin's face, and she was taken aback. When he smiled, the cruelty on his face was unmistakable.

"Oh, dear me, yes. He's going to die. It won't be long, but I know that he's going to die." He relaxed, and his expression returned to rest. "He seems to want this Fox Mulder to be around, doesn't he? You'd think that with the kind of annoyance he's been to Spender's plans that he'd have blown him away long ago. Why do you suppose that is?"

Marita sighed. "Who knows for sure? Hah. Who am I trying to kid? He's... I believe... Spender may be Fox's true father. Certainly he was Samantha's." She raised her eyes to Dustin's. "Don't look so surprised. You know how Alex grew up, always being goaded to be better than Fox, who Spender happily showered with love and praise, and scarcely looked at Alex, even when he beat Fox. It was what was expected, nothing special. But Fox... Fox was coddled. And not even aware. True, they were young and Spender called Alex a different name, but when he saw Alex again, as his partner, he didn't even fucking remember him. The boy he'd played with, seen hurting... he never cared for Alex. And Alex... always looked up to Fox. I always hated him for that. He should have been taken, not his sister, and spared Alex the heartache." Her jaw was set firmly as she barely contained her emotions.

"He tried so hard..."

"You think that he cares about this Mulder guy, or is it all just another way of putting my Alex down?" The cold gleam was back in the green eyes, and he had an air of arrogance about him that was perfectly in character. He recognized the corridor, recognized the door that lay part way along it. This was where he'd come with Spender that day.

Marita knocked on the door and then entered without waiting, leaving Dustin to follow after her. The blonde woman at the desk looked up at them and frowned, stabbing a button on her telephone and starting to speak.

Marita paused outside the door and whispered to him, "Who, Alex? Alex loves Mulder, it's hero worship. As for Spender... I really don't know, but I'd have to say he feels *something* for him, to have helped him covertly so many times. And he certainly was also a great way to hurt Alex. But, yes, I think Spender has a soft spot for Mulder. He's his hope for the future. I'll explain later... for now..." She smiled, her eyes saying she thought she knew what he had in mind. Taking out a palm pilot, she slipped it to him and then walked straight into Skinner's office as though she had every right to be there.

Kim protested, and was ignored.

Skinner had been seated behind his desk, but as they entered the room he half rose, as he saw who the intruders were. His face took on a look of supreme disgust, and he sneered as he sank backinto his seat.

"Back so soon, Krycek? What now? Have you come to finish what you started?" Skinner frowned as his eyes darted from Marita to Dustin and then returned.

"Not today, Walter," said Dustin in a husky whisper. "Today, I need to see Mulder. There's a ship that the old man is tracking, and I believe that it's time to let him in on the secret. He won't find it on his own."

"It's cloaked in an energy field," Marita said. "Very delicate, very hard to detect. But there. In plain sight. We were there, standing right on it, and didn't even know it. If it weren't so sad I'd laugh."

"Agent Mulder doesn't need your help," spat Skinner, still glaring at the man he thought was Krycek.

"You don't have a choice, Walter," Dustin pulled the palm pilot from his pocket with one leather-gloved hand. "Bite the bullet and do it now." There was a moment's pause, and Dustin sighed, making a move towards the pocket computer, and Skinner finally stood, snarling.

"Come on," he growled.

Marita looked at him coolly. "So the rumors that you're a sensible man are true." She followed him out of the office, her movements fluid as she looked over her shoulder at Dustin.

Down into the basement they went, by way of a different elevator this time. Marita's heels echoed, alarmingly loud on the composition floor, and Dustin felt each heel-strike as though it were a bell ringing his doom. All of a sudden his mouth was dry and he wondered how he was going to cope. It was too late, Skinner was already leaning against the doorway to a room, talking to someone.

He didn't hear the gist of the conversation, but when Skinner beckoned, he walked forward, gritting his teeth. As he rounded the corner and entered the room to get his first look at Fox Mulder, his chin went up, and he found himself smiling a very unpleasant smile as he met Alex's ex-lover's eyes for the first time.

"Agent Mulder! I think you should listen to him." Skinner's voice was firm, and he betrayed none of his dislike as he attempted to have the seated man pay attention.

Mulder flew to his feet, clenching a fist and coming around towards Krycek. As usual, there was the desire to fuck him as well as pummel him, but right now, after the day he'd had, he was in no mood for sex. Narrowing his eyes, he glared at Krycek, nostrils flaring. In his rage he scarcely noticed Marita, who stood to one side, watching.

Dustin sauntered into the room, and stood, body language challenging Mulder. Then he began to speak, "You've got every reason to want to see me dead." He stood unmoving as the FBI agent erupted from behind his desk and boiled toward him. Skinner unexpectedly caught and held him, much to Dustin's relief. "But you've got to listen to me now. You have a.singular opportunity."

Mulder jerked out of Skinner's grasp, and went for Krycek again. Lust and rage... he glared at Krycek. "Here or you want to step outside?" he said with a snarl.

Dustin suddenly found himself trying not to laugh at the man who was squaring up to him. He had a look in his eye that was very like the Smoker's. Dustin suddenly realized that he could convince this man, because he knew that at the bottom of his heart, Mulder wanted him longed for him with a kind of sick revulsion at his own lusts that made him easy prey. He smiled again, and stepped closer.

Mulder started towards Krycek again. That saucy look always got to him, made him itch to beat it off Krycek's face?

Marita fixed him with a cool gaze, looking at him levelly. "Agent Mulder," she said evenly. "CancerMan is dying." You have no idea how happy I am to say that, she thought.

Mulder looked at Skinner, who shook his head slightly and stepped back.

Marita continued in the same cool tone. "His last wish is to rebuild his Project, to have us revive the Conspiracy. It all begins in Oregon."

Mulder stared at Marita. What the hell was she talking about? He'd been all over those woods.

The papers had said Mulder had just returned from Oregon. It was amusing to Dustin that he could rip his investigation apart in this manner. "The ship that collided with that Navy plane. It's in those woods," he said, still smirking.

Mulder glared at him. Damn the man for having him on. "There's no ship in those woods," he said disgustedly.

"Yeah, it's there. Cloaked in an energy field and we wait while he mops up the evidence." He stepped in closer to Mulder, willing the other man to hit him, kiss him, break in some small way.

Mulder looked at Krycek, lust showing through the rage more now, as he thought for a moment. Someone must have... "Who?" he asked, too quickly.

"The Alien Bounty Hunter. Billy Miles. Teresa Hoese, her husband." Dustin moved closer to Mulder, feeling the want radiating out of him. "He's eliminating proof of all the tests. We're asking ourselves, ‘Where are they?'" He pitchedhis voice more intimately, drawing Mulder like a moth towards him. "They're right there. They're right under our noses. I'm giving you the chance to change that, to hold the proof."

Mulder felt weak in the presence of the man who always got under his skin. He said softly, "Why me and why now?" It was as much about Krycek's proximity as about the UFO.

To Dustin, the question was cathartic. He raised his eyes again, to meet snapping hazel in a look that made him quiver. Only truth would do. "I want to damn the soul of that Cigarette Smoking Son-of-a-Bitch."

A shadow appeared in the doorway. Dana Scully looked at the assemblage, startled to see Krycek there, of all people. The blonde she didn't know. She looked at her partner, arching a brow slightly.

"Mulder?"

Mulder took his eyes off Krycek reluctantly as he turned and looked at her.

Dustin studied the short, red haired woman. So this was the famous Scully who had featured in the files he'd read. She didn't look too happy. He dropped back out of the limelight and left Mulder to deal with her as he wanted. He had plenty of time.

"Oh, ah, hi Scully," Mulder said, a bit flustered. "I, ah, I just - Krycek has some information that could help in our case."

Scully looked at him with a mixture of concern and disgust. "Mulder, Krycek is not only a liar, he's a murderer. How many times has he gotten you in trouble when you've listened to him? I mean - I mean, look what happened when you went to Russia, Mulder, you could've been --"

"Yeah, and a truck could hit me as I go across the street for a cup of coffee. He says he can help us find the ship."

Scully shook her head, and together, she and Mulder began to walk down the hall

Lips pursed in amusement, Dustin leaned against the wall and waited for Mulder to return. That he would return was a sure thing. He met Marita's eye, and gave her a look that suggested she take Skinner away and let him work alone on Mulder. Once the initial discomfort had been faced, Dustin could tell that the man would do exactly what he wanted.

Marita nodded to Dustin with a sly smile. She took Skinner's arm. "Come on, Sir. We should talk to Scully about this, as well." She led him out of the room, as Mulder stepped back towards Krycek, eyes dark. He breathed heavily, almost tempted to take the man and throw him on the desk, but he wanted to wait... see if Krycek would offer himself, as he had so many times before.

Krycek was a glutton for punishment, and Mulder knew it was sick, but he wanted to hurt him…

"I can find it for you, Mulder," whispered Dustin, his voice intimate as he seduced with gestures intended to soothe, to captivate. "It's waiting for you, all the truth you've dreamed about." He smiled gently, guilelessly, and stepped in close to stand beside Mulder. "You want it. You've always wanted it. Let me give it to you."

Mulder gasped. "I want it... I want *you*, Krycek. I've always wanted you..." There. He'd cracked... as he always did. Now he had to finish it... he grabbed Krycek by his coat and kicked the door shut. Then he dragged Krycek across the room, to the far wall. He ground his hips against Alex's as he held him pinned there, biting his neck, his ear.

"Krycek... what do you want?"

"What do I want? I want Spender in hell. I want him to lose everything that he's worked for, and I want to be there to smile and nod." Dustin grinned and cupped Mulder's face with his right hand. Better not to use the left, he remembered. Mulder would notice. He noticed everything.

Leaning forward, he paused with his mouth a fraction of an inch from Mulder's full lips.

"Tell me how much you want it."

"Oh, Alex..." Mulder ground himself harder against Krycek, insistently. With an arm wrapped around his chest, he steered Krycek to the desk, bent him over it and started fumbling with his black jeans. "Krycek... you know how much I want you. I've wanted you since the day I met you. You're so beautiful... so sweet. So..."

Mulder kicked Krycek's legs apart with a knee as he reached to undo his own fly. His cock was straining for release, and he gasped as he watched a drop of precum appear on the head.

Rubbing his cock between Krycek's ass cheeks, he leaned over him. "You ready, lover?"

With a twist of his hips, he was inside, fucking Krycek's ass, his tight, clutching ass, so hot on his cock... he sped up, knowing he was hurting Krycek a little. He reached down to kiss Krycek's face...

The man was totally insane, thought Dustin. He was so unstable emotionally that it was no wonder that he was chasing UFOs. He pulled the FBI agent down and possessed his mouth as he writhed under his ministrations.

Tearing away again, he lowered his lashes, smoldering at Mulder as the other neared his climax.

Mulder began to grunt in time to his thrusts, catching Krycek's ear in his teeth. "You're such a bad boy, Krycek. I need to punish you... show you who's boss. You know you've always been my bad boy, right?" He bit Krycek's neck as he thrust even harder into him. "Such a bad boy, never could resist you..."

Coming forcefully into Krycek's ass with a yelp, he held himself against the other man, feeling his cock pulse inside Krycek's gut, and his semen slicking his walls...

"Oh," he said, catching his breath, hugging Krycek. "Oh, Krycek. Alex..."

Dustin hadn't come wasn't even close. He growled his frustration. "You fucker. You can do better than that."

He half stood, seized a fistful of Mulder's clothing, and pulled the agent in towards him, to breathe in his ear. "You didn't wait for me, Mulder. I didn't get off. Come on!" He writhed against Mulder. "Think I'm going to tell you my secrets for that?"

"My, my. Aren't we demanding today?" Mulder growled, drawing back his hand and slapping Krycek's ass. "How do you want it, boy? Roll over and let me hold your legs up." He moved to turn Krycek over, sending a stack of papers flying to the floor. Muttering a curse, he stared down at Krycek, open for him... his cock waiting... waiting. "What do you want, Krycek?"

He took Krycek's cock in his hand, jerking it slowly.

"Hold your legs up, boy."

He put his fingers into Krycek's ass, then worked him slowly, feeling himself get hard at the sight...

"Oh, Krycek. Anything for you."

He withdrew his fingers, and drove into Krycek, hard, sending more papers and a coffee mug to the floor.

"Krycek, Krycek, Krycek," he chanted, fucking his ass hard, stroking his cock in one hand, biting his neck... lifting up his shirt to bite a nipple fiercely. "What a bad boy you are, Krycek. Feeling that? Is that what you want?" Pounding into Krycek harder, he bit his other nipple. "Or do you want it against the wall... whore? You know you're my whore, Krycek. You just let me take you, over and over..." He slapped Krycek's ass again, crying out in pleasure. "So good baby. So good."

Dustin concentrated on keeping his temper. Never had he felt such anger at a man. This jerk had hurt his lover, had put him down for years and years, and now was treating him like some kind of sub. His Alex was no sub. He would make Mulder pay for this. He straightened up, easing Mulder's cock out of him.

"You need to learn how to do it, Mulder. You don't seem to have a clue." The sneer was unmistakable. "Premature ejaculation never made you any friends."

Mulder growled. Krycek had forgotten his place, it seemed... he slapped Krycek's ass, his legs, pinched his cock.

"Do you want to fuck me, whore? Is that it? You know, I should have shot you long ago. You're lucky I love you, find you attractive."

He breathed heavily, then dove in, capturing Krycek's mouth in his, sucking hard, and then, finally, after seeming to suck the man's tongue down his throat, he broke away, and panted, "Never could get enough of you." He kissed Krycek again. "You want it against the wall, baby?"

Dustin laughed harshly, and balled up his fist, punching Mulder in the gut. As the other man grunted and folded neatly in half, he followed through with a blow to the back of the agent's neck.

"I'm going to show you how it's done, Mulder. You'll thank me for it when I'm through." He grabbed Mulder by the collar and hauled him up and over the desk. "You need to learn how it feels, Mulder. "

He spread the cheeks of Mulder's ass, and blew on the spot that he intended to penetrate, and then moved in to lick delicately, remembering every caress that Alex had ever given him. This jerk would never have him again, but he would remember this, and he would cry for him. His skillful hands began to touch and probe as he held Mulder in place.

"When you start to beg, I'll let you come, Mulder, but not until then."

Mulder sighed. His lover knew how to get to him... even when his gut and head were pounding, he could never resist Alex. Spreading his legs to give Krycek better access, he writhed against his lover's mouth. "Oh, yes, Alex. Oh, yes. You do that so well." He looked back, at Krycek's face. "Baby."

"Mulder, shut up!" Dustin ran hands the length of Mulder's torso, stroking the smooth skin. He pushed the fine white shirt up to reveal the sinewy back, and then removed his belt, doubling it up in his fist. Stepping back, he brought it down on the satiny skin of Mulder's rounded ass with a practiced flick of his wrist, laughing when Mulder jerked away and cried out. "Beg me; go on!" He lashed Mulder again, close to his balls this time.

"Alex!" shouted Mulder. This wasn't like his lover... his lover who always let him have his way with him, taking what scraps of affection were thrown him, looking at Mulder with eyes like a kicked puppy... made the predator come out in Mulder, and all he wanted to do was hurt him...

"Alex! Do it to me, Alex!" Mulder bit his own wrist. He would not break for Krycek... let him have his little rebellion. He'd get his own back soon enough...

"Oh, I'll do it to you, all right." Dustin felt the fury seethe through him and he began to lash Mulder over and over again, watching the droplets of bright blood appear at the edges of the weals he was painting over the canvas of the other man's trunk. "I'll do it, and do it, and do it." Each time he spoke, he brought the belt down on Mulder until the previously white globes of his buttocks were red and bloody. "Go on! Ask me, cunt!"

"You bastard!" Mulder hissed through his teeth. "I'll get you for this, Krycek." He sneered. "D'you think your Daddy would like to know how you're treating me, Alex? Alex, would he hold you and love you at last? Do you think that he would?" He writhed under the lashes. "Yeah. I've heard you late at night... you curl up in a ball and beg your Daddy to love you. You ask him why he didn't... and one time... one time you said... FUCK!" Mulder yelled as he took a particularly hard stroke. "I'll tell him, Alex. You know, you really gotta learn ... DAMN!... not to talk in your sleep. WHORE!"

"Whores get paid," gritted Dustin between his teeth. "This is a labor of love." He studied the raw, red mess that was Mulder's ass, and deliberately turned the belt around so that now the ends with the metal tag and the buckle would strike. "You need to learn about love, Mulder." He brought the makeshift whip down yet again. "You need to learn to beg."

"You used to love me to call you whore," Mulder said, voice cracking. "You begged me to. You said you were a bad boy and... Krycek! Krycek... please, Alex, Alex... Lover... I'm serious... that hurts." Mulder groaned, his ass was really hurting now, but he wasn't done yet. "What do you - AH - mean, I gotta learn about love?" He tried to roll over. "Krycek. Let me see your face. Krycek... please..."

"Yes, it hurts. Are you going to beg?" There was a long drawn out pause, then Dustin threw down his belt and pulled up his pants, fastening the button and sliding the zipper closed once more. "Maybe you don't actually want me. Maybe you just get off on hurting the vulnerable. Well, at least you learned something about yourself, Mulder. You should be grateful to me."

Mulder spat. "You think I like to hurt you, Krycek? I only did to you what you asked me to." He looked at Krycek. "Treated you the way you wanted to be treated."

"It's time for a change, Mulder. I don't want that any more. " Dustin turned away. "I don't want anything like that, ever again."

"What... just tell me what you need, Krycek. I love you. You know that." He hung his head. "C'mere," he said. "C'mere, let me hold you. I'm sorry, Alex... I didn't mean it."

His anger was fading at last. There seemed to be a middle ground where they could meet, and Mulder would not die today, at any rate. He swung back to where Mulder stood, inwardly wincing at the mess he'd made of the other man's behind.

"You never do, Mulder, but it's always someone else who gets hurt."

Mulder nodded. "Sometimes I... need someone. You were there... right there. I... you drew me in." He walked over to Alex. "I love you," he whispered. "But now... if what you said is true... we gotta go find some stuff out. I know just who to ask..."

He didn't want to stop to analyze what Krycek had said. He might not like what he discovered. He gingerly began to put his pants back on. "Damn, Krycek."

Suddenly feeling like a heel, Dustin moved sinuously to pull Mulder in against him and kissed him on the mouth, a long, deep, passionate kiss that seemed to last an eternity.

"When all of this is done, you and I will lie down together for once as equals, and neither one will hurt the other, right, Mulder?"

"If that's what you want, Krycek." Mulder wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him close. "I swear to you... I'll keep you safe. I love you... you should never be hurt if you don't want to be." He kissed Krycek softly, his cheek, his neck, his forehead, his eyes... soulful eyes. "Kry -- Alex." He held him close. "I know - I know your Daddy loves you. Somewhere inside, he must love you." He kissed Krycek's chin, and rested his head on his shoulder.

"When all of this is done…" repeated Dustin. He stood holding Mulder, wondering how long he would need to do so, and then at last he released him. "Come on then. We need to find the people you know see if we can work out where the spaceship is. We don't have a lot of time.

Mulder nodded. "No, I guess... I guess we don't." He suddenly felt sheepish, and grabbed a file folder that, miraculously, had not fallen off his desk. "Let's go." He opened the door.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Alex opened his eyes. He was still hazy from the drugs, drifting in and out of sleep, and clarity. But his thoughts...the drug was calling forth images and smells and sounds that scared him. He supposed they could be memories, but he didn't remember them at all. They were nightmarish... like a recurring dream.

When he tried to reach out, to analyze them, they evaporated into vapor trails of dread and longing.

He realized he wouldn't get any sleep at the moment and needed to get up to prevent the images from popping to mind. He got up slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hand until the sensation of vertigo subsided.

Once he felt he could, he stood up somewhat shakily and walked out of the room, placing a hand against the wall for support. Nearing the top of the stairs, he suddenly felt dizzy again, and had to grasp the cherry wood bookcase against the wall to steady himself.

He stood, head down, just trying to get himself together for a few minutes. His eyes drifted to the bookshelf, and he read some of the titles Applied Hypnotherapy; Regression Hypnosis and False Memory Syndrome; Real Memories or Mere Suggestion? - Telling the Difference; Regression Therapy and the Abuse Survivor; The Hypnotized Mind.

He sank down onto his heels. So, the man was a therapist. Dustin had taken him to a goddamn therapist. He bit his lip, thinking.

Well, maybe this man could help him. With the way he was feeling, he certainly couldn't get any more fucked up. He sighed, and took out the book Repressed Memory Recovery through Deep Regression Hypnosis. He sat on the top step of the flight of stairs, flipping through the pages.

He heard Dr. Werber approaching the bottom of the stairs, and he looked up, a little embarrassed. He quickly put the book back, and smiled sheepishly. "Hi," he said.

"Hello, Alex. You were finding my books interesting, I see. Would you like to read some of them? That's quite all right, you know." Werber leant comfortably on the banister rail and smiled up at Alex. "Dustin was hoping that you would find something of interest to you. Let me know if I can get anything for you. Would you like breakfast? Coffee?"

Alex swallowed. "Sure, um... what do you have?"

*You know better than to ask for food, boy.*

He jerked his head as Sergei's voice came to him. He looked at Werber. "You're a doctor, aren't you?"

"I am a type of doctor, yes." Werber smiled again. "Let me see, I have eggs and bacon, or toast, or cereal, or practically anything you might want, within reason. Come, let's go into the kitchen and I'll find you something to eat."

Alex got up, and shakily gripped the railing. As he came down the stairs, slowly, he looked at Dr. Werber. "I - you - you know I've been having some problems." He blushed. "I don't - I don't understand what's happening to me."

He had reached the bottom of the stairs, and looked at Werber through wide, frightened eyes. "I'm seeing things... hearing things... feeling things..."

"Come, Alex." Werber turned and led the way into the kitchen, and gestured for him to take a seat. "Let me see. We have eggs. Would you like to have eggs?" He poured a coffee and passed it to Alex. "Do you want to tell me about the things that are worrying you?"

Alex sat down, and played with the coffee cup. It smelled good... reminded him of... no. Stop.

He looked at Werber. "It's... memories? Of things I don't remember. I know how that sounds, but there's no other way to put it. And sometimes... sometimes I feel like... like a child..."

"You have memories that you think are from someone else, Alex? That sounds interesting. Why do you suppose that is?" He began to crack eggs into a bowl and added some chopped herbs to the mix. "I think that an omelet might be good, hmmm?" He set a skillet on the stove and added a little butter, then got bread ready for toasting.

Alex salivated at the pleasant aromas coming from the stove. "I... I don't know, Doctor," he said, hesitantly. "I feel... I feel like..." He swallowed, as a wave of fear, of a memory, crashed and broke over his consciousness. "I feel afraid..." he finished in Alyosha's voice. "Please, don't hurt me."

There was a pause during which time Dr. Werber grated cheese, buttered toast and flipped the omelet. When he was finished, he slid the food onto a plate and put it in front of Alex, handing him cutlery without a word.

"Nobody will hurt you, Alex. You are safe now. You can tell me what bothers you, if you like." Dr. Werber's voice was soft.

Alex stared at the food, swallowing. God, he was so hungry... he looked up at Dr. Werber. "I... I'm not allowed to eat, you know. My daddy... my daddy feeds me. He says he has to keep me hungry so I'll do my work."

He looked down at the food. It smelled so good... his stomach growled.

"He probably is doing this to tempt me, to trick me. He does that, you know."

All of the above was said in a dull childlike monotone, like a recitation.

"Daddy said I'm a very bad boy if I eat anything unless he gives it to me. If I do, he hurts me. He... ties me down, and he... he hurts me..."

His voice began to get higher in pitch, and Alyosha stood up, backing towards the hall. "I want to be a good boy. Don' wanna be hurt."

As he backed away from the food, Karl, who had heard the voices, came into the kitchen in time to hear his last statement.

"Come, Alyosha, you're not being polite to Dr. Werber." Karl put his arms around Alex and kissed his cheek softly, then led him back to the breakfast bar. "Didn't we tell you? Today is a day for you to play. You must eat your breakfast now, like a good boy."

"No..." Alyosha whimpered. "You're trying to tempt me, so I'll be bad... please, please don't. Please, let me be good. Please, Doctor. I can be so good for you. I always am, aren't I?" He walked to Dr. Weber and sank to his knees, fumbling with the doctor's fly.

Sucking them off was his safety, his comfort. They never hurt him for that, for being good. And sometimes... sometimes Mama even hugged him afterwards...

Taking Alex's hand, Dr. Werber leant down to kiss it gently. "Thank you for your kind offer, Alex, but I have no need for relief at the moment. Listen to me." Releasing Alex, he placed his own hands against Alex's cheek, tilting his face until the lost green eyes met his. "You will eat because I will it. You will not be harmed for this, because I will it, and you will be content. Now, I wish that you will be good for your Daddy."

Looking over Alex's shoulder to where Karl was standing, he shook his head gently as Karl started forward. "You need not fear, Karl. Alex will be a good boy; won't you, Alyosha?"

Alex blinked, slowly. He swallowed. Looking into Dr. Werber's face, he saw emotions that were rarely directed at him - compassion, concern. He nodded. "Just - just tell me what to do," he said softly, lowering his eyelids.

"To begin with, you must eat your breakfast." Dr. Werber had taken juice from the fridge and now pushed a glass over to Alex. "Then we can have a cozy chat together, the three of us, and decide how best we can help you, Alex. Dustin wants you to be happy."

Alex nodded, and got up. He walked back over to his chair. He felt in a daze, dissociated. Like an automaton.

He took up his fork, and looked at Dr. Werber. "You know what's happening to me. Tell me, please, before I lose my mind completely."

Even as he said it, though, he wondered if he'd already lost it.

"You've been brainwashed, Alex. You've had your thoughts shaped and altered. I can help you, but much of the work must come from you." Dr. Werber prompted Alex, one hand just touching his elbow. "Dustin will be home later, but we have plenty of time. Perhaps we can talk about this after you eat?"

Karl moved to sit next to Alex, and watched him as he began to eat. "You'll be fine, Alex. You're going to be free. You're going to feel great!"

Alex ate as if he hadn't eaten in days, wolfing down the food. Left to his own devices, he always ate quickly - it was an instinct, born of his early conditioning.

He looked at Werber. "I... I'm going to need help," he said softly.

Turning to Karl, he asked, "Do you... you know about this?"

Karl was taken aback. "Of course I do, Alex. I know what they did to you. I know what they did to me too. Those bastards. I've prayed for years that we could help you get over it, but it was only in the last couple of years that I've been able to see a way, one day. You should be grateful to Dustin, love." He held out his mug for more coffee, and watched as Alex finally polished his plate clean.

Alex looked at Karl. "Do you... did you... have the same problems?" He tried to remember if he had noticed anything. Do you... hear the voices too?" He took his coffee mug and drank copiously.

"Not like you do, Alex, love. They made me into something else. They made me into a sex toy when they made you into a killer. It still hurts, but I'm not in the same danger as you are." Karl sipped his coffee. "I'm not as beautiful as you. They didn't all want me the way that they wanted you."

"I... I remember... I know I hurt you, Karl. They - they --" He couldn't go on. Karl was his best friend. "I'm sorry, Karl. I know - I know you can't forgive me. But, I am sorry."

He looked at his friend. "You were ... more than my sex toy," he said finally.

"There's nothing to forgive, Alex. I know that you can't help the things that you've done, and…" he paused, a faint blush staining his cheeks. "Besides, I like them."

Alex stared at him. "How... how can you? I... I beat you, Karl. I raped you... I humiliated you. Made you do things... I hurt you. How could you *like* any of that?"

Krycek was suddenly sick to his stomach, and he swallowed.

"Guess that it's all down to brainwashing, love." Karl smiled. "Don't sweat it. I love you, and you're my friend. I've always loved you. It's second nature to me." He turned to Dr. Werber. "Is there anything you can do for Alex?"

"Alex must decide if he wishes to take that route," replied Dr. Werber. "I can help, I'm sure, but the road is going to be a long one. Would you like me to help you, Alex?"

Alex looked at Werber. "I... I can't stay like this," he said. He paused to gather his thoughts.

"I... I can't promise I won't slip into the child again... I know I will. I never knew him, before I was in the prison in Tunisia. I knew Alexei, a little... and Sascha. But Alyosha... he hurts."

Alex looked down. "Please, help me?"

He looked at Karl, then at Dr. Werber. "I just... just... please, try to understand if I find it hard to trust doctors in general. And... well..."

He looked down again. "What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm not going to do anything to you, Alex. I'm merely with your permission, of course going to assist you to bring out these hidden memories and deal with them. You are laden with compulsions, Alex. We will find them, and release you from them, but never against your will." Dr. Werber patted Alex on the shoulder. "We will take it as slowly as you like, and you will always be able to ask me questions."

Alex nodded. "Can you... what do you know, now? Anything? I... I feel empty. Like I need... you know what? I always thought I first met Daddy - the Smoker - when I was 7, after my parents..." He swallowed a sudden lump in his throat.

He looked at Werber. "But now I think... he was there from the beginning. In Russia. When I was a baby, and..."

He had to pause again. "What - what do these memories mean? Why am I having them now? This never happened before." He looked at Werber, eyes reflecting confusion and fear. "I - I'm usually in control."

"It's plain that something has happened to you that's thrown your conditioning into conflict. Something has started to break it down and now you are finding that your personality is fragmenting because of that. I will help you, but you must understand that it is going to be slow. You were conditioned for many years. I can't push a button and undo it all overnight." Dr. Werber took Alex's plate and put it in the dishwasher. "Can I get you anything more?"

Alex shook his head. "No, I... that's something. I know I'm not to ask for food. Why is that? I... when you asked me if I wanted more, just now, I felt anxious. Like... really anxious."

"I assume that you were deprived of food, kept hungry for long periods of time. They broke you, my friend, and rebuilt you to their specifications." Dr. Werber placed a bar of chocolate on the counter. "You are working well. You may have this as a reward. Savor it. Eat it slowly, so that you enjoy each piece."

Alex nodded. "Okay." He took the chocolate gingerly, seeming to inspect it.

*"Not for you unless I give it to you, boy. Don't you dare touch it. I'm leaving it here, but you know what you'll get if you touch it."*

Alex put the bar on the table.

*He hadn't eaten in three days. He'd had very little water... kept in the dark mostly, too. The musty smells... and a smell of chocolate. Inviting, tempting... *

Alex's stomach growled.

*"Only when I feed it to you, boy, can you eat."*

He looked at Dr. Werber.

*"I'll never eat from your hands."*

*"Then you will starve." And the door was shut... the grate replaced. He was alone...*

"I... I'm sorry. I..." He laughed. "You know, I don't think I've ever eaten a chocolate bar freely? You know? It's almost funny."

"Do you believe that you can do it, Alex? It's a simple thing, but it would be the start of your rehabilitation. You may eat the chocolate. It is yours. You may feed some of it to Karl and nobody will harm you or require favors for it." Dr. Werber smiled, and extended his hand to push the bar closer to Alex. His voice continued to flow around Alex, gentle words of encouragement, words that almost made no sense, but which were nonetheless encouraging.

Alex nodded, reaching for the bar. As he slowly opened it, every fiber of his being told him not to do it, and he couldn't help glancing around, as if Daddy or Sergei was going to hit him.

When the first block was revealed, Alex broke it off and brought it to Karl's lips. "You must be hungry. Take this... my friend."

Karl accepted the candy from Alex's fingers, and then reached to break off a piece himself, extending it to Alex.

"Your turn, Alex love. It's really good. Enjoy it."

Alex put out his tongue, reaching to take it. Suddenly he froze, his eyes darting around the room. "I'm... afraid..."

"It is the first stage in your recovery, Alex," murmured Dr. Werber. "Take the chocolate. Come, it's not such a big deal." He moved to stand behind Alex, stroking the back of his neck with a gentle touch.

Alex flinched from the touch instinctively... no one was ever kind to him. But when Werber didn't squeeze, or shove him backwards, or hit or kick him, he raised his eyes to Werber's. He saw compassion, kindness in them. Slowly, he took the chocolate and put it in his mouth.

He waited, but nothing bad happened to him. He dared to breathe again as the chocolate melted in his mouth... sweet, delicious chocolate. He smiled.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

They'd eaten Chinese food, and now they were all gathered, going over the plans that they had made. Dustin stood beside Mulder, so close that he could feel the heat of Mulder's body against the fine wool of his jacket. Mulder stood also, his back and behind far too sore to permit sitting at the present, and as Dustin smiled to himself, the FBI agent leaned forward to indicate something, and winced visibly.

"What's amazing is that even the military satellites don't see it." said the gnome with the glasses and the belligerent expression, as Dustin surveyed the group, happy that he had fooled them.

The blond with the stringy hair took up the conversation. "But J.P.L.'S Topex Poseidon shows it only as waveform data."

"…And here it appears simply as a microburst of transmission error on the European Space Agency's ERS-2," said the anal retentive type with the beard. Dustin was fascinated. They seemed to speak for each other. He wondered where the hive was located, and who was the Queen.

"In other words?" asked Skinner, curtly.

"In other words, you'd never know it's a UFO…" that was Frohike.

"…If you didn't know what you were looking at or looking for." Byers again.

"No wonder we couldn't see them." Langly completed the set. Dustin ground his teeth and cut through the circus act.

"Listen, it is not going to be there forever," he said.

Marita looked at the assemblage curtly. They seemed more interested in showing off their tech knowledge than finding the damned ship with any rapidity. "As we all stand here talking, it's rebuilding itself."

Dana Scully suddenly felt sick. She turned, and quickly left the room. She felt off balance, unhinged... but what was really unnerving was that she didn't know the source of her discomfiture.

Mulder looked up, concerned, and followed her.

Scully turned to face him. "Mulder, if any of this is true..."

Mulder looked at her. He could sense she was upset, and he didn't want her to be more so. "If it is, or - or if it isn't, I want you to forget about it, Scully?"

Scully couldn't believe her ears. "Forget about it?"

Mulder was firm. "You're not going back out there. I'm not going to let you go back out there."

Scully looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Scully, it has to end some time. That time is now."

Scully reached for his arm. "Mulder..."

Mulder spoke in a low tone, his voice not quite steady. "Scully, you have to understand that they're taking abductees. You're an abductee. I'm... I'm not going to risk losing you."

Scully sighed, and walked toward him, slowly putting her arms around him. Mulder wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"I won't let you go alone," Scully said softly.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Alex was lying in his bed, shivering. He'd felt anxious since he'd eaten the chocolate, and after a little skirmishing, had eventually prevailed upon Karl and Heitz to let him go to his room. He was nervous around other people. He felt that he had to see Daddy, but they said he couldn't.

*Smell of gunsmoke*

"I have to..." Alex said softly, though no one was there to hear him. "I have to go."

His eyes flew open... the room was still empty save for him, but the smell of Sergei and gunsmoke were all-pervasive.

*"Hold it like this, Alexei. Just naturally. It, and its trajectory, are both natural extensions of your arm. Just raise it up, hold it steady, and squeeze..."*

Alex swallowed.

*Wringing out a wet sheet. He'd been naughty again, and he had to hand wash Sergei's sheets. The cold water sliced through his skin in the frigid Siberian air...*

*Blood. The smell of it thick...*

*"Shoot him, boy. Come on. It's easy. Just shoot him."*

*The hapless prisoner, a male in his thirties, standing before him, head bowed.*

*"Shoot him," Sergei said.*

Alex jerked awake with a sharp cry.

Dustin had entered the room and was now hanging up Alex's coat. As Alex woke, Dustin crossed quickly to kneel beside him, and laid his head on Alex's chest.

"Hello, love. How are you feeling? Forgive me?" He drew back, watching Alex and waiting to see if he was to be banished for his betrayal, or whether he would be forgiven.

Alex blinked, and his lower lipped trembled. "I've been... I've been a bad boy. I know. I know you want to hurt me. That's okay. I deserve it." He stretched out, undoing his pants and sliding them off. He looked up at Dustin, spreading his legs. "Just... just... make it fast?"

"What did you do, baby?" Dustin blinked. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but this wasn't it. He looked at Alex, spread wide for him, and bent to kiss the quiescent cock that curled at Alex's groin. "I love you. I won't hurt you."

Alex looked at him. "I'm sorry. I ate the chocolate. I ate... food. Eggs... bacon… toast. I know I wasn't supposed to. Please... please punish me." After he'd been punished, he knew, the knot of anxiety in his stomach would come undone.

He briefly closed his eyes, then opened them wide, licking his lips suggestively. He said, softly, "I'm ready for it. I won't cry."

Dustin sighed and then stood, removed all his clothes save for his shorts and T-shirt, and then lay down beside Alex, pulling him close.

"Come here, silly. I love you you know that. I'm glad that you had something good to eat."

Alex tensed. He knew he had to let this man do to him what he would, but he didn't have to like it. He stared into space, lying in Dustin's arms. His heart pounded.

Dustin tried to soothe Alex, but when the man he was holding remained tense and rigid, he found himself becoming distressed. He lay, wondering what the hell to do as Alex shivered in his grip. Finally, he sat up, tears starting from his eyes.

"Guess I'm not forgiven then. I'd better leave."

Alex swallowed. The man didn't want him... didn't find him beautiful. For a moment, he had felt ... something as he lay in his arms. He didn't want to believe it was real, but...

He knew he would call Daddy or Will or Jean-Paul in. Or all three.

"No, please," Alyosha whimpered. "I'll be good. So good for you. Won't eat anymore. I promise. Don't... don't..." He rolled over and took Dustin's hand, guiding it to his anus. "Go ahead. I'll be your pretty boy. Please. I need it."

Dustin snatched his hand back as though the touch had seared it. "Alex, please, baby. I love you." He felt the tears come in earnest, and dropped his head down onto his knees, and sat sobbing. He had no idea what he could do now. This was totally out of his league.

Alex stared at the man. Had he hurt him? He was going to be hurt now... he knew it. He whimpered. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did... I'm sorry. Please... please come back..."

Slowly, Dustin slumped against Alex, and put his arms around him again, resting his head on Alex's shoulder.

"Alex, I love you. Please remember me. It's Dustin. I don't know how to help you." He dropped a kiss onto Alex's head and rose from the bed, pulled on his pants and went to find Dr. Werber. It was all he could think of to do.

Alex shivered, and as the man left, he grew afraid. He knew that Daddy and the others would come in, and hold him facedown, and hurt him, sticking things into his anus and mouth. He swallowed. It was always this way. He tried hard to be good, he did. He just always...

He was suddenly suffused with dread unlike any he had ever felt. He knew they would kill him this time. Getting up from the bed, he shakily walked over to the far corner, hiding behind the side of a bookcase.

He drew his knees to his chest. It might be harder for him this way, but he was so scared...

When Dr. Werber finally entered the room, followed by Dustin, at first they thought that Alex had left, but then Dustin spied the white of his shirt in the corner, and nudged Heitz to indicate wordlessly that Alex was there. He was not prepared for the severe tone that Heitz used to persuade Alex out of his hiding place.

"Come Alyosha, and sit on this chair. You are behaving in a very silly manner."

Alex looked up, and bit his lip. He began to rock himself. Maybe... he could just drift. Let them do what they did while he thought of other things... he remembered the feel of Mama's arms around him. Remembered how, when he was even smaller than he was now, after they hurt him they would let Mama hold him, let her rock him.

If she showed him any kindness at other times, he was hurt severely, and then they wouldn't let her hold him, and he would cry himself to sleep, alone.

He keened, watching Heitz apprehensively.

"I'm waiting, Alyosha." Heitz stepped forward and took Alex's hand gently, pulling to urge him to his feet. "Here you are, rocking and feeling sad, and here is Dustin who wants to hold you and rock with you while you talk to me." He pulled on Alex's hand. "Come, Alyosha. Be good for your Daddy."

Alyosha looked at Heitz, and got up on his knees.

Suddenly, Alexei was there. He smiled up at Heitz. "Do you want it?" he asked, licking his lips. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "You know I can make you happy."

"It will make me very happy if you come sit here with Dustin and we can have a talk. I do not require sex at the moment, thank you." Heitz was still stern. He sat down on the chair and indicated that Alex and Dustin should sit on the bed.

Alexei smirked, and looked at Dustin, shrugging. He got up and sat on the bed.

For the moment, Dustin remained standing, until Dr. Werber gestured that he should take his place beside Alex, and then he moved reluctantly to sit next to him. Dr. Werber waited for a minute or two, and then leant forwards.

"What is worrying you, Alex? You were afraid."

Alexei shook his head. "Alyosha was fearful because he ate the food, and the candy. He thinks you're going to do something really awful to him. Since you're not hurting him, his anxiety is increasing. Besides, he - we - have to get back to Daddy."

"In two days, when he returns, you may do so. You know that he is in Tunisia until then. Why are you anxious?" Dr. Werber spoke gently, but he was obviously expecting answers.

"I -- someone will hurt me. I know that. But they're doing it again... gaslighting me by not doing it immediately. They're going to wait, and I won't know when, but they'll run in any time and tie me down. They do it all the time. Then, they force themselves on me - rape me." He laughed darkly. "You'd think I wouldn't even feel it anymore, wouldn't you? After all, it's been going on at least since I was three, and probably even longer." He shook his head. "I guess I'm just not tough enough," he said slowly. "They want me to be tough. Sergei was angry because when he asked me to shoot a prisoner, I froze and couldn't do it. I'm no good I guess. But it was - the man I was to shoot - he was so skinny, and he... Sergei told me the reason they were shooting him was because he wasn't good at what he did, didn't follow orders." He shivered.

"Do you suppose they'll shoot me, too? Sometimes, I ache for it." His voice was devoid of emotion - flat, tired. Weary.

"Those are terrible memories, Alex. Terrible. How may I get you to trust what I say? It is most important that you do." Heitz smiled gently. "We both want to help you. All we need is for you to wish to be free." He indicated that Dustin should sit close to Alex and put his arm around him. "Dustin is hurting for you. Help him heal, Alex."

Alex looked at Dustin glumly. "How can I help him, I can't even help myself." He looked at Heitz. "You all say that I'm going to help save the world. How can I if I'm so... twisted?"

"That's what we're going to talk about. First, you must save yourself. All I want to do is listen. Tell me your fears, Alex. Tell them to Dustin. Between us we will help you to bear them."

Alex looked at Dustin. "Before, when you held me... I felt... good. It felt... like you cared?" he said, tentatively.

When Dustin didn't respond right away, Alex hung his head. "I know. It's stupid. I have to learn that no one will ever care for me. I have to get it through my thick skull. But, dammit - I want to be loved. I really do." He swallowed. "I only just got here last month, you know. They sent me here when they caught me letting Fox fuck me. I just wanted to feel some warmth, a touch... that's all."

Snuggling against Alex, Dustin sought for words, but could only manage, "I love you, Alex. You know that I love you." He shook his head sadly and laid it down against Alex's shoulder. Dr. Werber's voice continued to drone.

"Tell me about your life, Alex."

"My life. What's there to tell? All I've known is pain and hurt. You don't need to hear that. I - I'm not supposed to tell anyone about my life. Just that my Daddy's in the government and Mama's dead. Oh, and Sergei's my Daddy while I'm here. You can ask him about it if you want." Alex stroked Dustin's cheek.

"Sergei is long gone, Alex. You must remember. The Gulag was long ago. Now, you are free of Sergei." Dr. Werber's voice was low and soporific. "You will tell us about what happened when you left Sergei. Tell Dustin, who loves you."

"When I left," Alexei said, "Daddy brought me home. My true Daddy. He... I thought he would love me at last, thought I'd be..."

Alexei began shaking, and he tried to form a word, a phrase... but his mind was blank. "I... went home, and..."

But he couldn't remember any more.

Suddenly, he felt the comforting presence of Sascha, the Protector. Sascha would make it all go away...

*Hush, Alexei. I'm here now.*

When Alex looked at Werber, it was with Sascha's cold, hard eyes. "Heitz, I need you to leave the room, and tell Karl to come in." His voice was even and commanding - it was clear he expected to be obeyed.

Werber nodded to himself. This was only to be expected. He surveyed Sascha, his expression bland.

"You know that I can't do that, my friend." He looked to Dustin, who had shrunk back a little. "Come now, you are aware of the fact we are trying to help you. Allow the memories to come to you, Alex. Fighting them will not help you."

Sascha glared at Werber, then quickly went to his leather jacket, which Dustin had hung up in the room on his return. He slipped it on, automatically reaching into his right pocket. Finding the soothing feel of cool metal there, he withdrew the gun.

"You will leave, Werber. One way or the other," he said tightly. Walking over to place himself between Werber and Dustin, he leveled the gun at the psychiatrist and cocked it with a very audible click. "You can leave now, Doc, or I can shoot you. The choice is yours." He cut his eyes to Dustin, then leveled his gaze back on Werber. "So, which will it be?"

Dr. Werber shrugged his shoulders.

"You can stave off the moment for now, but when you think about it, Alex, you still contain that terrified boy within you, and here is your lover, who cares about you, wanting to help you. Why would you not wait until later to do whatever it is that you feel the need to do?"

Sascha smirked, still holding the gun on Werber. "You think that psychobabble is gonna do any good?"

He looked at Dustin briefly. "I need to teach my Cub a few things. Leave, and send Karl in. Now." He cocked the gun again for emphasis, and edged toward Dustin.

"Alex Krycek, you are making a mistake. Your Cub is learning from you all the time, but now is not the moment for gunplay." He turned and left the room without any further words, moving swiftly to the telephone. Dialing his clinic, he asked for a couple of orderlies to come over, and then went into the study and extracted a hypnotic from his case. Alex would emerge when Karl was not forthcoming, he was sure. At that point he would be able to sedate him if he played it right.

Sascha looked at Dustin. "My Cub... I will make you into my partner. We will hunt together... run together." He climbed onto the bed, putting the gun on the pillow as he kissed Dustin, deeply and hungrily. He had an erection, and ground it into Dustin's groin as he pushed him back onto the bed. "Little Cub. I will teach you how to have mastery over another, so that no one can ever hurt you again." He kissed Dustin passionately, reaching to catch at the gun once more.

He had to keep his Cub safe. That was paramount. He pointed the gun in the general direction of the door as he laid his head on Dustin's chest, waiting for Karl. My Cub," he said again. "You won't be hurt, like Alex was..."

Sliding his arms around Alex, Dustin pulled him against his body, and writhed as he felt the stiffness of Alex pushing into him.

"I'll never be hurt like you were, my lover. You've saved me." He ran his hands up under the leather jacket as he held Alex to him. "Leave the gun. Forget Karl. I just want you to make love to me. It's been so long."

"No time, Cub," Sascha said. "I can't let my guard down. I have to show you - before they become stronger and can hurt you. Little one, my love... I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. Do you know that?"

Lifting his head, he yelled, "Karl! Come here, Karl!"

Grinning ferally, he said, "You wanted to know what they did to me when I got home?"

"What did they do?" Dustin flinched... if he had only been able to prevent Alex from meeting up with the Smoker. He would kill the old man. He knew that now. It would be his gift to Alex. He coiled his arms around Alex and held him close, nipping his cheek as he whispered, "Tell me."

*Tell me...*

Alex couldn't help it. He reverted to Alexei again, wrapping himself tightly around Dustin, voice high and cracking. "They - they - I thought they would love me. I'd worked so hard, done all Daddy had asked. When he came for me, he kissed me, and I felt safe... loved. But when we got home... I was... tossed into the dungeon, and left... then, they came. LaPierre. Wetrzgaard. They said they were glad to see me. Then they... they took me, strapped me down. They..."

He clung to Dustin. "Please. I'll be your good boy, I promise. Just don't let them hurt me again, please..."

"Shh, beloved, you're safe now. Trust me, love, they have no power to huryyou now." Dustin stroked Alex rhythmically as he spoke, his voice hypnotic as he soothed his troubled love. He'd learned enough now not to make any sudden movements. All he did, all he could do was murmur, "I love you, Alex, I love you," and wait.

"You... you do?" Alexei said, in wondering tones. "That's all I've ever wanted... to be loved by someone... someone who won't hurt me... you won't, will you?" His voice was desperate. "You won't hurt me like Will and Jean-Paul and Daddy?" Alex hugged Dustin tighter. "If you'll love me, I'll be a good boy for you. I'll do whatever you ask. You won't have to worry."

"I don't need you to do anything for me. I just need to love you. Will you let me do that for you, Alex?" Dustin's hands roamed restlessly over the solid silk of Alex's skin beneath the leather jacket. "I love you, baby, only you."

Alex gasped. "Please, please love me. Don't hurt me. It's all I ask. Don' wanna hurt no more..." He nestled in against Dustin, tracing a line along his jaw. "If you don' hurt me... I'll let you do whatever you want to me. If you'll love me... jus' wan' love," he murmured. He felt suddenly tired, and his eyelids fluttered.

"Hush, love. I love you. You don't need to doubt that." Dustin held him gently, fingers tenderly tracing circles on the sleek back. "All I want is for you to hold me tight like this. I don't need you to do anything but be here with me."

Alex snuggled up to Dustin. "Don't let them come for me, Dustin," he whispered, drifting off to sleep. "So tired. Wanna rest now..."

"Alex Krycek, I love you so damned much." Dustin kissed the forehead that was so close to his lips, and ruffled gentle fingers through the feathery, short hair. "You can always count on me, love. I won't let you down"

"Yeah?" Alex looked up at Dustin. "I know, Little Cub. I know. I love you, too. Gonna keep you safe..."

"It's my turn, baby. My turn to keep you safe. Sleep now, lover."

Alex smiled. "Only if you'll hold me..." He noticed the teddy bear on the bureau for the first time. He chuckled. "What's with the bear?"

"That bear was supposed to be yours, Alex. They never gave it to you. I stole it from the Smoker." Dustin kissed his lover's upturned face. "I'll never let you go."

"What? Never... gave it to me?" The crease at the top of his nose appeared as he considered. Then, he grinned. "Would you go get him for me, and then come back under the covers with me and hold me? Please?" He felt a little silly, but he felt he needed the security...

Straightening up, Dustin laid Alex back against the pillows and went to fetch the bear. Returning to the bed, he tugged at the leather jacket that his lover still wore.

"C'mon, off!" Once the jacket lay on the floor beside the bed, Dustin pulled back the covers and helped his lover to get beneath the sheets. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed onto the bed beside him and offered the bear. It was a large, old-fashioned bear, jointed, with emerald eyes and rich, chocolate colored fur.

Alex grabbed the bear, grinning. He cuddled it against his chest, burying his head in its fur. He snuggled against it. "Who... who got me the bear?" Alex said. "Do you know?" He wondered if it was the British man, the one who was the kindest to him of all the Syndicate members. Who had rescued him from the silo and never, ever raped him...

"The Smoker told me that your real father gave it to you, and that he withheld it. I took it because I was outraged for you, for the baby that you were, and the hurt that they did you." Tears started in his eyes, and he flung his arms around Alex again. "I want to make everything right for you. I love you, baby."

Alex snuggled back against Dustin. "As long as you hold me.... like you are now... I think everything will be fine. I've never felt so loved, and I mean that like... Fox and Daddy said they loved me, but they didn't. Not like you."

He paused. "You met Fox today, didn't you? How did it go?"

A veiled expression came down over Dustin's eyes. "He's a jerk, Alex. I hated him for what he did to you."

"Yeah, he... I really... I really loved him, you know. I wanted to be his boy, once... I used to be. He used to say he loved me." Alex rolled over so he was facing Dustin, the bear squished between them. "What happened?"

"I made him think that I was you, love, and then I left. What a jerk. He'd have beaten me up if Skinner hadn't stopped him." Dustin pulled Alex close. "But don't worry about it, love. It's done."

"Did he... did you..." Alex remembered how Fox would grab him and throw him across his desk. "Did he hurt you, baby?"

"Hurt me?" Dustin smiled, stealing another kiss from the man in his arms. "Hell, no. If anything, I hurt him."

Krycek tilted his head. "What - what do you mean, you hurt Mulder?" He frowned. "Why would you hurt Mulder?"

Smiling lazily, Dustin kissed the small nose and ran his palm down Alex's ribs. "Oh, he seemed to think he could mistreat you. I didn't think that was such a good idea. I gave him a little of his own medicine. He appeared to be a little shocked, but I think that he's learned manners."

"What - what did you do?"

"I… um… I spanked him, actually. I beat him with his own belt. He seemed to find that instructional, not to say moving. Come on, lover, you need some sleep, and I don't want to talk about all the jerks that think they can fuck you over." Dustin pillowed Alex's head against his shoulder and stroked the smooth skin gently, long sweeping movements that he hoped would soothe.

Alex nestled into Dustin. "They always hurt me... all I wanted was to be loved." He looked at Dustin. "That - that's all. Someone who would care for me for more than the use they could make of me... there was one man who made me feel safe before, but he died a few years ago. You make me fee safe... loved." Alex licked his lips, and rolled his head as Dustin's strokes lulled him. Like his mother used to... Almost unconsciously, he took a portion of Dustin's shirt into his mouth and sucked at it.

"You helped me when I needed it. I will help you now. I care for you, Alex." Dustin continued to stroke him. "I've got you back now. I won't let them hurt you any more."

Alex murmured happily as he snuggled against Dustin. "Promise?"

"For as long as I live," whispered Dustin.

Alex sighed, and his mind drifted into sleep. He couldn't ever remember feeling so secure. For once, the memories stayed away.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The morning dawned grey and rainy. Dustin was awakened by the sound of rain lashing against the window, and burrowed back into the bedclothes next to his lover. Alex was still sleeping, his face smooth and youthful in slumber. Dustin lay watching him, knowing that he would have to get up and go soon enough, but not wanting to disturb this nightmare-free sleep for Alex.

Alex sighed and opened his eyes. He recalled his flashbacks yesterday, and shivered. He felt in control now, but for how long? He rolled his head and searched for Dustin. Seeing the look in his eyes, a smile crept across his face. "Hey, Dustin," he said.

He reached for him. "Come on back down here a moment... slut." He grinned.

Desire trickled through Dustin's veins at the look on Alex's face. He felt his insides turn liquid, and shivered as he moved closer to the heat Alex was generating. Alex was here; Alex was well again, and he was going to make love to him. His eyes were wide as he looked at his lover.

"Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?"

"Very much so. I feel... I feel rested, and energized. I feel like... like I want to..." He reached over and stroked Dustin's cheek, pulling him in for a kiss. "I can never get enough of you," he husked, as his tongue flickered over Dustin's lips and teeth. He moaned, propping himself up on his arm, gazing down at Dustin. "Slut," he said. "Show me. Show me what a slut you can be." He had slept in only his underwear, and his cock bulged proudly.

A slow smile gradually played over Dustin's lips, and he squirmed free of the clothing he had slept in for fear of waking Alex from what seemed to be a healing sleep. Naked at last, he rolled to press himself against Alex, his hands petting the swelling cock that lurked beneath the constriction of his boxers. His own penis rose proudly, and Dustin scooped a little of the moisture from its tip to raise to Alex's lips.

"That's for you, love. All for you."

Alex grinned, and, wanting more, he gripped Dustin's cock and began stroking it, and then stopped to tear away his boxers. He had to let go to get them off, but after he had, Dustin lay, beautiful and larger than life.

He sat back on his heels, running his hand along the top of Dustin's thighs and over the knees, then gripped the legs at the calves one at a time to hoist them over his shoulders. Dustin was so pretty, and he was his... his to take...

He slowly worked a finger into Dustin's tight anus and corkscrewed it, but soon enough he couldn't wait and he withdrew his finger to place his cock at Dustin's tight entrance. He paused, locking eyes with Dustin, then thrust himself inside in one swift, sure stroke.

The burn of his entry made Dustin groan and bite his lip. "Oh, god, Alex, it… it hurts." He felt split wide, gutted, his body seared by the heat of Alex as he was claimed. Alex was right inside him, and he was thankful when Alex paused, waiting for Dustin to become relaxed enough to continue.

"Baby... are you okay?" Alex ran his hand over Dustin's chest. "I don't want to hurt you..." He closed his eyes in ecstasy as he felt Dustin's heat on him, the snugness... he couldn't help thrusting in a bit farther, then out, then back in... slowly, slowly.

"Little Cub? Are you okay?"

"Alex, I…" Dustin gasped. If Alex wanted to fuck him dry, he would just have to take it. He squeezed his eyes closed as the pain filled his senses.

"Dustin... do you need... ?" Spitting into his hand, he pulled out, and slicked himself, then put the tip to Dustin's entrance again. "Is that good, baby? Or do you have some lube hidden somewhere I don't know about?"

"I'm sorry." Dustin felt like a failure. It had all been used up the previous day, and he'd forgotten completely. "It's my fault. I don't think I have anything." He waited, wondering what would happen next.

Alex smiled. "You know what that means, little cub." He slapped Dustin's ass, then drove into him, hard. He grunted as he felt his cock hit home, and waited a moment for Dustin to adjust. Then he began thrusting in and out, gazing down at Dustin. "I'll just have to take you dry."

Dustin bit his lip and tried to relax, as Alex possessed him. His hands held tight to Alex's shoulders, his fingers digging into the flesh with the tension of the encounter, each thrust provoking a sharp cry as Alex fucked him.

Alex bent down, nipping at Dustin's throat and shoulders as he sped up his thrusts. "Spread your legs, Cub, and bear down. It'll help..." He took Dustin's ear in his teeth, then captured his mouth in a deep kiss as he felt his desire and fucked Dustin harder, and deeper.

There was pain, and then there was a feeling of warmth that spread from his abused asshole to the tops of his thighs and up along his spine. As Dustin spread himself open for Alex, he felt the warmth become heat, become pleasure, become almost unbearable in the sweetness of it. He moaned again, his tongue caressing Alex as they kissed.

Alex moaned loudly. "That's it, Cub, take me... all the way... you feel... so ... fucking... good!" The 'good' came out as more of a cry then a word, as he felt his balls tightening and a tingling in his groin. He nipped at Dustin's neck again, then kissed him hungrily as his desire washed over him, through him, and into Dustin. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." he chanted.

Slick now, and desperate, Dustin began to stroke himself, squeezing at his cock in an attempt to catch up with Alex. He could feel the pulsing warmth of Alex as he discharged his fluids inside him, and his own response as thigh muscles tightened, his balls began to contract, and his climax began.

Alex moved his hand, placing it over Dustin's, stroking and working Dustin's cock. "Let me do it, Cub. Let me get you off myself."

Relinquishing his hold on his dick, Dustin whimpered, and gave himself to Alex, sobbing as he felt the tide of orgasm flood him, washing him away in a torrent of prickling heat. Alex leaned to the side, nipping and kissing Dustin's neck as he caught Dustin's jizz in his hand. He brought it to his lips, slurping some into his mouth, then offered it to Dustin, as he rolled over and lay, panting. "Oh, baby."

There was a pause as they lay, chests heaving, holding each other. Dustin closed his eyes and burrowed in against Alex, feeling safe, feeling perfect in his lover's hold. The things that he had needed to do were all for this man, and this was why he didn't mind learning. If it was for Alex, then he would do whatever it took.

"God, I love you, Cub," Alex said. He kissed Dustin's eyes. "I was so sure... every day I worried I would never see you again."

"Like a bad penny!" chuckled Dustin. "You don't get rid of me so rapidly, my love. You'd have to tell me to go and never come back before I'd let you go."

Alex tensed, and looked at Dustin, longing in his eyes... and a hint of fear. "And if I did, moi lyubov? Would you leave me?"

"Not a chance." The words fell easily from Dustin's lips. "You don't get rid of me that quickly." He smiled and leaned to kiss Alex once again. "I'm really hungry, Alex. C'mon, love, let's go find something to eat. My stomach thinks that my throat was cut."

Alex smiled. "I... I'm not that hungry, Cub. I could do with some coffee. But, I'll help you make your food. Okay?"

Pulling on sweats, Dustin made for the door, turned, and held out his hands to Alex. "God, Alex, you have no idea just how wonderful it is to have you back with me. I missed you so much."

Alex pulled on some handy clothing and hugged Dustin close. "I... I ached for you every day, Dustin. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have made it. But... sometimes... at night? I could really almost feel you, beside me, telling me to hang on, because you loved me. And, it gave me the strength I needed to keep on living." He kissed Dustin's neck and face. "Baby... we'll never be apart again, will we?"

"Not by choice, my lover. Definitely not by choice." Dustin's hands ran the length of Alex's body, and he suddenly laughed. "Come on, or we'll never get out of the bedroom. Plenty of time for this later on today, after I eat. Got to keep up my strength, you know?" He patted Alex's bottom, turned, and started to descend the stairs.

Alex laughed, and followed his lover to the kitchen, running ahead to get him eggs and toast and cereal. "How do you want them cooked, my love?"

"You're gonna cook for me?" Dustin chuckled. "The great assassin and lover and short order cook! Easy-over will be fine, and lightly done toast, please." Dustin busied himself with the coffee maker, measuring out the coffee and water for Alex, face set in concentration as he set it running. Passing Alex on his way to find sugar, he swept the laughing man into an embrace, and kissed him, brief but hard.

Alex didn't want to let Dustin go, ever. He flipped his lover's eggs and put the toast into the toaster, spinning on the return to kiss Dustin yet again. He saw Heitz come into the kitchen, chuckling in bemusement. Just then the telephone rang.

"Werber." Heitz had picked up the white, antique phone that stood in the corner beside the breakfast nook. He listened intently, and then held out the phone to Dustin. "It would seem to be for you, young man."

Dustin took the phone from the psychiatrist, and held it to his ear, wondering who would be calling him now.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the line was Marita's.

"Dustin," Marita said. "It happened, just as you hoped." She looked around her. She was in the foyer of the Watergate Hotel. "You understand what I mean, don't you, Dustin?"

A shadow fell across his face. He did indeed. "I'll be there in half an hour. It looks as though we're about to wrap this up, doesn't it?" He glanced at Alex, now happily laying out his eggs and looking utterly relaxed as he played at being a short order cook. If he could just get everything tied up and take Alex home, he would thank all the deities that had ever been worshipped. "I'll see you soon, okay?" He replaced the receiver in its cradle, and moved back over to where Alex had produced his breakfast with a flourish.

"Thanks, love," he murmured, and stole his arms around his lover, hugging him fiercely before sitting down and beginning to eat.

Alex sat beside Dustin, watching him eat. His stomach growled, but he smiled. "Is it good? Did I cook it right?"

Dustin loaded his fork, took a bite and moaned his appreciation, then filled it again and held the fork to Alex's lips. "Taste it, love. It's yummy."

Alex thought for a moment. "Who was that on the phone, love?"

"That was Marita. I have to take her some stuff after breakfast. I'll be back in about an hour." Dustin tapped Alex's lips with the fork. "C'mon, or I'm gonna think that you're trying to poison me."

Alex blinked. "No... um, no thanks. I'm ... I made that for you, you need it."

Putting his fork down, Dustin turned to Alex, kissed his lips and stood up. "Okay. I can play that game too." He turned to leave the kitchen.

Alex stared after him. "It's... I want to make you happy, Dustin..." He hung his head.

"What would make me happy, Alex, is for you to stop fucking around with me, and eat something. If you don't, then I won't. Got that?" Dustin stood, fists clenched, his anger growing at Alex's inexplicable behavior.

Alex looked at Dustin. "Why... are you doing this to me?" he said. His eyes went wide as he felt Alyosha coming to the fore... or was it Alexei? He couldn't tell. "Why do you want me to... be bad? Won't be pretty if I'm bad."

"Come on, Alex. I don't have time for this. Just do what I ask, because I love you? Because you love me?" Dustin kissed him hard, and then let him go to leave again.

Alexei looked after him, watching him go. "Come back... soon?" he said, sadly. "You didn't finish your breakfast."

As Dustin left the house, the occupants of the kitchen could hear him greeting someone, and a few seconds later, Karl Mackey strode into the room. Dr. Werber smiled a greeting and indicated Alex, where he stood at the stove.

"I have meetings that I must attend. I will see the two of you later in the afternoon. Please to make yourselves at home." With that, Dr. Werber left the kitchen, and shortly afterwards they heard the front door close behind him.

Alex looked at Karl. "Want some breakfast?" Then, a feral smile broke out on his lips. "Or do you want to... play, Karl, my baby?"

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Striding into the foyer of the Watergate Hotel, Dustin looked around. Marita was sitting in a corner of the room, and looked up as he came towards her, the perfectly coifed head tilted as she studied him.

Dressed in Alex's clothing, Dustin had put on the arrogance his lover exuded along with the clothes that he was wearing.

"Shall we get to it?" He stood over her, apparently seething with impatience.

Marita stood up. "No time like the present," she said, noting again how much he resembled Alex. Alex had told her once he wished Dustin to be his partner, and she smiled at the thought. Crack assassin team, indeed!

"Let's go, then," she said, walking towards the elevators.

"Uh…" There was a pause. "I need to eat something. Alex and I… We had kind of a row and I didn't get any breakfast." Dustin looked at her with an absurdly young expression on his face.

Marita looked at him. "All right..." She headed for the hotel restaurant. "You and Alex had a fight? What about?" Her brow furrowed in concern.

"He won't eat, Marita. He made me breakfast but he wouldn't have any. He's starving himself to death, and I can't bear it. I told him I wouldn't eat if he didn't, but then I had to leave. I don't know what to do about him." They found a booth and slid into it to examine the menu.

Marita frowned, and set her mouth into a thin line. "Do you know what they used to do to him if he ate, even if they put the food in front of him?" She looked at her menu. "They used to do that, you know. Try to tempt him..."

"Fuck that. That was then. This is now. He has to eat something or he's gonna die. Come to that, he must have eaten something from time to time. You gotta tell me how to help him. I can't cope with this." Dustin pushed the menu away from him and buried his head in his hands. "The old fuck dies today. No arguments."

Marita sighed. "Only his Daddy could feed him, whoever that might have been at the time." She waited for the full implication of her words to sink in. "He... he needs to be... loved. His... alters need to be loved. He needs to be retrained, pretty much..."

She looked down. "Remember what we told you about... Little Jeffy? You haven't heard the whole story... but maybe it should wait till after breakfast."

"Quit playing with me. I need to know how to make him eat. I need to stop him from being this... this little kid. What do I do?" He closed his mouth and waited as the waitress brought them coffee. Ordering breakfast, he waited for her to go back and deliver the request, and then turned to Marita once more. "So what the hell can I do?

"Heal the kid, save the man," Marita said. "You need to become his Daddy, if you really mean to help him, Dustin."

She looked up and locked her eyes on his. "It will mean a lot of work. Are you willing to do that?"

Dustin met Marita's eyes. "I will do whatever it takes." He set his mouth, and his chin went up in a gesture that was unmistakably Alex.

Marita smiled. "That's what Alex needs. Someone willing to go the distance. You know, if you ever need help... I'll be there for him. For you. Even though I don't always fully understand... he's... he calls me Mama sometimes. I... never quite know what to do, when he does. All I can do is hold him and love him as best I can." She had thought this admission would make her feel better, but somehow it left her feeling more vulnerable, exposed. Inadequate.

As their food arrived, they both ate in silence, each of them victims of their thoughts. It was some time later when Dustin pushed his plate to one side and smiled.

"That feels better. Now, let me look at my list. Oh, yeah." He grinned. "First, kill the old fucker with the bad habit, second, get Heitz to make me into Alex's Daddy, and third, make him eat some fucking lunch. Does that sound about right?"

Marita chuckled. "I see you still have your 'Dustin' sense of humor. Yep. For you, all in a day's work!" She grinned at him, and then wiped a piece of egg off his cheek with her finger. "We're gonna make a superspy of you yet."

"I guess that it's time then." Dustin's face turned cold. "Strike one. The old fuck." He tossed a couple of bills on the table to pay for breakfast, and offered Marita his arm. "Let's get it over with."

Marita stood up, hooking her arm in his. "The gentlemanly assassin," she whispered in his ear. "Hey, I'm looking forward to this," she said, as they walked towards the elevators.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Sascha leaned over Karl, tying him to Werber's bed. He was naked, and Sascha was grinning with the same feral grin he'd had since Karl's arrival. Karl's body was striped from when Alex had fucked him earlier, hitting him with a belt as part of the "play." Now he hissed into Mackey's ear as he tightened the knots. "You're such a slut, Karl. You're so into pain. I love to hurt you, as much as you love being hurt." He canted his head, biting the nape of Karl's neck as he unzipped his fly. "Now, bitch," he grunted, parting Mackey's asscheeks with his hand and shoving into Karl's anus, grunting as his cock slid home. "I'm gonna fuck you bloody, Karl," he said.

The words made Karl shiver. This was his Alex, come back to him again.

"I love you, Alex," he mumbled through split and bleeding lips. "Whatever you want of me, take it."

"Damn right," Sascha hissed, slamming his hips forward into Karl. "Oh, Karl..." He moved his hips swiftly, brutally, and gripped Mackey's ass hard in his hand, leaving red marks. "I love how you look right now, Karl. Do you know how that turns me on?"

Pain blossomed in Karl's rectum, gnawed at his spine as Alex fucked him. He didn't know why this was happening. He was merely grateful that it was. As Alex drove into him, Karl moaned at each stroke.

Alex could feel the blood in Karl's anus from their earlier session, and sped up his thrusts, deepening them. He wanted to see and feel it dripping down the man's thighs when he pulled out... paint the man red with his anger and fury. "Bleed, Karl. Bleed for me... YEAH!" He drove in again and again, feeling his orgasm bubbling up. Leaning his head back, he spurted into Karl's ass, crying out as he did so.

After a few moments, when he'd come down from the high, he pulled out, grinning fiercely. His cock was slick with his jism and Karl's blood... mostly blood, as he'd shot most of his load earlier. Now, bitch..." He tightened Karl's bonds, so there was no way he could move, or get out of position comfortably... on his hands and knees, ankles tied to his wrists, ass in the air.

He stuck his finger into Karl's anus, scraping the side with a nail to get more blood. Chuckling evilly, he wrote "Sascha" across Karl's ass in blood, and then stood up, tucking his now flaccid cock into his briefs and zipping up. "That was good, Karl," he said. "Stay put now. I got someplace I gotta be. So sorry you can't come with..." He turned, and left the room.

"Alex?" Karl suddenly panicked. "Alex?" he called again. "Oh, God, Sascha? No, come back."

He could hear nothing. Alex had gone.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Marita walked next to Dustin, eyes ahead, intent on their goal. There was something she wondered about... "Mulder's abduction. You arranged for that, didn't you," she said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"What made you think that?" Dustin's smile was shark-keen in the dim lighting of the corridor. "How could I possibly arrange for something like that? I'm just a poor little producer from La-La-Land. I don't know any aliens."

Marita chuckled. "You really want me to believe in your innocent act, Dustin? I think I know you better than that by now. You're Alex's twin... or close to. You're so much like him... and that's a very Alex thing to do." She paused, and smiled at him. "It's gonna be hard to leave you guys... I ..." She wanted to say she loved them, but didn't know if that would be all right. "I've come to care for you, as well as Alex."

Dustin stopped and turned to face her. "You really think that he's my twin? How did that happen? Tell me about it. I need to know."

"I think..." She put her hands on his shoulders. "I think... you love him so much... that... you're willing to die for him, to avenge him... whatever it takes. And here you are, avenging him. If he knew what you were doing, he'd cry... he loves you, Dustin. Even when he's.. afraid... know this he's never loved anyone like he has you. I believe... I really believe, only you can save him. You will, won't you? Save him?"

"You know that I'll do what I can, or die trying, but you said that we're twins. Why did you say that? What do you know?" Dustin took hold of her shoulders and shook her abruptly. "Tell me what you know. I have to find out." His face was set in an expression that Marita knew only too well, although in the past it had not been Dustin who wore it, but Sascha.

"Nothing," Marita said. "Figure of speech. That's all." She took a step backwards, concerned.

"Oh, no you don't." Dustin followed her in, and she found herself facing the wall with her arm twisted up behind her back. "I told you; I need to know. Tell me."

Marita gritted her teeth. "There's nothing I can tell you." She whirled on him, eyes blazing. "You want to know so goddamned much, you'll have to ask him." She nodded upwards. "The Smoker. There are things even I don't know." She paused, staring at him. "All I know is... there might have been... another."

There was a pause, and Dustin tightened his grip on her arm until it creaked. Finally, she spoke, her voice thick with pain. "There WAS another. Your mother couldn't, wouldn't, give both her twins to the Smoker... so she sent one to America when he was only a few months old... with a family that was going to ... California."

Slowly Dustin released his grip on her and fell back, his face confused, the old Dustin looking through hurt eyes. "You're kidding, right? You're yanking my chain? Come on, Marita. Tell me that you aren't serious."

Marita shook her head. "I wish I were. It... it could have been you, but..." She met his eyes. "Now, don't you go feeling guilty on me, Buddy. You're not done yet. You can feel badly about it later."

He stared at her, his eyes wide and frightened, and then seemed to take himself in hand and squared his shoulders, patted her, and grinned an apology. "I… I'll make it up to you, Marita. I'm sorry. Come on. We've got a bastard to kill and Alex is waiting for me." Turning, he started forward once more.

Marita smiled tightly. "Right. I can't wait to see you kill that bastard. Too bad you said you wouldn't gut him alive slowly, though. I think he deserves that, for what he did to Alex." She smiled nastily. "Don't you?"

The smile that Dustin turned on her was cold, and it was apparent that he was determined. "There isn't enough pain to pay him back for what he's done to my lover. I'm going to send him somewhere that he'll suffer for an eternity. He's going to hell tonight, and I'm going to send him there." They arrived at the entrance of the penthouse suite, and Dustin rapped sharply on the door. "He'll be in Hell tonight," he repeated as they waited for the knock to be answered.

Greta turned from the window where Spender sat in his wheelchair, looking out pensively. She opened the door, and nodded. Stepping aside, she let them enter.

Spender had been thinking about the alien invasion, but also about his project with the boys. Their mother had fooled him once, or tried to at least, and now he'd tried, and failed, to set it right. He swallowed. To the room at large, he said, "We've failed, then. Perhaps you never meant to succeed. Anyway... the hour is at hand, I presume."

No words were spoken. Dustin, set-faced and determined, strode to where the evil old man sat in his wheelchair. It was as though this were a deadly snake, a creature that had assumed the form of a human in order to cause harm. It seemed to Dustin that he might even welcome a return to Hell. There was a pause, and then he gripped the handles of the wheelchair and began to push it out of the room. As he did so, Greta, in her nurse's uniform, moved to stop him, and Marita stepped into her path and halted her.

Greta looked at Marita as the younger woman held her throat, then looked past her, stunned. Krycek should never have been able to do this... unless...

"What are you doing?" she asked, sharply.

Her words seemed to release Dustin from the frozen moment into which he'd fallen. He shook himself, and glared at Greta.

"Sending the Devil back to Hell." he grated, and began at last to move forward again, pushing the chair in which the old man sat towards the head of the flight of stairs.

Spender felt the anger in Alex as he was pushed to the top of the stairs.He wanted to reach out, to stop him, and force his darling boy to suck him deep, to beg for his love, and look at him with pleading green eyes, full of fear.

He would have, if that's what the Smoker had wanted. This time, he didn't ask it of Alex.

Instead, he simply looked at Alex, his creation, his masterpiece, fatalistically, and said, "As you do to Mulder and to me... you do to all of mankind, Alex."

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Alex Krycek had slipped into the Watergate, and started up the stairs. Daddy… His Daddy was here, waiting for him. He hadn't found the ship, true, but as Karl had said, neither had Mulder. He would tell his Daddy that, and Daddy would love him, hold him, and he would suck Daddy, make him feel good... Daddy never hit him while he was pleasing him. He would make him love him, lick him so well... he'd be forgiven, and loved.

All he wanted was to be loved.

He could feel Daddy's arms around him. He'd be safe.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Spender looked at Alex. Would the boy do it? He really doubted that he would. It went against all his programming, after all.

Dustin stood for a moment, and unless you'd looked into his eyes, you might have believed him to be undecided. A close examination revealed a determination so deep that it seemed set into the man's bones.

"As you do to Mulder and to me... you do to all of mankind, Alex."

He paused for a moment longer, then decisively pushed the man, and his wheelchair, down the stairs. It was over in an instant, and the old man lay still, a crumpled heap at the foot of the staircase.

Marita looked back at Greta, then turned to follow Dustin down the stairs, gingerly stepping over Spender's body, as Dustin had done already. She'd smile later... for now, her features were set into a hard line.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Alex stayed behind the fire door, where he'd hidden at the sound of other people in the hall. He pushed the door open after the two figures had walked past, starting down the next flight. Grinning fiercely, he walked toward the stairs... and saw Daddy, lying motionless.

He dropped to his knees. Someone... someone had hurt his Daddy. Who? He whipped his head around, but saw nothing. Felt nothing. He bent down to his Daddy, kissing him softly. "Daddy?" he said. "Daddy, get up..." But Daddy did not move.

Alyosha began to whimper. "Daddy... Daddy..." Alexei kissed Daddy again. Maybe... maybe. He began to whimper more loudly, feeling his way down Daddy's trousers. He'd give him a good suck, and Daddy would love him, hold him. He'd be safe in Daddy's embrace.

He buried his head in Daddy's chest, lowering himself, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Looking up, he saw the hard visage of Greta, her cold eyes set in menace.

"Mom... Mommy?" Alexei asked, lip trembling. "What... what's wrong with Daddy?"

Dustin had turned back. He'd no idea why, but his mind was shrieking at him that something was wrong. As he returned to the staircase, he saw Alex on his knees beside the fallen Smoker. Gritting back a curse, he strode over to haul Alex to his feet and hold him close as he began to resist.

"Help me, Marita. How did he get here?" The words were as full of menace as anything the woman had ever heard Alex say.

Marita looked at Dustin. "I have no idea. Didn't you say Karl was...my God, he must have... overpowered Karl."

Alex twisted away from Dustin. "Mommy Greta," he said. "What happened to my Daddy? I wanted my Daddy to love me, see what a good boy I am... I came back..." With a jerk, he broke free of Dustin, falling back down to Spender's side, looking up at Greta. "I was a bad boy, wasn't I?" he said, despairingly.

"Alex, Alex, come on, love. I can't stand this." Dustin crouched beside Alex and put his arm around the man's shoulders. "Leave this old bastard where he lies, and come home with me, love."

Alex pulled away from Dustin, putting a hand on Greta's leg, beneath her skirt. "Mommy Greta... what... what happened? What happened to Daddy?" His eyes pleaded with her for help.

Greta was standing back at the foot of the stairs, but now she stepped forward towards Alex, and her smile was as unpleasant as any that Dustin had ever seen. He wondered what was happening when he caught a glint of steel in her left hand, partially hidden by her full skirt, but suddenly he knew what the woman's intentions were. As she raised her knife to stab Alex, he was ready for her; at once his own knife was out, slicing its way up into her solar plexus to stab her heart. She looked almost comically surprised as she crumpled to lie in a widening pool of her own blood. Dustin put away his knife and turned back to Alex.

Blood... and screams. Iron and warmth. It was happening again, all over again... Krycek trembled.

*"Bad, bad boy. You know we can't kill you... not this time, Alexei. But we can show you... "*

Alex gasped.

*A young boy was caught, twisted, thrown. Crying out. Lights... a stone slab. Tied prone. Whips... electric pulse...*

*"No..."*

*"Yes, Alexei. Lie still now." Hurt, hurt... a twist and a slap. Hard cock shoved into his ass... he screamed, screamed as they told him all they would do to him... him and... *

*"Watch, Alexei."*

*His friend, Little Jeffy, was placed on a table... Daddy stood nearby.*

"Come on, Alex. It's time to go home now." Dustin pulled at Alex, and when he didn't move, he turned to Marita. "Help me bring him, for God's sake."

"Noooo..."

*Sergei put his hand on Alexei's shoulder. "My good boy... we need to make you tough. You've seen him take the oil... seen him raped alongside you. But watch this, boy... it'll be... intense. You'll never forget."*

*Alex tried to look away, but his Daddy and Daddy Sergei held him fast. *

*"Watch..."*

*A large blade was brought up. Little Jeffy tracked it with his eyes, fearfully. "Alex, help me..."*

*Alex tried to run to him, but was held back.*

*A scream, a slice, rivers of blood, torrents of it, the taste, the dying screams, the...*

Alex turned inward to himself, shaking and rocking. He felt a hand... crawled away from it. How could they kill his friend? He rocked, rocked...

Marita looked at Dustin, then dropped to her knees, helping Dustin to pick Alex up. "Let's get him to the car."

Alex shook, trying to curl away from the people who grabbed him. He knew he was going to be punished severely. He also didn't want to leave his Daddy's side. He reached out, grabbing onto Spender's jacket, tightly. He keened softly. "I'll be good... Daddy... be good for you..."

"Marita? God!" Dustin was panicked now. Together, they dragged Alex away from the pair of bodies that lay abandoned at the foot of the stairs. Bundling him between them, they managed to crowd him into the elevator and as Dustin held him, Marita pressed the button that closed the door on the dreadful scene.

Alex sank down on the floor of the elevator, drawing his knees to his chest and turning towards the wall. He wouldn't look at Marita or Dustin. "Sorry..." was all he said. "So sorry... love my Daddy."

They struggled him to the car and Marita drove them back to Werber's house. Dustin sat with Alex, holding him tightly while Alex sobbed quietly. When they arrived, Dustin shook him gently.

"We're back home again now, love. Come on."

Alex just looked at him briefly with terrified eyes, and tried to turn away.

They pulled him from the car, led him up the steps, and finally deposited him in a chair in Dr. Werber's living room. Dustin was frantic. He held on to Alex, begging him to come back to him, while Marita went to find Dr. Werber.

Alex sobbed. "Please. I know you're going to hurt me. Please... get it done. Kill me..."

*"Death is too good for you, Boy."*

Alyosha screamed, and jerked away, ending up on the floor in a fetal position, rocking himself furiously.

Dr. Werber came at last from where he had been tending to Karl. He said nothing, merely administered an injection to Alex as Dustin held him in his arms.

"He's in a very bad place. If we ever bring him back, it will be a long, hard struggle. Are you sure that you are strong enough to follow it through?"

Marita looked at Dustin. "Here it comes. The hard part."

Karl limped into the room and over to Dustin. "He... Dustin. He... Sascha... tied me. I had to obey him. Sascha... he's a force of nature. You don't say no to Sascha..."

He knelt, trying to talk to Alex, who whimpered and pulled away. "Alex, it's me... Karl."

Alex screamed, softly, and jerked away.

Mackey looked at Dustin. "Dustin... what happened?"

Releasing Alex at last, Dustin stood up, strode towards Mackey, and punched him hard, knocking him backwards, and then lunging to grab Karl's shirt front to hit him again.

"You fucking incompetent. You let him go. You let him follow. Can't you do anything right?"

Karl growled, finding his feet and shoving Dustin back. "You've never seen Sascha. You don't know... what he's like. How could you?" Mackey's face flushed. "Anyway, YOU should have known this would happen. You claim to *know* my Alex so well.. You should have known, and how could you kill his Daddy where he'd see it?" Karl breathed heavily, right up in Dustin's face. "I won't let you hurt my Alex." He strode over to Alex and tried to talk to him, but again Alex whimpered, crying, "Daddy... no... please, don't. I'll be good."

Dustin shot out his hand to seize Karl, hauling him back away from Alex, but Dr. Werber's normally mild voice cut across the squabble, rocking Dustin and causing Alex, who was gradually becoming drowsy, to whimper again.

"Stop your fighting. This is no way to help Alex." Both men snapped their heads around to look at Dr. Werber, and Dustin said in a choked voice, "What do you suggest we do?"

Werber said, "First of all, release Karl." Then he added, "I can't be sure until I find out more about his programming. I'll need to do deep regression hypnosis, to find out how... ingrained... things are, and what... why he's acting this way. Where he is."

To Be Continued

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